A message for degenerate gamblers

When I was a small boy, my grandfather sat me down next to him, and he gave me some sound advice. I'm going to share it with you.

"Mac, my boy," he said, "Never bet on Alabama. This is the illegal gambling capital of the world, and there are so many bets placed on the Tide that they drive the lines up, and they're always favored by more than they should be. Only bet on Alabama when they're an underdog and you think they're going to win."

"Now, go play."

Bama 13, Vandy 10, Alabama is a sick football team

VU vs ALABAMA (Sep 9, 2006)

I don't get it. Why is it that a team can move the ball up and down the field but whenever they get inside the opponent's 25 they turn into bumbling incomptents afraid to do anything but run off-tackle? I hesitate to suggest that maybe it is the coaching.

Alabama had four possessions in the first half, largely due to these stupid clock rules which the NCAA has foisted on us. They did not punt, they had long drives on three occasions -- and scored three points. On their first drive, they held the ball for eleven plays and 51 yards, only to call a boneheaded fake kick on fourth-and-nine from the 24 (Alabama uses their punter as the holder, common in the NFL but not in college because it's basically stupid), a run for two yards.

On their second drive, they went 47 yards on eight plays and kicked a fieldgoal. Wilson's first pass was picked off (it was just an underthrow, not a mental mistake) on the next drive, leading to a fieldgoal to tie it. They took over after the kick, went 64 yards on ten plays -- and fumbled at the 13 on 3rd-and-1. Vandy then drove 87 yards for a touchdown, really their only good drive of the game.

Alabama tied it on their first drive of the half, on a 31-yard pass to DJ Hall (back from his "injury") then forced a fumble on the kickoff, taking over at the 26. But Johns fumbled at the three. After some pretty bizarre play calling on their next couple of drives, they finally set up for a long fieldgoal by Leigh Tiffin, who drilled it from 47 just like his dad used to, and managed to hold on to win it.

When you outgain the other team 341-235 and commit fewer turnovers and control the return game, you really shouldn't be in a situation where you have to hold on to win it. But that's how it was. As it was, if not for a great game by Simeon Castille, who picked off two passes, one in Alabama territory when Vandy was in position to take the lead in the fourth, they very likely would have lost. (Castille played a lot of safety and nickelback, and seems more comfortable there than at corner.) Ken Darby finally got on track in the fourth quarter with a couple of nice runs, but still had only 65 yards on 21 carries, and Johns' fumble problems make Shula hesitant to use him.

This isn't going to work when we play good teams.

News, for a given value of "news"

VOA News - Senate Report Rules Out al-Qaida Link with Saddam

So, what we knew five years ago, then.

Shocking

CNN.com - Schwarzenegger: Cubans, Puerto Ricans 'all very hot' - Sep 8, 2006

I know it's certainly hard to believe that someone who used to hang out with Kurt Waldheim and has been quoted as admiring Hitler would ever say something so racist.

Lame metaphor, Luce

Baxley says Riley must `come clean' in lobby ties

You want to smear Riley as dirty, so you do your spiel outside a carwash. I suppose it's better than a laundromat.

Not to encourage my little troll sock-puppet (does the Riley campaign really have so much manpower they can afford to troll my little site?) but Riley really does have a problem here. His former personal aide is Jack Abramoff's sidekick. There's no getting around it. All he can say is that after Scanlon worked for him, Riley never asked Scanlon for money. He can't even deny getting money from Scanlon, or won't, which amounts to an admission that he took money.

Verification

Two more gates to be open for students - Tuscaloosa

Some students said they waited up to two hours to get inside, and many complained of a crush of people trying to get into the stadium just before UA’s game against the University of Hawaii. Some students reported that at least one student fainted.

I was there, and I can report that: 1) it took about an hour to get in; 2) there was in fact a crush of people pushing forward, because that was the only way to progress, and; 3) a student right in front of me did in fact faint (and throw up; luckily for us she was on a "liquid diet", shall we say).

The school is so obsessed with keeping the students in their place that this situation was bound to happen. When I was an undergraduate, the process was simple; you walked to the gate, you showed your ID, then they took your ticket. The process was somewhat more complicated this time.

First, you wait in line for an hour. Then you finally get to the gate, where a cop looks at your ID and rummages through your personal belongings in case you are bringing in the dreaded alcohol. Then a second person scans your student ID on one of those magnetic readers. And then a third person actually takes your ticket. It's remarkably inefficient.

The associate athletic director says that students should show up earlier. Earlier than two hours before game time?

UPDATE: Reading the story in the student newspaper, I can also verify that associate athletic director John Gilbert is an ass. He says that the problem was students showing up "fifteen minutes before game time". I was there an hour and fifteen minutes before game time and spent most of that time in line. According to Gilbert, students should show up 45 minutes before game time and there would be no problem -- assuming, I guess, that you don't mind missing the first quarter.

The other problem, which both the Tuscaloosa and student papers apparently won't say out loud, is that fraternities are allowed, for some ungodly reason, to reserve blocks of seats by sending a few freshmen to hold them when the gates open, then expect to stroll in whenever they feel like it.

I think this qualifies as chutzpah

No Jeffco jurors in sewer trial?

The argument seems to be that because everyone in Jefferson County was a victim of the crimes -- oh, sorry, the alleged crimes -- they have prejudged the issue and can't be fair so people from Blount and Shelby Counties -- who are noted for their love of Jefferson County -- should be used instead.

I think this could revolutionize the legal system. For example, if Karl Rove went on trial, only Canadians and Mexicans should serve on the jury. Upon closer reading:

"It is unbelievable that one could have lived in Jefferson County within the last four years and not have been exposed to the negative newspaper reports and angry opinions repeatedly expressed by the articles," the defense request said.

Well, that's an interesting take. I should point out that the people of Shelby and Blount actually read the same papers and watch the same news broadcasts as the people of Jefferson. They largely work in Jefferson.

80 on the PSAT

Hoover High student gets perfect score

And on an upcoming episode of Two-A-Days, you can watch him get beat up!

Fun with headlines

Ex-homeless cocaine addict now works, owns home

Though, from reading this headline, it looks like she's still a cocaine addict. I don't think that was intended.

Mayor pans police, fire pay raises

This is the exact headline they used ten days ago, which was the last time Kincaid announced that being a policeman or a fireman was the same thing as being a garbageman and therefore they shouldn't get a raise unless everyone did.

Congratulations!

CNN.com - Capture a 'severe blow' to al Qaeda in Iraq - Sep 3, 2006

This marks the one hundredth time we've captured "al-Qaeda's #2 man in Iraq"! Hooray!