Ethics

Democrats attack Riley re-election ad

Apparently, Riley is running an attack ad against Lucy Baxley, which in itself is news what with his twenty-point lead in the polls. Why would you do that to begin with? Why get in the mud if you don't have to?

Anyway, one of the people Riley uses in the ad turns out to be a former aide to a Birmingham city councilman, an aide who -- oops! -- was involved in a scandal in 2004 for using a city-issued cell phone to make personal calls. Lots of personal calls. Like 4 1/2 hours a day.

Well, I'm glad that's over

Auburn clears athletic officials in academic investigation

Yes, nobody at Auburn did anything wrong. The NCAA and SACS don't have to investigate, their internal investigation shows that everything is just dandy.

The claim is that athletes, football players in particular, were not "steered" to the directed-reading "classes" of Prof. Thomas Petee. But a little math... 7.5 percent of those taking Petee's "courses" were football players. There are 85 players on scholarship, 105 on the roster, at any given time. The total enrollment at Auburn last year was 23,333. Hence football players make up .45 percent of the student body. 7.5 percent is a lot more than .45 percent. I don't have the statistical software on this computer, but I would say that this is probably a significant result.

Auburn's Interim President for Life, Ed Richardson, says that, "Our academic reputation is far more important than all the athletic programs put together." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Petee and another professor have resigned their administrative posts but remain professors. Now, I know professors, and this is not a punishment. This is a reward. I have never yet met a professor who liked administrative work.

Liquids

CNN.com - U.S. flyers must face second security check - Aug 11, 2006

Here's one for you... I like to bring on a bottle of ice. (Just take a bottle of water and stick it in the freezer.) Now, technically, this is a solid, not a liquid. Am I allowed to bring this on a plane?

Doesn't count

CNN.com - Typhoon kills at least 83 in China - Aug 10, 2006

Sure, it's the strongest typoon to hit China in fifty years, but it's not an Atlantic hurricane so can't be used as evidence that tropical weather is getting worse as a result of global warming (there'snosuchthingasglobalwarming). Only Atlantic hurricanes count, and really only if they hit the US mainland.

Local angle

Birmingham Airport security targeting liquid items"

For some reason, people aren't being allowed to carry on liquid items (except baby formula, breast milk, and prescription drugs). I would guess that this has something to do with the London terror plot that hasn't come out yet.

Good

CNN.com - Jumping sturgeon whacks jet-skier - Aug 9, 2006

Jet-skiers deserve to be hit. Go sturgeons.

Man, this guy

Police Called to Paul McCartney's Home | ajc.com

Can't he go through a breakup without getting the law involved?

Heather did not, if you're wondering, come in through the bathroom window, but she did have a bodyguard climb over the wall.

I feel like I've done this before

DeKalb primary election results | ajc.com

Oh, right. I have. Goodbye Cynthia McKinney. Please stay away this time.

Wild pigs of Vestavia!

Suburbs hog heaven to wild porkers; 20 trapped

There's a whole colony of wild pigs in the Liberty Park area, it seems. It would be better if they were in Mountain Brook but this is still pretty good.

Prank of the day

Okay, here's what you do. You take some bottled water and you shake it vigorously. Someone will ask you why you're shaking the water; tell them that sometimes the hydrogen and the oxygen atoms separate when it sits in the fridge and you need to combine them. I have actually convinced people of this.

No, you leave New York in August

CNN.com - Accidental tourist: Manatee cruises Hudson River - Aug 7, 2006

Stupid manatee vacationing in the off-month. Anyway, this has nothing to do with global warming, because that doesn't exist, and next thing you know alligators will summer in the Vineyard.

This is a bad thing

Oil wells rise in south Alabama

There's always been some oil production in the state (fifteenth most in the nation, down from 13th at its peak), but it's been declining in recent years. But now it's rising and new production is coming on line. This is bad, because in normal times oil production in these fields isn't very economical. But with gas at three dollars a gallon, you can afford to drill in such peripheral fields.

You know what this means

City's black students leaving for suburbs

Now the white people will have to move to the inner city to get away from the black people.

George Bush, stupidest man on Earth

The Raw Story | Ambassador claims shortly before invasion, Bush didn't know there were two sects of Islam

This can't be real, can it? This sounds like a joke. Seriously, I think they did it on The Daily Show:

Galbraith reports that the three of them spent some time explaining to Bush that there are two different sects in Islam--to which the President allegedly responded, “I thought the Iraqis were Muslims!”

(Via The Poor Man.)