Saturday, September 23, 2006

Liveblog of DOOM: Alabama at Arkansas

I'm going to try to liveblog the Alabama-Arkansas game. However, every time I try to liveblog a Braves game they get massacred, so there is an excellent chance I will give up in disgust sometime in the second quarter.

They make the kick, of course. I wouldn't want to be Leigh Tiffen right now. He might have to leave school. There is no way we should have lost this game.

Final Arkansas 24 Alabama 23

OVERTIME Arkansas Second Possession (Again): Mustain throws it out of the endzone. Four-down territory, of course. Third and 8, touchdown Arkansas TE. Shit.

OVERTIME Arkansas Second Possession: McFadden runs to the 13. Then runs for two.

OVERTIME Alabama Second Possession (Oh, No!): Tiffin missed the PAT. I'm sick.

OVERTIME Alabama Second Possession (Again): Wilson crossing pass to Brown for five or six yards. We still have all but one pass to Brown or Hall. Darby nice run, down at the one. Ball pops loose but he was down. Tim Castille time... Tim gets about a half yard. Sneak? Maybe a little long. Play action! TD Nick Walker!

OVERTIME Alabama Second Possession: Now we have to use the real offense. JPW to Hall for nine yards. Darby to the 13, first down.

OVERTIME Alabama Possession: Darby runs for nothing on first down. On second, he powers it to the 24. Terrible offense. Darby runs to the 22 or 21 on third down. Why are we settling for the fieldgoal now? Tiffin shanks it to the right again. You have got to be kidding me. That's three times.

OVERTIME Arkansas Possession (Again): 3rd & 15... Picked off by Lionel Mitchell! He runs it back but is finally tackled at the Arkansas 45. Our turn.

OVERTIME Arkansas Possession: I wonder what Shula will do if he needs a kick. Stick with Tiffin or use Christiansen (who has been kicking off). Arkansas with the first possession, McFadden runs for three. Mustain scrambles and runs out at the thirty. Is he dumb?

4th 0:15: Wilson runs out of bounds. Three seconds left. Goofy play, Wilson's ball is deflected and he catches it, then throws it again downfield. This is illegal but it doesn't matter.

4th 0:34: Alabama all-out rush. Not near. Arenas runs it back to the 30 and uses a ton of time in the process.

4th 0:40: McFadden can't hang onto a pass, 3rd and eight. Pass dropped at the first down line, fourth down, here's the punt.

4th 1:15: False start Arkansas. First and 15. Draw play McFadden, just tripped up, second and eight.

4th 1:35 (Again): I still can't believe Tiffin missed. He's missed two short kicks and made one long one. Christiansen next week? Jones runs a lateral on a trick play across the 45. First down.

4th 1:35: Nutt lets the clock run then calls his second timeout. He's probably going to run with McFadden and if he doesn't make it punt.

4th 2:40: McFadden off tackle for nothing. We may be headed to overtime. McFadden for about five, third and 4.

4th 2:57: McFadden runs for eleven. We're going to lose this game, and Leigh Tiffin is going to feel terrible.

4th 3:11: After a timeout by the Arkies, Tiffin from 30, dead center... Miss. Oh my God.

4th 3:25: Johns tackled in the backfield. We're playing for the fieldgoal.

4th 4:10: Johns dives into the line for two yards to the ten.

4th 4:50: Darby falls down in the backfield. I think he needs new cleats.

4th 5:30: Darby spins his way to about the 8 1/2. First and Goal.

4th 6:50: Darby's best run of the half -- three yards -- on first down. He then beats it with a four-yarder to the 13.

4th 7:29: JPW sneaks for two to the twenty. This is a conservative play calling I can get behind.

4th 7:50: Nifty play by JPW. Empty backfield, everyone's covered, he turns it into a draw play. He's about six inches short of the first down.

4th 8:30: I'm warming to Danielson, who mentions that Johns' downhill running style just works better -- JJ got the five yards back.

4th 9:02: Another false start on Justin Britt loses five yards. ARRRRGGHHHH!

4th 10:10: Slant to Brown, tackle spins him to about half a yard short of the marker. Alabama going for it... Toss to Castille, he runs for the first down to the 32.

4th 11:11: After another fruitless first down run, Danielson wonders if Alabama should use Johns. Join the club, Gary. Darby then runs again for nothing much. 3rd and 8, Darby isn't getting anything.

4th 11:48: JPW goes deep to Hall, interference on Arkansas. DJ didn't catch this one, so we'll take it. First down in Arkie territory. That interference might have saved a touchdown.

4th 12:18: Mustain screws up, throws into multiple coverage. Jeffrey Dukes picks it off at the Alabama 40. With no return and facing a third and 16, that's not really a bad play for Arkansas. It's not good but it's about where we would have gotten it on a probable punt. Mustain has a good arm but he's simply not ready yet. I just hope he doesn't get ready in the next hour.

4th 13:10: McFadden tackled in the backfield by Simeon Castille. Castille isn't really a cornerback but he makes plays, lots of them.

Note: Wilson is 11-15 for 224 yards, all but five to Hall and Brown.

4th 13:36: Touchdown! Bama throws on first down, JPW hits Brown, covered by the Arkies' big star corner, Tiffin hits the kick, tie game.

Tied at 17.

4th 14:11: After an incompletion, 3rd & 8... Pass to Hall complete for a big gain! Flag, interference on Arkansas declined, Alabama ball at about the 13.

4th 15:00: For the third straight time, a first down run into the line produces little or nothing. Can we stop this?

End Third Quarter: Arkansas 17-Alabama 10

3rd 0:25: Another fruitless first down run (we moved it that way in the first, but they've stopped it in the second half) then JPW is sacked at the thirty. But Brown saves us again! Big rainbow pass, Brown catches it at the Arkie 35. Danielson is saying it was offensive interference. Go back to Indiana, asshole. End of the quarter, because Shula wants to shorten the game when he's losing.

3rd 2:30: After a fruitless run, a pass to Hall sets up third and one. JPW runs the sneak for a first down to about the Bama 37.

3rd 4:08 (Again): Nutt is planning a try for two. Pass to McFadden.

Arkansas 17-10

3rd 4:08: Horrifyingly bad play by Wilson, he fumbled and an Arkansas player picked it off and runs it in for a touchdown. The blitzes are really causing problems now. It's being reviewed but it won't be reversed.

3rd 4:21: JPW was about a yard past the line when he threw a long pass for a big gain to Brown. Loss of down and five yards, third and 15. Second time he's done that this year.

3rd 5:29: Terrifyingly bad play by Arkansas, Gilberry breaks loose, Mustain tries to throw a screen. He does, to Simeon Castille. Alabama ball in Arkansas territory. He's lucky it wasn't a touchdown. McFadden saved it.

3rd 6:30: No, off-tackle. That was a horrible drive, and Arkansas is going to get good field position. Yes, our 46. Short punt, good coverage.

3rd 7:16: Darby falls down at the ten. Third and 25. We're going to run another draw play, I bet.

3rd 7:41: Holding on a run #3. Nobody does it like us. Arkansas takes the penalty rather than choose third and 16.

3rd 8:30: Play action, JPW mugged for a ten-yard sack at the 15. Well, it was nice to lead for awhile.

3rd 10:10: McFadden to the two... No gain on second down, good stop Prince Hall... Counter-toss on third, McFadden scores. Again, you know he's getting the ball. Kick no good!

Alabama 10, Arkansas 9

3rd 10:19: After an overthrow, 3rd & 10 from the Alabama 27... Screen pass to Jones to the five. Terrible defense. Nobody but Simpson in the area and he fell down. Alabama calls timeout.

3rd 10:27: Dropped first down pass. Other than Monk, the Arkansas receivers don't appear to be any good.

3rd 11:00: 3rd & 1: Sneak for the first down. I'm still upset about that interference call.

3rd 12:06: Horrible call on third down. Ramzee Robinson was called for pass interference on Marcus Monk on a ball Monk juggled. Robinson was going for the ball. Arkansas moves into Alabama territory.

3rd 13:30: Another long run, this by McFadden, out to the 40. I mean, you know he's getting the ball.

3rd 15:00: Terrible opening by Arkansas, the guy starts to run out of the endzone, then comes out and is tackled at the seven. I generally think you should always down it.

2nd 0:03: Alabama calls a timeout. Shula just loves the new clock rules. Him and... well, somebody else... The kid drills it. The first one may have been too easy.

HALFTIME
Alabama 10, Arkansas 3

2nd 0:30: Two runs to Johns, 3rd & 3 at the 15. Sorry, 3rd & 8, false start on Justin Britt. Sheesh. The line is doing a great job picking up blitzers but they're making a lot of mistakes on this. And now they don't pick up the blitz, JPW gets sacked at the 30. Long FGA to come.

2nd 3:01: Whoo-hoo! Play action, JPW pulls it down and runs for ten yards. This kid may not have the big arm but he's making some great decisions. (Jinxed him, I bet.)

2nd 4:30: Middle screen to Darby, to third-and-two at the Arkie 33. Darby runs, stopped about a half yards short. Decision time. I'm guessing they'll go for it.

2nd 5:19: Long scramble run by Wilson into Arkansas territory. Brodie would never have made it that far without blowing out his knee.

2nd 6:38: Brown on the catch to the 34. JPW loves Keith Brown.

2nd 7:11: Arkansas 3rd & 12... Big pressure, Mustain throws it away. No grounding call, but fourth down. Punt... Arkansas' punter is a spaz, by the way... Touchback. Well, that's an improvement.

2nd 8:20: Felix Jones runs for over twenty yards past the forty. This is getting ridiculous. Then a pass into Alabama territory.

2nd 8:50: BOOM! 78 yards to DJ Hall on play action! Touchdown! Hall makes up for the holding call earlier, Tiffin hits the kick. 99 yard drive -- actually 100 yards because of the penalty.

Alabama 7-3

2nd 9:20: Toss to Darby, runs to the 23! Whew.

2nd 10:20: Walker takes a hit in the end zone, completes the pass to (who else) Brown. But the officials call illegal motion. Six penalties on Alabama already. Wilson hits Hall on a slant to the ten, third down.

2nd 11:28: Mustain overthrows on third and 9. Punting time... Downed at the 1. We're doomed.

2nd 12:01: Whatever a "snap infraction" is Arkansas was just called for it.

2nd 12:43: Slant pass for a big gain into Alabama territory. This sucks.

2nd 12:53 : Now Arkansas is called for holding on a run play. Stop stealing our material!

2nd 13:31: Kick... no good from 34. Ugh.

2nd 15:00: Alabama did something to get to the 18 but we didn't see it because the local station was talking about an air show crash. 3rd & 14. Blitz picked up but Brown tackled well short of the first down.

1st 0:18: Alabama had Johns under center for a gadget play but false start. Sheesh. 2nd & 19 from the 26, and Shula decides to let the clock run out.

End First Quarter: Arkansas 3, Alabama 0

1st 0:31: Johns runs to the two for a first down, but another holding call on a run play. Nobody does that more than us.

1st 1:18: Our first blown timeout of the game. Won't be the last.

1st 1:55: And two straight runs for nothing into the middle of the defense. We're not even inside the 20 yet. 3rd & 9... Wilson throws it away. But Personal Foul on Arkansas for a cheap shot, first down at the 17!

1st 3:09: Reverse looks busted, Andre Smith makes a monster block, Keith Brown runs it to the 45 for a four yard gain. Wilson hits Brown on a crossing pattern for twelve, Bama threatening.

1st 3:17: 3rd & 15, good protection, Wilson hits Hall out to the 45, he runs into Arkansas territory.

1st 4:07: Arkansas hits JP Wilson out of bounds but of course it isn't called.

1st 4:43: Arkansas 3 and goal from the seven... Bad pass. Fieldgoal good. Arkansas 3-0.

CBS has replaced former Penn State quarterback Todd Blackledge as their top color man on SEC football with former Purdue quarterback Gary Danielson. You wonder why we're paranoid.

1st 6:05: McFadden to the seven. We're going to get killed.

1st 6:14: Arkansas throws for a yard on 3 and inches. Goofy.

1st 7:33: Dukes called for interference on 3rd down short of the marker. Particularly annoying because Arkansas's RT moved but it wasn't called. Then McFadden runs to the 20. This sucks.

1st 9:10: A sack inside the ten. I have a very bad feeling. Short punt, returned to our 37.

1st 10:06: Hey, holding on a run play! That never happens. Third and 5.

1st 11:20: Arkansas threw a pass that looked like a lateral to me, but they say incomplete. They punt, downed at the seven.

Alabama got one first down on a Darby run, then had to punt. Arkansas runs a sweep for big yardage into Alabama territory. Ugh.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Hey, guess what!

King proposes three changes to current Alabama laws - Tuscaloosa

Troy King has found another group of people he wants to execute.

Amazing

Demand, price of gas fall

Conserving gas makes it... cheaper! It's almost like there's a fundamental law of economics in play here or something.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Next... on Two-A-Days!

Bush to stop in Hoover to discuss his energy policy

Hoover. As in "Bush sucks". It's a fundraiser, of course, for Riley. Unlike other politicians, Riley is willing to be seen in public with the President.

Welcome to 2006, Vestavia!

Vestavia Hills desegregation plan gets fierce response

Yes, desegregation. Fifty years after the Montgomery Bus Boycott.

There's a desegregation court order in place that requires the Vestavia school system to offer enrollment to students who are zoned for Birmingham schools. They're supposed to have 25 percent black enrollment; they've never gotten close and are currently at 7 percent. This has been such a rousing success that Vestavia now wants to be removed from the order. Shelia Smoot is not happy.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

So much for health care

Miles buys old medical complex

Miles College is going to turn the old Lloyd Noland hospital (closed in 2004) into a second campus. Is it still on Richard Scrushy Drive?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

If this war ever ends

I'm going to need a new name for my blog. I am thinking of going with Thomason Tracts. What do you think?

So crazy it's probably true

Matthew Yglesias / proudly eponymous since 2002

Big Book Matt reports that an "anonymous individual" has told him that someone in the Vice President's Office wants to nuke Iran's nuclear facilities, then deny that we used anything but conventional weapons. When the radiation is picked up, we'd just say that it's from the nukes that Iran was building.

The problem isn't just the incompetence of this administration, it's that too many members of it are completely and utterly insane. Stupid, too. If nothing else, the Russians would probably notice.

A reminder

weather.com - Hurricane Central

If hurricanes don't hit the US mainland, they don't count. So if Gordon levels the Azores, you are advised to not care. Similarly, if Helene changes course and floods Bermuda, this only becomes a problem if it affects your vacation plans. And pay no attention whatsoever to Typhoon Yagi, which isn't even in the Atlantic.

That's going to happen

CNN.com - Willie Nelson cited for pot, mushrooms - Sep 18, 2006

Look, if you're a go-getting rural police officer, and Willie Nelson's tour bus goes by, it's an easy pot bust. I mean, the words "Willie Nelson" on the side of the bus represent probable cause.

Christopher Tolkien has gone bananas

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Unfinished Tolkien tale completed by his son

He's used his father's work as the bones of a novel of "The Children of Hurin". There's no way that this ends well. I liked "The History of Middle Earth", but then I'm an enormous nerd.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Whee, paranoia!

Shelby schools may research volunteers

I don't see any problem with background checks of volunteers, I suppose. But is there any evidence that there have been problems? I mean, any at all? There certainly isn't in this story.

Puns. Sheesh.

Shellfish intentions

I do the puns around here.

Anyway, apparently what Auburn professors do when they retire is start shrimp farms in a saltwater aquifer. Hey, whatever keeps them out of trouble.