Disturbing Search Requests -- To Diane E., Anyway

Google Search: "letter from gotham" bigot*

Disturbing Belgian Search Requests

Google zoeken: shelby from montreal porn

Mercury News | 09/21/2002 | Sharon's solution: Remove Arafat

So why doesn't he do it already instead of threatening him to death?

Fun With Google News

ITV: Defiant Arafat survives direct hit
Grauniad: Arafat Defiant As Blasts Rock Hq
The Hindu: Defiant Arafat refuses to give in
FT.com: Arafat defiant as Israel shells offices
Austin Statesman: Arafat Defiant As Blasts Rock HQ
ABC/Reuters: Arafat Defiant as Israeli Army Tightens Siege
News 24: Arafat defiant in the ruins

Heston recalls `Ben-Hur' race in GOP stump

"And then I threw the tablets at the mutants and said, 'Damn you all to hell!'"

Okay, I promised I wouldn't make any Heston-Has-Alzheimers' jokes. I lied. Heston did say, "That's what we have to be thinking about these next weeks ahead, that we stay in the ... chariot." I find it particularly appropriate that he compared the Republican Party to a mode of transportation that has been obsolete for over three thousand years.

Moore tells audience God inspired early nation

Hell, I won't give you the "Founding Fathers were mostly deists" spiel. I figure you already know it. I hate Roy Moore. Here's the primary state official in charge of Constitutional interpretation and he refuses to acknowledge the Establishment Clause in the First Amendment. He's a bigot, too.

Appeals court affirms baby mystery ruling

Medell Banks update... Banks, who pled guilty to manslaughter to avoid a possible murder conviction and is serving a fifteen year sentence even though the crime never happened and the baby in question never existed had his conviction overturned in August. But he's still in jail. And the Court of Criminal Appeals just told the prosectors that they would not overturn their decision to overturn the conviction. So Choctaw County set him free.

Ha! Of course not! They still want to hold him. Choctaw County DA Robert Javert -- uh, Bobby Keahey -- says he's going to appeal to the State Supreme Court. The appeal would be in the hands of Alabama District Attorney Bill "Hang 'Em High" Pryor. Pryor could decide to not pursue the appeal, but I'm not optimistic, and Keahey could do it himself assuming the county will let him.

Incinerator scheme unauthorized, Army says

"Oh, for certain, we never asked anyone to come up with a scheme to discredit Alabama officials who worried in public about our chemical weapons destruction plan. Certainly not."

Hey, I have no use for Alabama's elected officials. But when the Army starts playing in electoral politics, it's never good. And they should be taken down a peg or two for it.

Mother says she made bad decisions, did not try to kill son

Ah, the old "I'm a complete idiot" defense. "I didn't mean to give birth to my son in a toilet and leave him there, I was just too stupid to know what to do."

Shin Bet foils plan to poison Jerusalem hospital's water

Will somebody please explain to me how this sort of atrocity is supposed to show that the Palestinians deserve their own state? And why nobody ever seems to hold it against them?

Sick Austrian Search Requests

Google-Suche: human castration

CNN.com - Isidore heads for the Yucatan - Sep. 21, 2002

And throughout the South, weathermen are sorrowful, because their moment of glory has been cancelled. Yes, a hurricane hitting Florida doesn't have anything to do with someone in northern Alabama, but that wouldn't keep the weathermen from taking over the newscasts.

CNN.com - Buzz Aldrin won't face charges - Sep. 20, 2002

Good. Now hit him again Buzz. And his friends. And the creationists. And John Edward.

Kidman Twitches For Bewitched?

Oh, wonderful. Another bad movie based on an old sitcom. Eventually I suppose they're going to run out of old sitcoms, but it won't be any time soon.

CNN.com - Suspected terrorists arrested in Pakistan - Sep. 20, 2002

Yes, Pakistan is a fun place. It does seem like a lot of cells are getting broken up recently. Maybe this is some sort of chain reaction -- the first group tells on the second, which tells on the third -- or maybe it's a coincidence. This group is allegedly (who knows if there's any actual evidence) behind the attempted assassination of Musharraf and at least two attacks on Western targets -- the bombings of an American consulate and a Sheraton hotel, both in Karachi. I am guessing that their group ("Harkat Ul Mujahideen Al-Almi") is behind the other attacks on Westerners in Pakistan.

Pakistan also identified two al-Qaeda men killed in the raid that captured Ramzi Binalshibh last week. Both were Yemeni. For some reason, nobody's trying to stop the flow of terrorists from Yemen, even the people who want us to focus on Saudi Arabia instead of Iraq.

CNN.com - Suspicious packages cause town evacuation - Sep. 20, 2002

Wow, a whole town. The packages resemble pipe bombs, but the ones checked so far were apparently fakes. Still, they're going to check them all, as they should.

Barnesville, the county seat of Lamar County, is scheduled Friday night to host a festival called Buggy Days. Authorities said they hoped to hold it as planned.

I'm guessing they mean like a horse-drawn carriage. Though mosquitos and ants are still a possibility.

A writer, a weblog, her opinions: Yourish.com

Meryl's "inner bitch" (her term, not mine!) introduces us to Yasser's "little machine gun". Sometimes, they make it too easy.

Reuters Wire | 09/20/2002 | Hitler Comparison Causes Storm Before German Poll

You know, "Storm" is yet another word you might want to avoid when you're talking about Hitler.

Here's an idea... If we are going to maintain a force in Central Europe, why don't we ditch the Germans and move to the western states of the old Soviet Bloc -- Poland, the Czech Republic, etc.? Those countries could use the economic boost, their leaders aren't running for re-election on blatant anti-Americanism, and if the Russians get frisky again we'd be in better position to do something about it. Closer to the Middle East as well. It would cost some money at first, since we'd have to build new bases or retrofit the old Soviet ones, but we can afford it. And it would teach the Germans a lesson. Of course, the Germans would have to build up their army again, and the French might not like that, but I find I'm not particularly concerned by what the French think either.

The co-writer of the story is named "Emma Thomasson". I hate those double-s freaks.

Arab school board reviews overtime

You know how it is. You find someone who can competently teach "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion", you try to get as much out of him as you can. Sometimes, he has to go over. And suicide bombing instructors are hard to find, of course.

No, this is a story about Arab ("Pronounced AY-rabb") Alabama. I love these stories, and I'm convinced that the writers for the Huntsville Times do too.

Paging Michael Chiklis

The Birmingham police department continues to resemble "The Shield". We've had one cop running a gambling operation, and a couple of cops beating up a suspect and then sending him on his way. Two stories in today's Birmingham News. First:

Ex-girlfriend: Officer pistol-whipped her

And that's not all! He also broke into her home, forced her to crawl from one end of the house to the other, and (probably; she can't prove this) forced her to perform oral sex on him. To Protect and Serve!

Second:

Ex-officer's attorney takes self off case

A capital murder case, at that. A former police officer (it's not clear if he worked for Birmingham, but it certainly wouldn't surprise me) is charged with killing his wife's ex-husband and his new wife over a custody dispute. He then allegedly put them in the trunk of their car and set it on fire. The attorney wants off the case not because he doesn't like his chances but because of a confict of interest; the judge didn't like it that he'd represented both the former officer and his wife.

Season 3 sounds promising for "Ed"

Viacom has finally given up and allowed the producers to dump the woeful Clem Snide song and bring back the original theme by the Foo Fighters. Now if only the rest of the show returns to the way it was in the first season...

Bring Back the Nigerians!

At least they're intermittently entertaining. I've gotten at least six pieces of spam advertising big savings on inkjet cartridges in the last 24 hours.

Army scorn scheme bared

The Army -- the United States Army -- is concerned about how civilians are concerned about possible problems at the chemical weapons incinerator in Anniston. (Where they eat dirt.) How are they going to answer the concerns? By mounting a public relations attack upon Alabama's leaders.

HealthSouth under SEC probe; stock drops 26%

Is this the end for HealthSouth? Which owns seemingly every private hospital in Alabama? Probably not, but good to see Alabama wasn't left off the crony capitalism bandwagon.

Isidore shaping up as major storm

I know a guy named Isadore. I bet he's excited... The refreshing thing about this storm is that the guy at the NWS admits he has no idea where it's going to go after it hits Cuba. Odds are it will hit somewhere near Mobile, but it could really be anywhere among the five states that have Gulf coasts. I'm plotting out "Stormwatch: The Hurricane" right now.

Guardian Unlimited | World Latest | Arafat Prays While Under Siege

Oh, that's going to come in handy. I'm sure Allah is looking out for him. Actually, if He is, it would explain a lot.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Tapped wants to know why US military bases allow Playboy to be sold but not Playgirl. My guess is that it's because, whatever the name of the magazine, the target audience for Playgirl is actually homosexual men. And there aren't supposed to be any of those in the military, remember?

The military's Anti-Porn Rules are really stupid, of course. But then so is a whole lot of what goes on in the military.

Stoiber steps up populism as poll looms

Meanwhile, possible alien being Edmund Stoiber says he would never allow the US to launch "unilateral" attacks on Iraq from German soil. On the other hand, he seems open to it under UN sanction. Which makes sense to me, even if saying it costs me my warblogger street cred. I'm not saying that I necessarily agree with him on the need for an attack (as I've said before, I think we'll have to fight Saddam eventually, and I'd rather do it before he has nuclear weapons) but it seems to me that we should at least make the case to the Germans if we're going to use their airspace. I don't think we will, anyway.

Stoiber is certainly not as reflexively anti-American as the comedy team of Schröder and Fischer, who apparently wouldn't allow an attack on Iraq to operate from Germany even with UN sanction. In other words, they've acting unilaterally.

Ananova - German minister sparks storm for reported Bush-Hitler comparison

Well, the Germans would know, wouldn't they? We should probably make sure that she meant it to be an insult and not a compliment.

(Laurence points out that unlike Bush, Hitler actually got a majority of the votes.)

Star Telegram | 09/19/2002 | SURVIVOR: TEXAS

Robert Philpot asks: Why are there so many Texans in reality TV? (There are five on this season's Survivor alone.) If I were unfriendly, I could make a snarky suggestion, but actually I like Texans.

Berkeley Daily Planet
Local restaurants join ban of biotechnology seafood

What planet are we talking about, anyway?

Anyway, about 200 restaurants say that they won't serve food "created with biotechnology". Leaving aside that any domesticated animal species has been subject to thousands of years of genetic manipulation (the slow way), they make it sound like mad scientists are brewing animals in vats somewhere. They're not, obviously.

There is a debate to be made about GM food, but it is not happening, because GM opponents are refusing to make serious objections and are instead acting like the doomsayer in a Frankenstein movie. "There are some things man is not meant to know," and all that. Well, I'll bring the debate down to their level: Bite me.

CNN.com - Disney preps martial arts 'Snow White' - Sep. 19, 2002

"Someday my prince will come... and then I'll kick him in the kneecaps and tear out his heart with my bare hands!"

Original title, since rejected: Snow White and the Seven Shao-Lin. I should point out that Tom Holt wrote a book a few years ago titled Show White and the Seven Samurai.

Kansas City Star | 09/19/2002 | `Alien species' are everywhere

Well, technically humans are an alien species, in the Americas and Australia anyway. You think snakeheads are voracious! Anyway, this is a nice summary of the whole situation. It's getting a lot of attention because of the DCSWF, but as a problem for North America it goes back to the European conquest. Unless you're including humans, in which case it goes back much further...

5 killed as suicide bomber blows up on bus in downtown Tel Aviv

Bastards. There's nothing really to be said about this that hasn't been said a thousand times before. Oh, Islamic Jihad and Hamas both claimed responsibility. I think Hamas has been broken, so it was probably IJ.

David Baker, an official in Sharon's office, said Palestinian militants were waging war against Israeli civilians. "The Palestinians have jumped on the terror bandwagon and are keen on unleashing murderous deeds at any and every opportunity," he said.

My God, when were they off the bandwagon? Give the Palestinians this much, they aren't fair-weather terrorists.

Look what those bastards at Amazon are selling now!

Reuters Wire | 09/19/2002 | Iraq Inspectors Will Need Weeks to Start -Diplomats

So what we're saying is that Iraq has just bought itself weeks or months to work on WMD. Good job, Saddam!

UA president urges focus on academics

The President of the University of Alabama wants to take the focus off of sports and partying (we're the #3 party school in America, whoo-hoo!) and put it on academics. This is a huge mistake. Nobody goes to Alabama to study. Well, he's new.

Site Meter - Counter and Statistics Tracker

Just got hit number 50,000. Thanks.

Georgia infamy jump-starts 'Law & Order'

Ah, the Georgia crematory scandal has hit the big-time! Well, the semi-big-time. It's only "Criminal Intent", not the main show.

The Miami Herald | 09/19/2002 | Science explains out-of-body experiences -- or does it?

It does. Or it will. Trust me on this.

Boston Globe Online / Nation | World / Scientists produce volume of antimatter

Not a big volume. 50,000 atoms of antihydrogen. Then it blew up. Fun and all, but unless you can figure out a way to keep it stable, it won't be particularly useful.

Salon.com News | Cops encouraged to go to McDonald's

Apparently, the police chiefs in Birmingham England are trying to cut headcount.

From the Ichthypundit

Salon.com People | Voracious fish wiped out in Maryland

I think I've linked a similar AP story before, but not with this headline. "Voracious fish" indeed! Anyway, there were only two snakeheads dumped two years ago, but I guess there were four youngsters who reached adulthood before this summer, accounting for the six adults. Seems that the survival rate for young snakeheads isn't too great. The DNR people are "rehabilitating" the pond.

(Thanks to Brian.)

Captain Euro and the Practical Joking Medical Students

[SCENE 1: Our intrepid hero has been sent by the EU to check on the welfare of three medical students detained by the United States government after they were accused of plotting a terrorist attack.]

EURO: Buenos dias, amigos! Me llama Captain Euro. I have been assigned to make sure your rights are not violated.

FIRST MEDICAL STUDENT: You’re our lawyer?

SECOND MEDICAL STUDENT: I hate lawyers.

EURO: Nein, nein. I am merely a humble superhero asked to keep an eye on things by the European Parliament.

THIRD MEDICAL STUDENT: You know, I’m looking into a psychiatry residency, maybe I could help you out.

EURO: I am not insane. But clearly you have become mistrustful because of the psychological burden of this confinement. Be assured that I will help you in any way that does not expose me to personal risk.

TMS: I think you need someone with more experience.

EURO: Seriously, I will bring what help you need. [PAUSE] And if you are connected with terrorism, you can tell me that too. I assure you, your names won’t be involved.

SMS: Oh, so that’s it.

FMS: [S.V.] Let me handle it. [TO EURO:] We really aren’t terrorists, Mr. Euro. But we do know of a political prisoner being in a hospital held right here in Florida. We were on our way to free her when we were caught.

EURO: Really?

FMS: Yes. Let me write down the address for you. Hurry -- and I just hope you’re not too late!

[EURO runs out the door. FMS bursts out laughing.]

**********

[SCENE 2: The next morning, same facility.]

EURO: Thank you for getting me out of that, how do you say, jam?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: No problem, Euro. Now remember: Noelle Bush is not a political prisoner. In fact, her father put her there to keep her out of jail.

EURO: Do not worry, I will not approach her again. Did she have to hit me so hard? At any event, merci beaucoup for rescuing me once again, Captain America. And if I can ever return the favor, please don’t hesitate to call on me.

AMERICA: Yeah, that’s going to happen.

[EURO enters the room in which the students are being held.]

EURO: Ah, so very very amusing, my friends. I hope you got that out of your system.

SMS: Really, Captain, you must forgive. my colleague. He’s given to these fits of so-called humor. This whole thing is really his fault.

FMS: I am so sorry, I tried to stop you before you went. Can we shake hands and make up?

EURO: Tres bien.

[EURO moves to shake his hand, which suddenly detaches from his body. A shocked EURO falls to the floor.]

FMS: [laughs and pulls his real arm from his sleeve.] Ah, the old cadaver arm gag!

EURO: Ah, the famous medical student sense of humor.

FMS: Here, let me help you up.

[He gives EURO his other arm. EURO pulls on it and it too detaches and he falls to the floor. So does FMS, laughing.]

FMS: Twice! Nobody falls for that twice!

SMS: [s.v.] Give it a break, it’s my turn! [TO EURO:] Captain, I have the address of a real group of terrorists. Not here in Florida, but in Washington itself!

EURO: Really? I must go to stop it!

[EURO runs from the room. A few seconds later, he runs back.]

EURO: May I have the address, per favore?

SMS: Here it is, Captain. And hurry!

**********

[SCENE 3: The same detention facility, the next day.]

EURO: Thank you, mon ami. That was a touchy spot you extricated me from.

HULK: Huh? Uh, thanks. How you not know address of White House? Even Hulk know that!

EURO: Please, please. This is embarrassing enough already. And I am not from this country, of course.

HULK: And how you not even recognize White House? Most famous building in country!

EURO: I really do apologize for putting you out.

HULK: Lucky you broke in when President out of town, all I say. Now, you behave!

[EURO walks into the room again, followed by the HULK. All three students see him and break out laughing.]

SMS: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it was just too easy.

TMS: Really, Captain, you should see the look on your face! But seriously, I have the details of a real terrorist plot!

HULK: Why Euro believe you?

TMS: What reason do you have to not believe me? I have never lied to you! You are judging me by the people around me! And I thought you were enlightened!

EURO: Je suis désolé, you are right. I should not judge you by your colleagues. Now, what is this plot of which you speak?

TMS: Al-qaeda operatives are planning to destabilize Afghanistan by killing President Karzai. They have secretly placed a bomb in his hat.

HULK: Is this joke?

TMS: Would I joke about such a serious matter?

EURO: Of course you would not! To Afghanistan! [EURO runs out.]

TMS: There goes the world’s stupidest man. [To HULK:] Aren’t you going with him?

HULK: Hulk stupid, but not that stupid.

**********

[SCENE 4: Guantanamo Naval Base detention facility, aka “Camp X-Ray”, four days later]

EURO: Gracias, senor. I am sorry to put you to any trouble.

AQUAMAN: No trouble, I usually spend Hurricane Season in the Caribbean. What were you thinking?

EURO: I got a very reliable tip that there was a plan to assassinate President Karzai.

AQUAMAN: So you knocked him down and tried to eat his hat?

EURO: Oui. I would have succeeded, too, if not for those meddling guards.

AQUAMAN: They’re very good guards. The US supplies them. You know, President Karzai is very fond of that hat.

EURO: I am sorry, but it really was a very reliable tip.

AQUAMAN: Well, next time check with someone before you do something like that, okay? Now, I got you out of here but it took a while, I have to get back in the water. There’s a boat here, Florida is that way.

EURO: Er, Aquaman?

AQUAMAN: Yes?

EURO: Could you point me towards somewhere else?

[This is an obvious joke. Any resemblance between any actual medical students suspected of being terrorists and the ones in this story are coincidental. Captain America and the Incredible Hulk are copyright 2002 Marvel Comics. Aquaman is copyright 2002 DC Comics. I spit on the Europeans’ lawyers.]

State halts use of travel agencies

Worldwide Travel & Tours (on my way home!) was raided by the FBI, IRS, and state AG's office last week. They won't say exactly why, but there seems to be some political motivation; Worldwide has been used by the state in the past. Now nobody will be able to use travel agencies!

Having used Worldwide in the past, I'm not surprised that the Feebs would want to investigate them. They got $500 tickets for a plane trip I later figured I could have booked myself for $350.

Former UN Iraq weapons chief: War would be disaster for Israel

Scott Ritter is at it again. Now an American attack on Iraq would open up for an Iraqi attack on Israel (just try it, buddy) and would "tilt Arab public opinion even further against the U.S. and Israel", which is like saying that a 400-pound man might gain a few ounces if he eats a chocolate bar. How much do you think Saddam paid him for this one?

Two people killed in Umm al-Fahm suicide bombing

I spoke too soon. The Islamikaze did manage to take one person with him this afternoon. It is still an odd target.

In addition, there was a shooting near Jenin in which an Israeli was killed and a Romanian worker was injured, and the charred body of an elderly Israeli was found on a garbage dump in the West Bank. Terrorists apparently are now taking their lead from Western hate criminals. Two Palestinians attempted to run over a force of IDF reservists and were shot for their trouble, also on the West Bank.

UPDATE: Ha'aretz now reports that the slain victim of the suicide bombing was a police officer.

Daughters go to court, say James Brown owes them royalties

According to them, the Deadbeat Dad of Soul co-wrote "at least 23 songs" with them but hasn't paid them for it. Ah, family. One of his daughters is named "Yamma Brown Lunar". Actually, she's Doctor Yamma Brown Lunar. A medical doctor. Yamma? She was also three years old when one of the songs was written. I suppose it's possible.

Michael J Nelson has the details of another madman across the water who threatens our freedom.

washingtonpost.com: Suicide Bomber Wounds Several in Northern Israel

Pretty pathetic suicide bombing. Nobody killed, and the site was an Israeli Arab village. It's been more than the month since the last one, and frankly it's looking like the Islamikazes are running out of steam.

French Court Orders Release of Nazi Collaborator Maurice Papon

Hey, let's release the Nazi on humanitarian grounds! Surely he deserves it!

Anyway, Papon was allowed to walk the streets for over fifty years until the French government decided it was time to put him in jail. So they did. For three years. But what did he do that was so terrible?

Papon was sentenced to 10 years in prison in 1998 for helping deport 1,600 Jews from southern France to Nazi concentration camps, where many died. At the time, he was in charge of the police in Bordeaux.

Surely he's suffered enough!

Strange Search Requests

Google Search: Chinese snakehead fish speed

Oh, no! Now the snakeheads are on amphetamines!

Heston planning visit to raise cash for GOP

I am not going to make any Alzheimer's jokes. But if you want to, the comments are right there, fire away.

Trial starts for father in starved son's death

Another set of "parents" who have no business reproducing. Or living.

Lawsuit challenges 2002 changes in Alabama's law on abortion

Yes, but the lawsuit is from a New York group. They're not from around here. They don't understand that we know what's right and what's wrong here in Alabama, and what's right is making abortion providers give out graphic brochures to all prospective patients. And pay for them with their own money. And then send her home to read it for 24 hours, along with an ultrasound picture of the fetus. And then, probably, notify Operation Rescue so they can go to her house and picket and maybe beat her up, but that got killed in committee.

Candidate: Ads 'racist'

I have not seen the ads (which said that if the challenger in the Gadsden mayor's race won the city would become "another Birmingham", rather than the sorry middle-of-nowhere town it is) but they sound racially motivated to me. Who knows? Even if they're clean on the surface, I doubt that's how they're meant to be taken.

May edges Mitchell by 29 in Bessemer

Wow, that's tight. I've lived in Bessemer, off and on, much of my life. And I never ever voted in any municipal elections, even though the voting place was a block and a half from where I lived. I've actually walked past the voting place on municipal election day without stopping. But 29 votes? Quitman Mitchell (the incumbent) would have to feel pretty bad about losing if it were just because he couldn't get the "Lazy and Uninformed" vote out.

Reuters Wire | 09/18/2002 | No International Plot in German 'Sept. 11' Arrests

So what we have here is a couple of crazy kids in love who got together and said, "Hey, let's build a bomb!" If this happened in the US, following the LAX precedent, the White House would have to say it wasn't terrorism.

Ananova - Unexploded car bombs found in County Down

That's just great. Looks like the "Real IRA" is starting up again. Super.

Heard on The Daily Show last night:

Jon Stewart: Are you saying that picking up strange women in Shoney's and taking them home with you is your plan for fighting terrorism?

Steven Colbert: I'm just saying that's what works in Alabama.

Jewish extremists may be behind Palestinian school bombing

This is disgusting, of course. Thank God nobody was killed. This has happened before; I hope that this batch of terrorists is caught and punished soon.

Hitchhiker Gets Thumbs Up

They're trying to make the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie again. This thing has been in the works most of my life. I'll believe it when I see it.

War Now!

Bruce went blank this morning; I assumed it was something to do with the problems several Blogspot sites have had lately with templates and other things. But now he has a message up:

So long and thanks for all the fish.

I am very sorry, but this blog can no longer continue. I will miss you all.

If you want to send me a message, you can e-mail me.

Say it ain't so! I have my suspicions about what happened.

Archbishop Wanted to Shock Vatican

A Zambian archbishop who was threatened with excommunication for marrying a South Korean woman in a group ceremony led by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon says he went through with the wedding to shock the Vatican.

Well, that is pretty shocking. Don't get me wrong, I think the whole vow of chastity thing is stupid (and extrabiblical to boot, if that matters) but he took the vows and he should live up to them. His choice. And getting married in a ceremony performed by Rev. Moon is just off the scale wrong. Of course, as the story goes on to describe, Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo appears to be a total bozo who really should not have been ordained in the first place and certainly shouldn't be allowed any position of authority.

From the Ichthypundit

nbc4.com - News - State Collects Dead Snakehead Fish

More than 1000 DCSWF were collected from the Crofton Snakehead Pond. Six were adults, which I don't quite understand. How many did the guy dump? Do they mature that fast?

AP Wire | 09/17/2002 | Utah parents charged in girl's death

Here is what crackpot theories do. A four-year-old girl died of water intoxication because her parents thought making her drink too much water for her system would "promote family bonding". Nothing quite brings a family together like a murder trial!

Reuters Wire | 09/17/2002 | U.S. Interior Secretary Norton Ruled in Contempt

Personally, I've always held Gale Norton in contempt.

Anyway, Gale the Destroyer failed to comply with a court order to fix "oversight problems with American Indian trust funds". The problem goes back to at least 1996; Bruce Babbitt and Robert Rubin were held in contempt in 1999.

But instead, he found that the department did "virtually nothing" and said the department has "indisputably proven" that it is either unwilling or unable to competently administer the Individual Indian Money trust.

This isn't anything new, of course. The Bush/Norton Interior Department has been marked most strongly by its refusal to do anything other than cater to ranching and farming interests. This isn't the first time Norton has refused to comply with court orders; it's been going on in relation to the Endangered Species Act since she took office. Failing to comply with court orders is what Gale Norton does. It's probably her mandate.

Your Tax Dollars At Work, If You're In India

The Hindu : Apex court admits plea against introduction of astrology course

A scientist and "two others" are fighting the attempted introduction of "Vedic Astrology" in Indian universities. The government thinks teaching astrology is a super idea. The plan is, I believe, tied up with the Hindu nationalist ideology of the current government, and it's worrisome. If Indian secularism loses out to Hindu religion as the governing principle in India, there will be -- can be -- no peace in the subcontinent, and the Muslims of Kashmir would be right to revolt. Furthermore, any attempt to turn back the clock and dim the light of reason should be resisted, both because it's better for everyone's well-being and because truth is important.

Viewing 9/11 as the Big Lie

I missed this until today when I received Barry Karr's CSICOP newsletter today. Anyway. it's another look at the ridiculous Thierry Meyssan and his brethren in anti-Americanism and anti-Semitism.

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Health supplements: R.I.P.

Who said the EU never did anything worthwhile? It might kill off Britain's thriving Useless Herbal Products stores. So here we have the unusual sitation of the Grauniad upset by an EU policy I like. Strange world.

If Mohammed can't go to the mountain...

That may be an inappropriate metaphor these days, but... Ted Barlow reports on the latest Bush environmental shenanigans. Since the scientists keep coming back with studies that don't meet the Bush administration and its energy-company-puppetmasters' approval, the administration is going to make a change in policy. They're going to get rid of committees that don't come back with the right recommendations.

Bob Shrum loves David Eggers!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Satellite Combs Mountain for Noah's Ark

Well, gosh, why not? I'm sure it didn't have anything more important to do than look for something that doesn't exist.

Hey, it's possible that there is something on the peak of "Mount Ararat". (The Bible, in fact, doesn't speak of a mountain of that name; it says the ark landed in "the mountains of Ararat", plural, Ararat being the Hebrew for "Urartu", a kingdom centered in what is now southwest Turkey. The identification of a certain peak came on in Christian times.) But if there is, it is almost certainly a church or monastery of Byzantine date, perhaps built to resemble the mythical ark. That won't stop the fruitcake brigade from claiming that the flood story has been proven.

The Herald, Sharon, Pa.

So, you're an idiot. And you're looking for an explanation of Sept. 11. Who do you turn to? Noam Chomsky? Robert Fisk? The Council on American-Islamic Relations?

No. You turn to Nostradamus. On the good side, Nostradamus is dead, so at least he doesn't make money off it.

Trial to start though victim is missing

Bruce Day allegedly shot into a car in an attempt to kill two people. One of the victims is now missing. Hasn't been seen since December, actually. I'm sure he's just fine.

The Lefty Libertarian

Well, that's different.

Animal cruelty charge in cat's death dropped

Apparently, it's not animal cruelty to shoot a cat as long as you have plausible deniability. Not even that plausible; the man admitted to shooting the gun that killed the cat, but not to shooting the cat. And that was enough to get the state to drop charges. I may have mentioned this before, but I hate people like this.

Satsuma family members indicted for eBay fraud

Who says Alabamians are dumb? This family bilked a bunch of EBayers out of $250K.

Environmentalists sue TVA on Colbert Plant

Environmentalists sued the Tennessee Valley Authority Monday over allegations that the agency's Colbert Plant has violated pollution laws nearly 9,000 times within the past five years.

That's almost five times a day! (9000 violations/1825 days = 4.93 per day.) So on a good day they only violate rules a couple of times. But wait, our local watchdogs are on the case!

In the past, an Alabama Department of Environmental Management official said that 8,000 violations in five years would not be unusual among coal-fired power plants.

Oh, so they're not too bad. According to this official. It should be noted that ADEM is in the pocket of industry, especially the coal industry. You can't get anything done about pollution in this state without a private lawsuit, because the state wants a "healthy business environment". As opposed to a healthy environment for actual human beings; business is more important.

From the Ichthypundit

Bubba, last known Alabama sturgeon, dies in captivity

Rest in peace, Bubba. The fishery people hope there are more still in the Alabama River:

They still hope to find and catch more of the endangered fish to use them and some of Bubba's frozen sperm to start a breeding program, he said.

Anyway, the Alabama sturgeon apparently became endangered because its breeding was disrupted by dam building. And it took over a decade to get on the endangered list, by which time there were only a handful left. Fewer than ten have been caught in the past seven years.

Nekotama Cats Park

Apparently, there's a cat zoo in Japan. Just cats. From what I can tell, just domesticated cats. I suppose this is one of those cultural things.

(Via Pop Culture Junk Mail.)

Protesters picket Bruno’s over TV anchor’s dismissal

Protesters picketed a supermarket in Tuscaloosa to protest the dismissal of an anchorman in Birmingham. Don't ask me.

Libertarian sues to stay in House race

Wayne Parker thought he'd qualified to run for Congress in Georgia. It was a pretty big deal since third-party candidates never qualify to run there; he would have been the first in 59 years. But district officials invalidated most of his ballot petition signatures, so he looks out. And guess what his motive is for running:

At stake is more than Parker's principles. His candidacy could influence who wins the 11th District. In a close race between Republican Phil Gingrey and Democrat Roger Kahn, Parker hopes to siphon off enough voters from Gingrey to send Kahn to Congress.

He's the anti-Nader! Actually, Gingrey is a "social conservative" (translation: religious fanatic) and Parker has the opportunity to send someone who isn't to Congress instead.

Metro blacks close income gap with whites

That's in the Atlanta area. Good news. Of course, the largely black city of Atlanta proper is still desperately poor.

A 'Quickie' courtesy TLC

Swear to God, that's the title of the section. And "Quickie" is the name of the TLC single featuring undead rapper Schmisa Schmopes*.

*Name changed because even a shameless hit whore is tired of searches for autopsy pictures.

Yahoo! News - U.S. Calls Iraq Offer Tactic That Will Fail

In other words, the Bushites are not going to allow even the slightest chance of there not being a war.

Yahoo! News - Reeve Blames Church, Bush for Research Obstruction

Of course, he's a Democrat. Or was at the Democratic convention, anyway. He's still right. To a degree, anyway. I don't share his belief that stem cell research would have brought breakthroughs so quickly, and Bush hasn't been in office two years. But his obstruction, and that of the Catholic Church, has certainly slowed things.

Reuters Wire | 09/17/2002 | Malaysia Says 150 Students Denied U.S. Visa

They say that the students aren't terrorists. And that's probably true. At any rate, I'm sure that the vast majority aren't. But maybe one or two are. We don't have to accept any foreign students if we don't want to; we do because it's good for both us and the other country.

On the other hand, we're letting anybody from Saudi Arabia come in whenever they want, and none of the 9-11 hijackers were from Malaysia.

Reuters Wire | 09/16/2002 | WTO Rules Against U.S. on Anti-Dumping Payments Law

Guess who's violating free trade agreements again! However, I can't blame it on Bush this time; this one's on the heads of Robert Byrd and the rest of Congress. On the other hand, Clinton was against the Byrd Amendment and Bush supports it. So I guess I can still blame him, especially since both houses were Republican then. Whew.

Miss America Contest Proves Diverse

Miss Alaska Peggy Willman is an Inupiaq Eskimo. Miss South Dakota Vanessa Shortbull is a Lakota Sioux. Miss Delaware Shoha Kirti Parekh is of Indian descent. Six contestants are black, and for the first time, the pageant has an African-American host _ comedian Wayne Brady.

Showing that, as ever, the Miss America pageant is thirty years behind, and they've finally caught up with 1972. Though Wayne Brady is funny.

Yahoo! News - Roxette Singer in Hospital with Brain Tumor

Remember Roxette? I've been trying not to, personally. Anyway, too bad for her, but the real story is that Roxette was still around. I thought they'd been exiled to the Island of Misfit Eighties/Nineties Pop years ago.

CNN.com - Same-sex schools plan comes under fire - September 16, 2002

The Bush Adminstration apparently thinks it's not important for children to be acquainted with members of the opposite sex. Who says we don't have anything in common with Saudi Arabia? Next up: single-race schools!

You know, I never used to reflexively disbelieve anything the government said. Not even when Reagan was President. (I'm too young to really remember Nixon's presidency.) But after the "dirty bomber" and the attempts to tie unrelated issues to 9-11, the raging dishonesty about Social Security and the Bush economic theory that holds cutting taxes on rich people is the answer to all problems and what you do when there are no problems...

Well, they lost me. I'm in reflexively-disagree mode and I will be until they prove they can be trusted. I don't mind disinformation in a war -- I'd be upset if they didn't do that. But what I see is a pattern of lying and obfuscation for domestic political consumption. Nothing going on in the War on Terror? Well, announce the capture of the guy we've been holding for six months! We want to cooperate with our allies, but here are some tariffs on European goods! Fidel Castro is building weapons of mass destruction!

Baby found in downtown parking lot

Some people shouldn't be allowed to live, yet alone reproduce:

It was a newborn girl, about 7 pounds, with about a foot of umbilical chord still dangling and treated with gauze bandage. The baby was wrapped in two dirty towels matted with dog hair and placed on a 4-foot-high, 30-inch wide cement ledge in a parking lot behind Franklin's Printing, at 135 International Boulevard, across from Centennial Olympic Park.

Source: Killer in apperent murder-suicide near NYC's Times Square is former FBI agent

First, it's not a Great Moment, but the headline includes a typo: it should be "apparent", obviously.

Second, fine folks the FBI hires, isn't it? The former agent turned Blue Cross VP shot and killed a couple of his co-workers and then himself.

Awkward Moments in Headline Writing

Guardian Unlimited | World Latest | Hijack Suspect Asked to Be Held

Sept. 16, 2002: The Grauniad's attempt at a clipped headline style only makes it sound like the suspected hijacker is a lonely young man who wanted some human contact. Heck, they may think that. In fact, the prosecutor asked the court to hold Kerim Chatty in custody until the investigation is concluded.

Stocks Decline at Midmorning Amid Earnings Warnings, War Jitters

And presumably fear that President Bush will give another speech.

NEWS.com.au | 'People smuggler' faces justice (August 27, 2002)

And what do they call people smugglers in Southeast Asia? "Snakeheads"! (Dead link, unfortunately. I'll try to find another. This was posted to the wrong site and I didn't notice it until just now.)

UPDATE: Here's a story that refers to a people smuggler known only by his nickname: "Snakehead".

AP Wire | 09/16/2002 | Supreme Court won't stop asbestos trial

Said a spokesman for giant multinational corporations who caused long-term health problems and death in their low-level employees and now are afraid to pay for it, "When are these old geezers going to die already and give Bush a chance to appoint some more friendly justices?"

Kansas City Star | 09/16/2002 | Phone calls point to al-Qaida presence in U.S.

Two points: There are al-Q sleeper cells active in this country. And the FBI is listening to our phone conversations. With the help of their good friends at the NSA. I feel more secure already!

ABCNEWS.com : Students Held Say Remarks Misconstrued

They also say they want their names cleared. Well, one of them is named "Kambiz Butt", so really his name is going to be a problem no matter what. Anyway, they screwed up maybe but they're not terrorists, and now their lives are ruined and their education is going to waste. It's not even clear that they said anything that could be considered even a joking threat.

Sessions, Baxley out front, poll finds

Looks like Jeff Sessions and his googly eyes are going to return to the Senate for six more year. Sessions has an enormous, perhaps insurmountable, lead on Democrat Susan Parker. The state's most popular Democrat, Lucy Baxley, holds a slight lead for Lieutenant Governor, six points over Bill Armistead. The current Lt. Gov, Steve Windom, ran for the GOP governor nomination and was waxed.

Noted critics of evolution urge balance in the classroom

So half the time, we'll teach what actually happened, and the other half we'll teach the natural history of your imaginary world, is that it?

AP Wire | 09/16/2002 | Alleged N.Y. Cell Probed Pre-9/11

Really? That seems unlikely to me, or unlike the way law enforcement has behaved the past year. They've been so eager to make an arrest, any arrest, that they haven't been prudent at all. And now they spend more than a year building a case?

My guess is that someone sent them a tip summer 2001 but it wasn't until recently that they acted on it. Am I cynical? Well, yes.

Ananova - Singapore arrests 21 terror suspects linked to al-Qaida

All Singaporean citizens; they reportedly are members of a group planning "attacks on US interests there". Knowing Singapore, they were probably planning on littering.

Sudanese gov't accuses Israel of supporting southern rebels

You can see why Sudan would be upset. I mean, how would Israel feel if other nations in the Middle East sent money and weapons to ethno-religious separatist rebels within Israel? Oh, right.

"How can the rebels obtain tens of tanks, missiles and advanced communications systems if not from Israel?" he asked. "It is in Israel's interest to divide Sudan and the Arab world."

Remember, everything bad that happens to Arabs is Israel's fault. The Christian/animist, non-Arab rebels in the southern Sudan couldn't possibly get their weapons from anyone but the Israelis.

My personal opinion is that if Israel is supporting the rebels (and why would they?) good for them. The southern part of Sudan should be a separate country. It doesn't have any real ties with the north and I don't blame them for wanting to avoid being ruled by sharia law, something the northern rulers of the country are thinking about.

Chicago Tribune columnist Greene resigns over 'inappropriate' sexual relationship

Bob Greene had a sexual relationship with a girl in her "late teens". Frankly, I always thought he was kind of creepy.

From the Ichthypundit

The Indy Channel - Indiana Piranha Turn Out To Be Fish Story

As happened near me recently, suspected piranha turned out to be "pacu", a vegetarian relative of the piranha. Is there somebody (Johnny Pacu?) roaming the country dumping them into rivers and trying to scare people?

CNN.com - Family killed in house explosion one day after moving in - September 15, 2002

Five people died in the explosion in Michigan. And somehow, this one is Israel's fault too.

Disturbing Search Requests

Google Search: Musharraf loves Nixon

This fall, on ABC!

Reuters Wire | 09/15/2002 | Liberian Migrants' Boat Sinks Off Sicily, 14 Dead

This comes on the heels of Liberia's president ending a state of emergency and saying everything in Liberia was now fine. So fine that a group of Liberians went all the way to Libya and from there got on a leaky boat to Italy, just to escape.

Poll: Most back Moore on Ten Commandments

Alabama Supreme Court Chief "Justice"/Head Theocrat Roy Moore came to the state's attention when he was a local judge by openly defying the United States Constitution and Supreme Court and hanging the Ten Commandments in his courtroom. Seventy percent of Alabamians either don't understand the concept of separation of church and state or are actively opposed to it. We've always had a high moron quotient around here, but this is still pretty shocking.

Governor's race now in dead heat

The latest poll has Riley 45, Siegelman 43, and a surging Libertarian John Sophocleus 2. The poll question was not "If someone held a gun to your head and made you vote for governor, who would you vote for?" But maybe it should have been.

U.S. Says Suspects Awaited an Order for Terror Strike

Well, maybe. Or maybe not. I find that more and more I don't believe anything that the FBI says. John Ashcroft is the Boy Who Cried Wolf.

Hoax or not, residents glad woman acted

I'm not sure "hoax" is the right word. "Joke" is closer. It was a dumb joke (if it happened at all, which the alleged perpetrators deny) but clearly not meant to be taken seriously.

"Terrorism is not something to be joking about," said 17-year-old Corey King as he stood in the rain-soaked parking lot of the Piggly Wiggly in Calhoun, a town of 10,600. "They ought to take them to jail anyway."

They're not actually guilty of anything, but heck, they're not normal people. Send them to jail!

Blair Report to Link Hussein With Al Qaeda

Is this report any more believeable since it came from the Brits? A little. I mean, if it came from the White House, we'd know it was fake.