On This Day: June 22

French Sign Reich Truce, Rome Pact Next;
British Bomb Krupp Works and Bremen;
House Quickly Passes 2-Ocean Navy Bill

I almost missed this. I try never to pass up a chance to remind the French of what the Germans did to them in 1940.

The Nando Times: Warmer world means more risk of disease, researchers say

As the world gets warmer, it's more hospitable to infectious diseases. But that's okay, because there's no such thing as global warming, right boys? Enormous sheets of ice falling off Antarctica? Just a coincidence.

ESPN.com: MLB - Cardinals' hurler Kile dead at 33

St. Louis pitcher Darryl Kile was found dead in his hotel room in Chicago this morning. The cause of death is unknown.

CNN.com - Starved N Koreans eating grass to survive - June 21, 2002

A severe shortage of food aid is forcing hungry North Koreans to scrounge for grass and seaweed, the United Nations says.

As usual, the UN is being misleading. The problem is less a shortage of food aid than it is a government that won't distribute the aid promptly. There is a current shortage, and that is being remedied, but the main problem is systemic.

Arab school is running out of room

Don't worry, once the Suicide Bombing Club gets going again there'll be plenty of desks available... Oh, sorry. This is Arab "Pronounced AY-rab" Alabama, again.

Former Officials Say Enron Hid Gains During Crisis in California

You have to love Enron. People are sweating in the dark, and they're wondering whether to stash the money in the Caymans or Switzerland... How badly run must a company be to go bankrupt after helping gouge billions of dollars out of California consumers?

Hey, guess who supports Cynthia McKinney!

Arab-American dollars shore up McKinney

A fourth of the individuals who have contributed to McKinney over the past five years, accounting for a third of the money McKinney has raised, came from people whose names "appear Arab-American or Muslim"... To be fair, she's African-American, and I expect any number of her contributors are also African-Americans who are converts to Islam or the children of converts.

More Bombs Rock Spain During EU Summit

The Basque separatists of ETA are almost quaint. Get this -- they warned the authorities before setting off their bombs! Hardly anyone has been hurt, and no one's been killed. They really need to learn what a terror campaign is about. The Palestinians are busy, but maybe the IRA could lend a hand.

Israeli arrested on suspicion of shooting dead Palestinian

Well, he wasn't dead until he was shot... This is the difference. This is why the Israelis deserve our support. If a Palestinian killed an Israeli, the only reason he'd get in trouble is for a low body count.

I like the looks of that. It's about 24,000 more hits than I ever thought I'd get. Thanks to the guy from rcn.com for putting me over the top.

The boom in Buckhead is scaring up rats

This is great! You have all these rich folks piled on top of each other trying to squeeze into the trendy community, and now they're infested with rats. One of them has a trap with a rat the size of a cat!

The problem is now they're blaming the ducks. Does that make any sense? The ducks aren't the ones in a population boom. They're just paddling along, minding their own business, and someone wants to have them destroyed? How about you people find somewhere else to live and leave the ducks alone?

First picture of secretive carnivore

A three-foot long relative of the mongoose, previously known only from a single skin, has been photographed in Tanzania. It actually kind of looks like a cat.

FBI warns police that terrorists might try to use fuel tankers against Jewish neighborhoods

I hope this is just the FBI thrashing around like usual. But it makes a lot of sense, if you're a mass-murdering terrorist. I'd keep an eye out for chemical transports, too; we seem to have enough trouble keeping those upright even without terrorists.

June 20, 2002 - Breaking Balls: Reader Testing

I just want to assure you that, unlike Baseball Prospectus, there will never be any drug testing here at War Liberal. Though maybe Google should think about it, judging from some of the hits I've gotten.

Madison may prohibit parking cars in yard

I certainly hope they allow you to take the wheels off and put the car up on cinder blocks. This is Alabama, after all. We have a reputation to maintain.

Army turns to UAH students for fresh ideas for new vehicle

The Army is letting college students design a new vehicle? That can't be good. Most college students of my experience can't design anything more sophisticated than a beer can pyramid. Sure, these are engineering students. They probably build rocket-propelled beer can pyramids.

This project, the awkwardly-named-considering-who-the-President-and-Vice-President-are "Chicken Hawk", is actually an unmanned device that flies like a helicopter but also can deploy a land vehicle. It could be used to deliver supplies to soldiers under battlefield conditions.

washingtonpost.com: Limited Smallpox Vaccine Use Eyed

Just for health care workers. The rest of us peons can just cross our fingers... Now, there are a lot of side effects from the vaccine, and the newly inoculated can be infectious. But if smallpox does get used as a terror weapon -- and a lot of experts expect it will -- a lot of people are going to die because of this. Basically (and the story more or less states this) the panel has decided that ordinary people can't make up their own minds about this and it has to be left to the government. What is this, France?

The blogroll grows (I just added Jimspot) and I really need to come up with a new system. But I lack the patience to come up with anything as cool as NZ Bear's. For now, there's just an extra bracked in the NIT.

I thought about doing the Blogathon, but frankly, I need my sleep. Anyway, all the good charities are taken, though Laurence Simon has some interesting also-rans.

Socialist millions prove tempting

Germans -- perhaps nostalgic for a time when Germany had its own money -- are going into a tunnel network south of Berlin and hauling out samples of East German currency. I think I have some Confederate money around here somewhere...

Kremlin's new Web site: Hacker-proof?

There is no such thing as a hacker-proof site. The Russians are really asking for it by publicizing that.

Israel Investigates Shooting of Three Palestinians in Jenin

You see the difference here? The Israelis say that there are indications that the military erred, they are investigating, and if someone is found to have acted wrongly, I assume he will be punished. Meanwhile, Arabs pay bonuses to the families of splodeydopes. There's no "balance" here; there is one side doing its best to remain human under frightful pressure, and the other side slaughtering civilians because they think it's better to lose one's life killing Jews than to live in peace.

Reason #3,402 to vote for Artur Davis

Sharpton begins blitz for Hilliard

Sharpton calls Davis an Uncle Tom:

The new challenge is to try and buy leadership and to have money come in and use people that look like us but that are not for us. Everybody that is our color is not our kind.

You know, it really is true, what they say: you can see the truth about a person by the company they keep... Sharpton complimented Hilliard, or tried to, by saying his position on the Middle East is "balanced". That's the problem, you see. It's a lack of understanding that there are in fact good guys and bad guys, and the bad guys include people like Hilliard's pal Moammar Qadafi. "Balance" is what leads to things like CNN's coverage of Israel, which finds it necessary to give "both sides" when one side finds the murder of children justifiable.

No sir, Yasser

An unsigned editorial in the Birmingham News... I hate it when I agree with News editorials. I feel like I need a shower.

Nursing home worker found woman covered in ants

Linda Law said she was delivering clean laundry to Lucille Devers and expected to find her still in bed in her darkened room. Instead, Devers appeared to be dancing or marching. Alarmed, Law said she turned on the light.

''It was like something out of a horror movie,'' she said. ''She was covered with ants.''

I have to agree. Dear God. Mrs. Devers -- who is 79 years old -- survived the ordeal. Not surprisingly, she moved.

The state's nursing home laws -- which aren't always strongly enforced -- mandate that homes be kept free of insects and other pests. Given that, the claim by their lawyer that they're "in the nursing home business, not the pest control business" rings hollow. Terminix, meanwhile, says fire ants are hard to control, which runs counter to the ad I remember seeing that said Terminix could solve your fire ant problem. The former administrator admits she knew there were ants in the building but didn't call an exterminator until after the attack.

Fox News Enters Israel as Turner Words Echo

I'm as upset about Turner's remarks as anyone, but I don't think adding Fox is the answer.

Poet and Peasant is the new name of "Lynn Unleashed", which you really should be reading. There's also a spiffy new look.

One out of three fourth-graders can't find their state, survey finds

When I was in second grade they gave a test. I knew where the US was, but a lot of kids identified Brazil; this seems to happen on a lot of these surveys. I finally figured out why. The map in our classroom (not the one from the survey) was about halfway between eye-level for adults and eye-level for children, and the US was over most of our heads. But right there, printed across Brazil, was the word AMERICA (from "South America") and what would you think? Especially when the actual US was always where you couldn't see it.

Anyway, I don't know that this is "news" as such. I mean, we hear this sort of thing a couple of times a year. If I don't hear it for awhile, I start to get worried that maybe the tests are so bad they're afraid to tell us.

It's the Final Reel for the VCR
DVD Movies Pushing Tapes Off Retailers' Shelves

I don't really see the big deal. Few people buy pre-recorded tapes anymore. Heck, they were never as popular as DVDs are now, thanks largely to the pricing structure. I still use my VCR for taping. Until DVD recording becomes widespread, and roughly as cheap as VHS (about $100 for a recorder, and maybe $1.50 for six hours of tape) the VCR won't go away.

'Dork' suspect arrested in bank heists

Keith Edward Johnson has been arrested under suspicion of being the "Dork Bandit". He'd rob a bank wearing thick prescription glasses and acting like, well, a dork. Sounds like fun.

Israeli Fire Kills Three in Jenin Market (washingtonpost.com)

Two of them were children. Apparently, they thought a curfew had been lifted when it had not. The Israelis generally don't kill noncombatants. It's unfortunate when it happens to anyone.

A writer, a weblog, her opinions: Yourish.com

Meryl says I'm a "must-read". Gosh. Thanks.

Now I can't think of anything to say!

U.S. Falls to Germany, Bows Out of World Cup (washingtonpost.com)

While it would have been nice to embarrass the Euros, I'm looking on the bright side. Now we can go back to not even pretending to care about soccer for another four years. Whew.

Medal of Freedom Honorees Announced

If I were a Medal of Freedom winner, I would be offended:

--Mrs. Reagan, the former first lady, saluted by the Bush White House for her continuing work against drug and alcohol abuse and her promotion of the Foster Grandparent program.

Oh, boy, the drug war. Remember "Just Say No"? That worked so well, didn't it? And remember the time she was on "Diff'rent Strokes"? But hey, Hank Aaron and Mr. Rogers, those I'm on board with. And Nelson Mandela, of course.

The Committee To Figure Out Who Fucked Up

I couldn't help laughing... But I couldn't help wondering why Jefferson was in Boston, too. That's just how my mind works.

(But there's a fine spray of water on my monitor, if it helps.)

Villagers organise donkey wedding to appease rain god

Sure, why not? When you get down to it, it's not any dumber than pretending a cracker is Jesus' flesh... Apparently, things must be tough in the Tamil Nadu. Normally, they only do a frog wedding, but a current drought called for extreme measures.

washingtonpost.com: Bush Warned to Be Speedy on Amtrak Funding

He must hurry! If Amtrak shuts down, it would be a catastrophe! In some way I'm not really clear about!

I don't see why Amtrak can't be subsidized by the government. Heck, cars are -- they aren't much good without roads, are they? But a lot of Amtrak routes not only aren't profitable, they aren't even worthwhile. Passenger train service should concentrate on the northeast, where it's practical. And who knows, some day it might even make money.

Report: Five Israeli Settlers Killed (washingtonpost.com)

And, oh yeah, this includes a mother and three children. The Israeli opressors! (According to Charles Johnson, the original of the story didn't even mention that children were killed.)

Court bans execution of retarded

Good for the court. No bonus points for guessing which three "justices" voted to keep killing retarded people.

Northpinellas: Llama attacker gets three years in prison

This guy really needs to work through his feelings about llamas; he appears to have a love/hate relationship with them, mostly hate. The details are really icky and I won't write of them.

(Via the Obscure Store, where else?)

Counterfeit $100 recovered in Reform

1. Slow news day, huh?

2. "Counterfeit" is hardly the right word. It was apparently a photocopy. If you're dumb enough to fall for that, you probably deserve to be ripped off.

Quail Fighting Popular in Afghan City

My grandfather raised quail for awhile, and let me say, they don't strike me as the most suitable bird for fighting. I mean, they can give you a decent peck, but that's about it.

State stiffens over sale of gelatin liquor

A company out of Ohio is marketing prepackaged Jell-O shots, in snack packs similar to those you'd find pudding in. They call them "Zippers", and deny categorically that they are marketing them to youngsters. The Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board had previously agreed to allow their sale in the state, but has reversed itself.

Bush Campaigns For American Fitness

The President doesn't get it; if Americans aren't fat and lazy, the terrorists have won!

ABCNEWS.com : Blood on the Water: Fish Wars

Fish Wars would probably be a better movie than Star Wars Episode I,, at any rate... You've got gangsters, international tension, and lots and lots of money.

Israel's Forces Enter Four Areas of the West Bank After Bombings

If Israel takes over land every time there's a bombing, I wonder how long there will be anywhere to bomb from. We're not talking about a huge area here. What do you want to bet the Euros (and, of course, Arabs) consider this a greater human rights abuse than blowing up a couple dozen kids?

U.S. Threatens U.N. Peacekeeping Over New Court

Not really. The US is just saying it won't participate in peacekeeping missions unless American citizens are given immunity from prosecution in the International Criminal Court. Everybody else is welcome to peacekeep all they want. There's nothing really new about the American stance, except we're clarifying that we aren't going to participate in the court and we won't put our citizens in danger from it. (As Steven den Beste has said on a couple of occasions, we probably can't participate; that sort of surrender of our sovereignity is likely unconstitutional.) Obviously, if the UN is going to go around arresting people and sending them to this court, we aren't going to put our soldiers and civilians in UN hands.

Read the story anyway, it's a nice example of high-camp Reuterian internationalism.

Candidates' debate becomes verbal fight

The two Republican candidates for Secretary of State had it out on Alabama Public Television last night. At one point, the loathsome zealot Dean Young called state Rep. Dave Thomas a liar. And Thomas basically asked Young to step outside where they could settle it like men. I love it when Republicans fight.

CNN.com - Briton killed by Saudi car bomb - June 20, 2002

The Saudis say that a series of similar blasts has nothing to do with fundamentalist terrorism but rather with a turf war between western bootleggers. And the Saudis would never lie.

At Least 7 Dead as Suicide Bombing Hits Jerusalem (washingtonpost.com)

Update... Israel has began airstrikes in Gaza, which has been pretty much left alone in all this.

Air Controllers Strike in France

It's their third strike in two years. Remember what happened to American controllers when they struck? I thought that was wrong, and still do. Well, this is the third strike by French controllers in the last two years. At this stage, a Reagan solution would be fully justified, though of course it's impossible in France. France sucks.

Billy Joel checks into substance abuse and psychiatric hospital for 'personal problem'

Maybe his personal problem is that he, personally, is Billy Joel?

If you missed the Grammys -- and who can blame you? -- the second highlight (after the performance of "Lady Marmalade" that scarred me for life) was his duet with Tony Bennett. Bennett not only far outsang Joel, he looked younger; Joel appeared to be Bennett's portlier and less talented older brother.

Anyway, when you're checking into a facility that has previously hosted Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, Liza Minnelli, and Gregg Allman, I think we all know what's up. I would wish him well but I find I don't really care.

Killing Saddam -- the Hard Way

Lileks on how we are definitely, no two ways about it, not looking to assassinate Saddam, and special forces would only fire in self-defense. Broadly defined, of course... Actually, he thinks all the leaks are attempts to destabilize Saddam. Me, I think they're for American consumption and probably originate in the State Department.

4 Hurt As Nebraska Trains Collide

Three large freight trains; a highway nearby has been shut down due to a fire started by diesel fuel. Nobody quite knows how a third train could be involved in the collision.

A Second Suicide Bomber Hits Jerusalem, Killing at Least 7

This is the bus stop bomb I referenced earlier. A religion of peace! This one was claimed by al-Aqsa Martyrs, Yasser the Weasel's gang. Yesterday's was claimed by Hamas. They're having a goddamned contest.

In one of his strongest condemnations ever, Pope John Paul II decried Tuesday's attack, saying "those who plot and plan such barbarous attacks will have to answer before God."

Well, so will rapist priests. Sorry, that's another barbarism. I'm glad to see the Vatican at least is paying attention. That's one tenth of one percent of Western Europe. The rest is still calling for this mystical peace plan we're supposed to impose.

washingtonpost.com: A Flap Over Fish Dishes

Environmental groups are increasingly pushing restaurant chefs to boycott seafood that they argue is overfished. The pleas put restaurateurs in the sometimes uncomfortable position of weighing complicated scientific arguments and making every menu something of a political statement.

I'm doing my part by not eating fish at all and sticking with beef and chicken.

It seems pretty reasonable, actually. If a fish species goes extinct, nobody will be able to eat it. And most of the chefs interviewed for this story seem to agree. But they're being asked to make judgments they'd rather not and that they're not trained to make.

Great Moments In Headline Writing

Squirrel Sex A Tough Nut To Crack

In the Salt Lake Tribune of all places!

Human Feces May Kill Coral

South Florida dumps a lot of sewage into the ocean. ("Hey, that's what it's for!") It's been known for some time that it was hurting the reefs, which in turn was harming the state's tourism and fishing industries. Oh, and the entire ecosystem of that part of the Atlantic, but who cares about that?

Anyway, it now appears that one of the causes of the decline of the reefs is actually an infectious agent from animal feces. Serratia marcescens is commonly found in the guts of animals, including, of course, humans. I'd assume we don't have any problem with it, but it causes disease in coral and in fish.

Explosion Goes Off Near Bus Stop in Jerusalem

No fatalities (of non-insane people) reported in the latest homicide bomber attack, as yet; at least 20 were injured, some critically. The area is part of the city occupied/restored in 1967, though I don't know how heavily Arab it still is. It is interesting -- and argues that the Israeli campaign is at least partially successful -- that the bombing focus has shifted to Jerusalem. It would appear that the terrorists are having trouble operating in Tel Aviv, Haifa, or anywhere Arabs aren't prevalent.

Hilliard, backers rap Davis at bridge

Earl Hilliard is pulling out all the symbolism he can muster, holding a rally at the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma and therefore tacitly comparing himself to Martin Luther King. What a jackass...

The current Hilliard line is that Artur Davis, his challenger in the runoff for the Democratic nomination in the 7th Congressional District, has been bought and paid for by "out of state interests". I won't say what interests he's talking about, but they start with "J" and rhyme with "news". Leaving aside that there were an awful lot of non-Alabamians -- including not a few rhymes-with-news -- at the Selma-to-Montgomery march, Hilliard and Davis have raised about the same amount of money, and in both cases the majority has come from out of state. In fact, more of Hilliard's came from out of state, from what the News can tell; 87 percent versus 77 percent for Davis.

State Sen. Hank Sanders, D-Selma, chairman of the Alabama New South Coalition, held the news conference near a monument to 1965 march leader Hosea Williams.

"People in New York, people in New Jersey, people in California are simply trying to buy this district," said Sanders. "That's just completely unacceptable. We worked too hard. We already paid for it. We paid for it with sweat. We paid for it with blood. We paid for it with sacrifice. So it's not going to be bought with money if we have anything to do with it at all."

I've seen that speech before. It was on Eyes on the Prize, and I think George Wallace was making it. Or Orval Faubus, Bull Connor, Lester Maddox. Someone like that. I'm sick.

NPR : All Things Considered for Wednesday, July 05, 2000 : Opossums

There. I just deep-linked. And you can't stop me, nyah-nyah-nyah! (Electrolite has pointed out that NPR is banning deep-linking without permission, which is stupid and unenforceable.)

Hot Birmingham mops up: Named 12th sweatiest in U.S.

Here's the Birmingham News' proud story... Trust me, if I still lived in Birmingham, we'd be top ten, easily. I'll get hot in the mid seventies, which is a normal March day in Alabama.

Police find kids at rural meth lab

Speaking of child endangerment... You know how it is, people are coming in from Indiana, you're setting up your meth lab to sell them some product, and you can't find a babysitter! What are you going to do? You can't leave them at home -- that would be bad parenting!

Archbishop says, 'Recidivism is not necessarily a given'

The Archbishop of Mobile is a jackass... The best way to avoid recidivism is to remove the temptation. At any rate, I'm all for forgiveness, but that doesn't mean you should keep putting children at risk. There are plenty of roles in the Church for priests other than giving them parishes.

Cat Boxing!

Well, cats would probably put up a better fight than Mike Tyson at this stage. (Via Pop Culture Junk Mail.)

At Least 18 Die in Nigeria University Attack

At least 18 people have been killed in an attack by students belonging to a secret society at a university in southeast Nigeria on a rival group, the independent newspaper Vanguard reported Wednesday.

Wow. Kind of puts the stories about hazing into perspective, doesn't it? Apparently, the secret societies of Nigerian schools are more like cults or gangs.

Old Spice ranks Atlanta 13th sweatiest in country

Birmingham is 12th, meaning we (I still consider myself to be from Birmingham) finally beat Atlanta in something.

Key Al Qaeda Members Arrested in Morocco, U.S. Says

I've got a great idea. Let's make fun of Mohammed Haydar Zammar. Nice dress, Mo!

There, I feel better.

Department of Scary Looking Headlines Describing Innocuous Things

Arab set to break ground at Wal-Mart Supercenter

Actually, there's a town in Alabama named "Arab", pronounced AY-rab, rhymes with lab. And they're building a Wal-Mart.

IOL : Return our obelisk or else, Ethiopia says

Or else what?

Mussolini hauled off a 1700-year-old religious symbol; Italy promised to return it a few years ago but didn't because of a war between Ethiopia and Eritrea. It should be returned, but I'm hard-pressed to see what actual pressure Ethiopia could put on Italy.

Woodward-o-rama!

Scholar: Rehnquist a Probable Source

Now, they're breaking down who was a source for The Brethren.

Costa Rica Log

Every so often I go to Weblogs.com and click on something at random. Sometimes I wind up somewhere boring, sometimes somewhere interesting. And sometimes it's something weird, like a blog apparently from Costa Rica but written in what appears to be Dutch.

3 Officers Wounded at Paris Disney

Four men, armed with assault rifles, robbed the American Express office at Euro Disney. The story also mentions a May 30 attack on an armored car using a rocket launcher, which would be ambitious for armed robbers even in America. Unlike some folks no doubt will, I will not comment on whether this means gun control laws don't work at all.

Pamela Anderson Gets 'Jane' Column

Leaving aside that she certainly won't actually write this, who thinks she'll even read it? Who else wonders if she can read it?

Ananova - Giant frogs force frightened residents indoors

As a rule, the phrase "Giant Frogs" usually gets my attention.

Thousands of giant frogs are plaguing residents and motorists in north Germany.

The giant bull frogs weigh up to two kilos each and were first spotted in Hanover.

That's about five pounds in non-made-up weights, I think. Still, that's pretty large for a frog. Apparently, they're American by origin and were introduced to Europe somehow; it's about time they got a taste of their own medicine over there. You have to admit the idea of Germans running away from a bunch of frogs is pretty funny; usually, it's more the reverse.

Sex, violence overwhelm TV ads

Basically, when things happen on the show, people don't pay attention to the commercials.

World's Oldest Boat Found in Desert

It would appear that the ancient inhabitants of Kuwait didn't have a very good grasp on the proper uses of boats. Fill in your own joke here... No, seriously, the area was probably on the Euphrates at the time, but the course of the river has moved.

CNN.com - Report: Bush to call for Palestinian state - June 18, 2002

Wobbly? More like a pushover. This never would have happened if Dick Cheney were alive.

NOTE: Really, I have no problem with a Palestinian state at any time. Just so long as none of it is west of the Jordan river, south of the Lebanon hills, or north of Hell.

--Stephen Green

Seems about right... Actually, Saudi Arabia is pretty much Hell, why don't their pals the House of Saud give them a piece? Oh, right, I was thinking the other Arabs actually cared about the Palestinians and not about killing Jews.

Lede of the Day

They came from all over Mobile and Baldwin counties looking for rectangular boxes, slime and dead crabs.

(Other) Minor team sports that are more intrinsically interesting than soccer

Lacrosse
Volleyball
Water Polo
Arena Football
Cricket
Oh, and Hockey.

I really don't know why lacrosse hasn't caught on. Every summer ESPN gets desperate for programming and puts on a little college lacrosse, and I always try to check it out. It's like soccer, only with sticks and with things happening.

NASCAR hooks up with Spears for new movie

Britney and stock-car racing: The two white-trash things that go white-trashier together!

The film will tell the fictional story of the daughter of a successful NASCAR team owner. The daughter uses her knowledge and experience in the family business to inspire a former NASCAR driver to regain his desire to return to racing.

Spears will not do any racing in the movie.

Or any acting.

File13's Amish Tech Support

Laurence performs a thought experiment on the latest atrocity. High school kids!

Judge refuses to dismiss Lindh charges

As well he should have... I particularly loved the defense arguments that (a) Johnny had a constitutional right to associate with the Taliban, and (b) he couldn't be tried because he was an enemy combatant. Now, let's see. He's admitting to being an enemy combatant. Isn't that tantamount to a confession of treason?

Department of "Oh, Those Wacky Yanks!"

USA through, nation nonplussed

The Beeb's attempt to look at the USA's World Cup run "in the style of an American sportswriter" is incoherent enough to be from an actual American sportswriter but is in a completely different style. Mostly, it's just the usual sneering anti-Americanism. Two nations separated by a common language. And also by the fact that our national sports aren't boring.

The Nando Times: Amy Fisher hired to write column for newspaper

Apparently the New Island Ear had a columnist slot open for a convicted felon.

Department of Things Nobody Reading This, Save Possibly Terry Oglesby, Could Possibly Care About

Light rail tunnel envisioned for Red Mountain

Terry beat me to this one, but I can't resist. This is a remarkably boneheaded plan. Birmingham doesn't need a light rail system anyway, and it's only being proposed because it would be cool. Red Mountain is a pretty pathetic mountain even by Appalachian terms, by the way. It's a moderately tall hill. They could probably go over it, or around it, or use the existing cut, but that wouldn't be as cool as a tunnel. Basically, that's why the city wants to build a dome, why the suburbs west of town built an amusement park, why, in the end, most ridiculous public projects are built. Because somebody thinks it would be cool.

Quick summary... The entire Birmingham metro area, by its broadest definition, has about a million people. Most of those don't live in Jefferson County, and a lot of them are essentially rural residents. What job growth the area has seen in recent years has largely been south or east of the city, in Hoover or on the US 280 corridor, the areas the proposed rail lines are made to take people away from. Inside the city of Birmingham, the primary business district is on the north side of town, while this tunnel will come out on the south side. There is a relatively small area, a few blocks square, in Downtown (north) Birmingham where there's enough congestion (all the city's tallest buildings are there, roughly between 4th and 8th streets and 18th and 22nd avenues) to make a train sort of viable, but there's really nowhere near there to build either the rails, nor the station unless they intend to tear up Linn Park.

Pakistan Declares It Captured 2 Americans at Afghan Border

How many of these guys are there?

I get the impression that some people in the federal government are playing a little fast and loose here. Knowing that American citizens are going to get special treatment if we hold them, they're more than happy to let the Pakistanis take them. I wonder why their existence is being revealed now.

CNN.com - New Botox benefit? No wrinkles, no headaches - June 18, 2002

A headache cure? Sign me up. I've got one of my head-in-a-vise migraines this morning... There's an American Headache Association? Wow. I picture a lot of very silent meetings.

Key Figure in Sept. 11 Plot Held in Secret Detention in Syria (washingtonpost.com)

Excuse me if I don't think the Syrians are cooperating with us out of the goodness of their hearts... Haydar Zammar claims to have recruited Mohammed Atta. Interestingly, he's a German citizen of Syrian extraction. Not many not of German heritage get to become German citizens; it argues that he's probably not your usual down-and-out al-Qaeda recruit, but someone of substance. The Germans are upset at the treatment of one of their citizens, as is their duty. He apparently couldn't be arrested in Germany, but Syria and Morocco (where he was picked up) don't have any of those pesky human rights that get in the way so often.

Suicide Bomber Hits Jerusalem Bus, Killing at Least 19

I've run out of things to say. High School Students! Yes, they're dangerous enemies.

The Islamic militant group Hamas claimed responsibility for the attack, Israel radio reported, and identified the assailant as Mohammed al-Ghoul, 22, from the Al Faraa refugee camp north of the West Bank city of Nablus.

Mohammed al-Ghoul? How... appropriate.

This actually makes a lot of sense.

Swiss, U.S. Banks Face Huge Apartheid Lawsuits

Should be interesting. Probably won't work, even if there are grounds for the suit, which I doubt. Why would banks funnel money to the apartheid regime? Sheer perversity? The diamond cartel would seem a better bet to me, but I doubt the South African government would want that.

Herald Sun: Our scientists grow human body part [18jun02]

This will make the anti-cloners' heads spin. Man, those Aussies are on a roll; teleportation, cloned organs... What's next, antigravity?

(Via someone you've probably already visited.)

Cardinal to media: You're like communist spies

Well, actually most reporters are Communists. Or at least Democrats, which is pretty much the same thing, right?* And they're trying to promote the free flow of information, something which Communist spies are well known for.

*This is an obvious joke. I am a Democrat and I am not a Communist. The Greens are Communists.**

**I stand by this statement.

(Via Romenesko, who is probably also a Commie.)

Dog-mauling verdict overturned

The involuntary manslaughter conviction was allowed to stand, but second-degree murder was tossed. I've never understood why judges let something go to trial if they're just going to overturn it.

The Nando Times: Iowa man hoping to moooove into tiny cow business

They're three feet tall and weigh 320-400 pounds. I wouldn't call that "tiny" but it's definitely smaller than most. He's hoping to market them as pets; recalling the Vietnamese potbellied pig craze, anything is possible.

The story doesn't say how he wound up with 50 dwarf cattle. Did he breed them? On purpose? How long did that take? Or does he just collect midget cows?

CNN.com - Possum G-strings raise NZ eco hopes - June 13, 2002

HAMILTON, New Zealand -- After scoring runaway sales last year with their possum fur nipple warmers, a New Zealand fur manufacturer has launched what they reckon to be the ultimate in eco-friendly furry undies -- the possum fur G-string.

No commentary really necessary. By me, anyway.

High school students in Tennessee perform Shaw play

Isn't that a bit... ambitious?

Supreme Court overturns ban on Jehovah's Witnesses door-to-door soliciting

Yeah, sure, they all live in gated communities. The good news is that with the current court, pretty soon it will be legal to shoot solicitors. Beyond that, lots of stuff to make the GOP happy.

The Other Red Meat
Saudi Arabia Importing Camels From Australia for Dining Pleasure

Who knew there weren't enough camels to eat in Saudi Arabia? But apparently so; they aren't being used for traction much anymore and I guess not enough people raise them for food. I also didn't know that there were half a million wild camels in Australia. The world is an odd place.

Ananova - Fishermen find human arm and legs inside dead shark

Meanwhile, also in Thailand, we have this. So we have a man who accidentally swallowed a fish, and a fish that presumably not accidentally swallowed a man. This concludes the Thailand/Fishing portion of our program.

Ananova - Drug cartels 'switching to lucrative trade in wildlife products'

I don't suppose Bush will declare a War on Animal Products Smuggling. A War on Wildlife seems more likely. I really want to see a commercial on the Super Bowl next year with some yuppie saying that he financed terrorism by buying black market caviar.

Ananova - Live fish forces itself into man's throat

A Thai fisherman needed throat surgery to remove the fish. He was holding it in his mouth while using his hands to rebait his hook. Let this be a lesson for all of us.

Defense Says Lindh Can't Receive Fair Trial, Seeks Dismissal (washingtonpost.com)

Oh, no. Johnny, please don't cry. Here, let me wipe your tears... WITH MY FOOT!

Yes, I'm bitter. And Johnny the Rat should be happy he wasn't put up against a wall and shot. And that later we couldn't figure out how to try him for the treason he certainly committed.

At a minimum, the trial should be transferred to the Northern District of California. Lindh grew up in Marin County, near San Francisco, Lindh's lawyers said.

"We think we have a better chance there of finding one or two dupes who hate America and will let our client off," they didn't add. But it was implied.

The Nando Times: Elton John pays tribute to victims of German school shooting

It's never officially a tragedy until Elton John is involved. The four stages of news-related trauma are:

Shock upon hearing the news.
Horror as the details come in.
Sorrow for the victims.
Nausea upon hearing Elton's latest reworking of "Candle in the Wind".

An Age of Wonders

ABCNEWS.com : Australian Scientists Make Teleporting a Reality

Of a laser beam, not matter, but still, wow. They think they'll be able to do an atom in a few years. For now, they think this could help build quantum computers. Great, another upgrade.

I love the 21st century. All my life, that was supposed to be The Future, and here I am now and it turns out that it is.

albawaba.com: Israel fears bombing attack in Haifa; Arafat slams fence construction, Condoleezza Rice

I don't think the fence will have much of an effect, really. Not under its current configuration. But Yasser doesn't like it, so that's a plus.

He also doesn't like Condi Rice. Den Beste thinks Condi should be the Secretary of State, partly because she'd freak out the Arabs. Here's an example of that. Madeleine Albright was difficult enough for them to figure out.

I notice that the photo has been stretched. To make Yasser look less obese, perhaps? Also, where is his other hand? Standing against the wall like that, it looks like he's urinating. Which is always a possibility.

Starbucks Coffee Co. Pulls Posters

D'oh!

Starbucks put out a poster that, presumably by accident, reminded people of 9-11. What with the two giant cups of tea standing side by side, the dragonfly next to one of them apparently about to crash into it, and the slogan "Collapse into Cool".

The ad on this page, at least when I call it up, is for Starbucks.

Amateur Pollgotha

Me, I like online polls. As is obvious; look to the left. Personally, I just use them as a method of making fun of people I don't like; I won't post a poll that I don't find humorous. But hey, to each his own.

The Miami Herald | 06/17/2002 | Ex-mosque leader says suspect wasn't radical in Broward

Broward County, FL -- which includes Fort Lauderdale -- seems to be America's Terror Central. Raed Awad, the former leader of the mosque Jose Padilla attended, is under federal scrutiny himself, but denies Padilla was radical when he was in Broward. I suppose "radical" is a matter of opinion, of course. Awad was the leader of a "charity" that raised money for Hamas. From a certain perspective, Hamas could be considered not radical. By Islamic Jihad, maybe.

Its current leader, Rafiq Mahdi, said the mosque does not harbor extremist views.

"Which is why I have the name of the Islamic Messiah," he didn't add...

Awad, meanwhile, is now a cell phone salesman -- in Montgomery! Two hours away from me! The highway outside my apartment complex goes directly to Montgomery. Eek.

Bush to Formalize a Defense Policy of Hitting First

I've no particular problem with this, but I'm sure the Euros will disagree. And it brings up some rather nasty constitutional problems. If the President can just launch an attack on someone and get us into a war we can't back out of, Congress' power to declare war becomes even more gutted than it already is. But I'd rather take out Saddam before he has WMD than wait until he does and either fight him then or try to live with him.

Online search engine AlltheWeb claims bigger index than Google

Ironically, I got this from Google News.

Palestinian Suicide Bomber Kills Only Himself

Well, then, everybody's happy... We've decided that "Suicide Bomber" is out, right? What do we call a guy who tries to kill others but winds up doing a solo? I suggest "Splodeydupe" but we may want to save that for Said and Chomsky.

Department of Quid Pro Quos

Justice Kennedy's Future Role Pondered (washingtonpost.com)

He's campaigning for Chief Justice when Rehnquist retires.

Bush's Popularity Isn't Aiding GOP Domestic Agenda (washingtonpost.com)

Translation: Bush isn't effectively using the rally-to-the-President effect of a war to push the hard-right social and economic agenda of the GOP, possibly because it's unpopular and will make him lose in 2004.

It was predestined...

CNN.com - Arab-American voted Presbyterian moderator - June 16, 2002

Well, that's kind of interesting, and I hope it does something to remind people of my acquaintance that "Arab" and "Muslim" are not synonyms. I work for a Presbyterian college, by the way.

Falwell Building Christian Community

Hey, if all the Falwellites decide to get together and live in their own little world, that's great. I wouldn't want to live next door ("Will you turn the damn gospel music down!") but the way I figure anything that keeps them far away from me is a plus. I don't know how someone in Virginia would feel about that, though.

Yahoo! News - 'Scooby-Doo' Snacks on $56 Million at Box Office

I have definitely slipped into some sort of parallel universe. Or maybe it is one of Xander's nightmares. It's definitely one of mine.

I only have one question for the filmmakers... If you have to have a computer-generated Scooby Doo, why doesn't it look like the one from the cartoons or a real dog?

Police question suicide in Karachi blast

This headline really gave me a start. "Wait, why are they questioning him? He isn't going to answer." Obviously, that's not what they're doing, they are wondering if it was a suicide at all.

USS Clueless - The Complete Python

Den Beste on Monty Python, two of my favorite things together. I've bought all the DVDs except for the fourth season set; there's really only one good show from that season, "Michael Ellis". I just want to reinforce his statements about Cleese and Palin together; they were something special. They'd do this wonderful sketch, and all it would be would be Cleese on one side of a desk and Palin on the other. (By the way, most of those were written by Cleese with Chapman; generally, they did the more verbal humor. My favorite is "Argument Clinic".)

As the Captain says, you couldn't do Monty Python on American network TV today, but then you couldn't have done it in the early seventies either. Python was a product of a peculiar era in British TV, when the old standards had broken down and the new hadn't yet arose. That never really happened in America, at least not to the same extent. HBO might do something like it, I guess.

Oh, and a "Discworld" reference too! Terry Pratchett is my favorite author, or at least my favorite living author.

Moody's lowers HP ratings, citing merger difficulties

Yep, the merger with Compaq was a brilliant idea. Who came up with it, Arthur Andersen?

Baptist calls Muhammad `pedophile,' stirs Muslims

I should point out that I posted on this Wednesday and the Birmingham News took until Sunday to write about it. It is a sorry, sorry newspaper... Anyway, I keep getting hits on the subject, and here's another story.

The Truth Laid Bear

I thought there was something wrong with the list in the Hall of Link Sluttage! Anyway, a glitch has been fixed and I'm up to Adorable Little Rodent. Of course, I'm giving out a lot more links than I get, but I am a generous person.

President Broadens Anti-Hussein Order (washingtonpost.com)

We're not supposed to assassinate foreign leaders. That would be wrong. Obviously, it's much better that we kill thousands of their subjects and then capture them. Then, presumably, we turn them over the Belgians. The CIA was authorized, in this instance, to use lethal force to capture Saddam. And there as absolutely no chance he might wind up dead in a firefight. Right. Oh, wait, I see, they could kill him in self-defense. I hope they carry drop pieces.

I have no problem with killing Saddam. I think we'd be a lot better served by that -- especially if we can somehow escape blame -- than by invading Iraq, for right now, anyway. I'm more upset with our acceptance of this aristocratic notion that the life of a "leader" is more important than that of ten thousand soldiers. I was upset with the Euros when they were afraid for Yasser's life a while back, for the same reason.

Bob Woodward wrote this article. However, there is no made-up dialogue.

French Socialists Surrender Parliament in Landslide

I may have to surrender my left-of-center-party card for this... But good for the French. Of course, Chirac and his party are at least as left-of-center, in American terms, as the Democrats anyway.