NBC2 News Online - Manatee deaths reach record high

83 manatees have been killed by motorboats this year. It's a new record! (Okay, they've only kept count since 1999.) The Bush administrations think that's great, of course. Why shouldn't people drive their boats at high speed through the habitats of an endangered species?

Anthony Hopkins Won't Chew the Scenery

He won't? Judging from his recent performances, I find that unlikely.

West Nile death toll up

Good thing it's nothing to be concerned about, huh?

Egregious Puns Department

Well users urged to test water

Seems to me that it's the unwell users who should be getting their water tested.

Riley goes on offensive with new ad

Yes, more negative campaigning. Actually, I don't think I've seen a positive campaign spot for Governor in a couple of months. It's all "Siegelman's a crook" and "Riley has no plan". We're all pretty clear on why we shouldn't vote for your opponent, guys. How about you tell us why we should vote for you?.

Shrimper spread disease

So here are the shrimpers going around asking for a government handout. And all the while, they're spreading tuberculosis! To dozens of people!

From an Outraged Ichthypundit

Editorial: Frankenfish / The trouble with engineered salmon

Bad enough the Minneapolis paper is bitching about GM salmon with no real reason. It's also trying to steal the Dreaded Snakehead's nickname. That's just wrong.

Sugar Hill compromise may lift ban on bunnies

A town in Georgia has a ban on rabbits. They're considered livestock, not pets. A compromise would allow up to four rabbits, but then the problem with bunnies is that no matter how many you start off with you wind up with lots.

Israel warns of Hezbollah plans to thwart U.S. strike on Iraq

Actually, Iranian plans to use Hezbollah to attack Israel, in order to disrupt an attack on Iraq. Of course, if they do Israel will smash Hezbollah. Which will probably get Syria involved... This is not promising.

From the Ichthypundit

Extent of fish fraud unknown

A fish buyer in Oakland has pled guilty to failing to report more than $300,000 in fish purchases, including some of federally regulated species. Which is a shame, because a story about a con game based around fish would be much more interesting.

Palestinians, Arab world mark two-year-old revolt

Usual Reuters crap.

Scientists Say They've Found Protein That Might Help Fight AIDS

This could be big. It could be lead to a new treatment, one better than what we have so far. But there have been so many "breakthroughs" before that never led anywhere. Let's hope.

ajc.com | Cobb | Evolution in spotlight
Cobb unanimously approves discussion of other theories

Any other theories? A mischievous teacher could have a lot of fun with this. Plus, it's hard to come up with anything dumber than the "Man made out of dirt, woman made out of a piece of bone" theory.

ITworld.com - Microsoft VPN flaw may leave intranets open to attack

Wow, a security flaw in Windows 2000 and XP. What are the odds?

Disturbing Alabamian Search Requests

Yahoo! Search Results for maids that like to have sex in huntsville alabama

Game & Fish Leaders Oppose Cruelty Law

The Arkansas Game & Fish Commission thinks animal cruelty is just dandy, thank you, and certainly shouldn't be a felony.

The Sacramento Bee -- sacbee.com -- Klamath water will be released to aid fish

The government is going to release the water to hopefully break up the fish kill in the Klamath River. Will the people who went around trumpeting the "study" saying that water levels weren't a factor and that salmon would do just fine if water was diverted apologize? I doubt it.

The Times Argus Online - Sugarmaker files lawsuit over global warming

Uh... okay. Lord knows what would happen if this comes to trial (which I doubt) but given the way courts usually approach science I'm not hopeful. The suit is against the Import/Export Bank and Overseas Private Investment Corp, and charges that the agencies aren't following the National Environmental Policy Act when they provide money to build overseas factories and refineries.

US Gave Mossaoui Classified Reports by Mistake

Is the FBI working for the terrorists? It would explain a lot.

Riley gets Army apology over depot controversy

The Army, regular readers (both of them) might recall, decided that the best way to address safety concerns at the Anniston Army Depot's chemical weapons incinerator was to mount a public relations sneak attack on Alabama's elected officials. When this leaked, it didn't go over too well. Congressman Riley got an apology from an undersecretary of the Army but wants the people responsible removed from the project.

New state abortion law faces challenge

Boy, there's a surprise. The state law requires abortion clinics to buy and distribute a pamphlet which they have to give to prospective patients, who then have to go home and wait until the next day. I don't think they have to pass a test on the contents of the pamphlet, but give the anti-abortion people time. As you might expect, there's a lawsuit to stop it.

Hyundai permit certified by EPA

The state of Michigan had objected to Alabama issuing a permit for a Hyundai plant near Montgomery. The EPA ignored them and will allow the plant to proceed. As an environmentalist, I object to the attempted use of environmental regulations to try and shore up Michigan's auto industry by killing plants built in other states.

Airline accepts RSA's offer

Yes, the Alabama teacher's pension fund now owns its own airline. US Air, to be precise. It's kind of weird, isn't it?

Vilnai: Reports suggest Def moderately injured, not killed

The Israelis had been reporting that they had gotten Mohammed Def (or Deif) in a missile attack yesterday; the Palestinians were saying he wasn't among the casualties. Looks like they were both wrong, and both right. He's hurt, but alive. The end result is an increase in Hamas activity and Hamas sympathy, with little to show for it.

Ted Turner's foundation, hit hard by investment losses, is pulling back on philanthropic donations

Unfortunately, he's still going to give money to the UN.

From the Ichthypundit

ABC7Chicago.com: DNR issues rule banning snakehead fish in Illinois

It's an emergency regulation! If they don't do something immediately, Lake Michigan will be full of snakeheads!

From the Ichthypundit

Just when I thought I was done with the Dreaded Chinese Snakehead Walking Fish, they drag me back in!

Bayside Frankenfish frenzy just a rumor: Parks Dept.

A fish was caught in "Bayside", which I think is a Queens neighborhood. (Hey, I'm from Alabama.) It was originally thought to be a snakehead, but it turns out to be a less troublesome fish from the Amazon called an arowana. It's tropical and so probably wouldn't survive long, plus it doesn't grow as large as the DCSWF.

thedesertsun.com | Flat-tailed lizard may be classified as endangered

Well, good. But I think that the attorney who described the lizard as "charismatic and endearing" probably overstates the case. It's a lizard.

City Hall clash may affect revitalization, cleanup plans

Birmingham government is a hoot. Mayor Bernard Kincaid and the City Council have been feuding since he took office four years ago. The council was used to deferring to Richard Arrington, who was the mayor forever, and Kincaid presumably expected the same deference. Didn't get it. The council has its own priorities.

Researchers Grow Teeth in Mass. Lab

Cool. Instead of dentures, you'd get real replacements grown in your mouth. As I grow older, that seems to become a bigger concern...

Rob Humenik notes that the Bush appointee to head the wildfire prevention plan doesn't believe in ecosystems. This is not a surprise, of course. It's just one more tally in the book of wilful anti-environmental idiocy.

ajc.com | News | Lili heads toward Guantanamo

That should be fun. I expect that the Euros now will accuse us of steering the storm to torture the poor prisoners.

Palestinians: At least 2 killed in missile strike in Gaza

It appears that Hamas military leader Mohammed Deif was the target of the attack on two cars in Gaza. Deif is apparently not among the dead. If the Israelis are going to use overwhelming force to carry out assassinations, they need to make sure they actually get their target.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Music | Spears warns against piracy

"Y'all don't download MP3s, now!"

Inexplicable Search Requests

Yahoo! Search Results for sony 25 inch tv i saudi arabia

Inexplicable Norwegian Search Requests

Kvasir: sioux war

Disturbing Search Requests, To Me Anyway

Google Search: beat up a liberal

Since I will never ever in a million years be the first "Mac" in a search (curse you, Steve Jobs!) I guess I'll have to settle for being the first Thomason.

Ananova - French troops rescue trapped schoolchildren

Hooray for the French. Even if they did act unilaterally.

Mubarak seeks to concentrate minds on Israel

No! I mean, it's not like the entire basis of his domestic policy wasn't based upon bashing Israel, or that he and his buddies haven't been trying to get the US to pressure Israel and leave Saddam alone.

United Press International: Saudis, Egyptians seek to spare Iraq

Spare Iraq, and spoil the plutonium rods. UPI is still in business?

Six slain at Christian charity offices in Pakistan

This isn't a Western agency, either, but native-born Pakistani Christian. Three Pakistani Christians and three Muslims were killed by a gang of terrorists. It's absolutely clear that they are not targeting Westerners, but Christians in general. And that the arrests of a cell that had allegedly been carrying out anti-Western bombings didn't solve the problem.

Number of People Living in Poverty Increases in U.S.

Before 1993: Poverty goes up.
1993-2000: Poverty goes down.
2001: Poverty goes up.

Hmm. Now, what's the difference between 1993-2000 and the periods before and after?

From the Ichthypundit

Western posse to fight minnow

This oddly headlined story is another water-rights tale. A judge in New Mexico ordered a release of "40,000 acre-feet", whatever that is, of water to the Rio Grande to protect the Rio Grande minnow, an endangered species. The federal government, of course, is against it, as is the state government. Other state governments -- including Washington and Idaho! -- joined to support New Mexico. The mayor of Albuquerque says that the water doesn't belong in the Rio Grande anyway, that it's outside water. I've no idea if he's telling the truth.

As strongly in favor of protecting endangered species as I am, I can't take water out of human beings' mouths to help fish. On the other hand, this is a future supply, held back in case of drought. It might cause water shortages in New Mexico. It might not. I probably wouldn't have ruled that way, given the facts here. Of course, I don't have all the facts, do I?

Automated News - The new Google News site, news untouched by human hands. By Jack Shafer

A very odd story by Shafer, who apparently only glanced around Google News a few times. He seemed convinced that the big news sites weren't on Google's crawler, though he later corrected this by saying he saw a Times story. (I assume the NYT, though he'd just mentioned the LAT as well.) But just using the search would have shown him that all the top sites were crawled. Sloppy, sloppy.

San Juan Expos? Atlantan trying to move team

Yes, Major League Baseball is just itching to move in on that lucrative Puerto Rican market. [ROLLS EYES] If baseball can't succeed financially in Canada, why would they even for a second consider San Juan? Baseball-crazy, yes, but also very poor. There's been talk about Mexico City in the past, but I don't think that's likely either.

Belgium says British dossier does not justify attack on Iraq

Well, that tears it. We'll never be able to invade Iraq without the Belgians. Call the military back, boys, this mission's going to be scrubbed.

CNN.com - Humans, chimps more different than thought: study - Sep. 24, 2002

Yep, there's a greater genetic difference between us and chimpanzees than previously believed. Kind of like the US, Germany, and political views, as it turns out.

Cherokee man charged with stomping pet puppy

To punish his daughter, apparently. At least he didn't stomp her to death. But what an asshole. There are too many despicable people in this world.

From the Ichthypundit

CNN.com - Snakeheads, other invaders cost billions - Sep. 24, 2002

For instance, I've spent dozens of hours in which I could have been doing something productive having fun with the Snakehead story. Not that I would have actually done anything productive. But getting rid of the DCSWF/M cost the state a lot of money, and if it had spread they probably couldn't have gotten rid of it and it would harmed the fishing industry. And aquarium guy goes free.

Ananova - Primary school pupils stone classmates over teachers' strike

You don't see a good stoning enough any more. (Even if someone does say Jehovah.) This is going on in Kenya, where there's a nationwide teachers' strike. Students who aren't supporting the strike are getting rocks thrown at them. I'd like to think that they're really in sympathy with their teachers, but if they were American kids I'd know it was because they wouldn't have regular classes.

India to deploy army in Gujarat after temple attack

I get worried by any troop deployments in that part of the world. A crackdown in Gujarat is inevitably going to involve supressing Muslims, and that's going to lead to problems with Pakistan.

Shelby officials to investigate beating claim

Not content to allow Birmingham police to have all the fun, cops in Alabaster (a major suburb south of town) have allegedly beat up a drunk driver. We'll see. It certainly wouldn't surprise me.

Site Meter - Counter and Statistics Tracker

I got a lot of hits the last day from people searching for "Bobby Keahey" or something similar. Keahey is the DA in Choctaw County who won't allow Medell Banks to go free even though the crime Banks is serving time for didn't happen. Was there a story on TV about the Banks case last night?

Japan Today Japan News - News - Arafat asks Japan for help

He didn't actually just ask Japan. He asked everybody. Google News, I think, is rotating stories from everywhere about Arafat calling the local leaders and asking them to bully Israel. This story actually says that he asked Japan to "tell" Israel to stop; how a country a third of the way around the world with a negligible military is going to boss Israel around is anyone's guess. There's only one country in the world Israel is going to listen to, and I'm in it right now.

2 Democrats in House Upbraid Armey for Remarks About Jews

Looking at the statement, it seems to me that Dick Armey was less disparaging Jews than disparaging liberals. But then I'm a liberal and I'm not Jewish. And I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than Dick Armey.

Disturbing Daniel Taylor-Related Search Requests

Google Search: DPM surgery pics

ESPN plans Spanish language sports network

I'm just upset that they aren't going to call it ESPÑol.

Disturbing Search Requests For the Ichthypundit

Google Search: buy channidae online

"Channidae" is the family that includes the Dreaded Chinese Snakehead Walking Fish. Which is illegal in most of the country now...

Sessions announces domestic violence grant

That's nice. Interesting to see that even with an enormous lead, he's still running hard and spreading the pork. But we could use the money and it's a good cause.

FOXSports.com | U.S. advances to finals at World Basketball Championship

Hey, the men may have crashed and burned, but we can still get excited about the women's team, right? Right?

Mother arraigned in video beating; lawyer says she will probably plead for mercy

I have an idea: Let's show her mercy in the same way she showed love to her daughter. It's for her own good, really. It hurts us more than it hurts her. We wouldn't do it if we didn't love her so much!

Storm Isidore Leaves Mexico a Mess

Isidore! Clean up your room!

Dead fish tied to policy flaws

It's all Bush's fault! (Another version of this story has a "Scientists blame Bush for salmon deaths" headline.)

Anyway, I remember posting a long time back, probably on the old blog, about the Klamath River situation. There was a report issued saying (basically) that there was no evidence that salmon did worse when the water levels were low than when they were high. Conservatives decided that this meant that it didn't make any difference and that water should be diverted ASAP. The report didn't say that -- rather, it said that research couldn't support water diversion causing a problem. There's quite a jump to saying that water diversion couldn't cause a problem.

That didn't stop the Bushites, who decided to give more water to farmers. This isn't a situation where it's just protecting an endangered species or a habitat. Salmon fishing is big business. I am utterly convinced that given the choice of supporting a business that relies on a healthy environment and one that will hurt the environment, the Bush Administration will always choose the latter. I think Gale Norton, in particular, hates nature.

When I have Gale's job in the Simon Administration, there will be three main changes. One will be the conversion of the Department of the Interior to an Interior Ministry along Soviet lines, including a national police force. Second will be the new policy of Conservative Environmentalism, which will encourage the use of resources but will not allow the permanent destruction of something replaceable for minimal gain.. Third will be the enforcement of laws we already have, via the means described under change one. Once a few polluters and exploiters go missing, the rest will fall in line pretty quickly.

Charlotte Observer | 09/24/2002 | Doctors say West Nile also causing polio

Well, polio-like symptoms. I'm not a doctor, nor do I play on on TV, but it seems to me that if it's not caused by the poliomyelitis virus (extinct, in the United States anyway) or even a related virus, it's not polio. But it certainly adds another reason for fear. The good news is that a West Nile vaccine might be only three years away. They got a head start because WN is related to yellow fever and they can build on the vaccine for that.

Okay, that does it. Some rat bastard isn't just sending out spam using my domain name, he's sending out a virus.

Yahoo! News - Gibson's Movie to Use Lost Languages

Mel's doing a version of the last hours of the life of Christ using dead languages. As in Latin and Aramaic. Actually, I think Aramaic is still a living language, but it's certainly not at all well. Some idiot was reporting "Arabic", which would have been wrong. And actually, I think Latin is wrong too; I'm pretty sure that the "Romans" occupying Palestine were more likely to speak Greek, but maybe I'm wrong there. Jesus and his disciples certainly used Aramaic as their everyday language, though they probably knew Greek and at least some Hebrew.

Still no Emmy, but:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Theologian of the Year

I wonder what the trophy is.

AP Wire | 09/24/2002 | U.S. sends troops to Ivory Coast

100 American schoolchildren are trapped in a rebel-held city; the troops are being sent to safeguard them. I presume they won't get involved in anything else while they're there; there are fewer than 200 of them.

Forbes.com: IMF aid needed to stop multilateral default-Argentina

It's scary. All the awful stuff that's happened to Argentina the past year, and they may not have hit bottom yet.

Gunmen Attack Hindu Temple in India, 23 Dead

Today's atrocity comes from India, where the local terrorists were sick of Hamas getting all the attention. The terrorists are still in the temple; it's not clear that they're Muslim separatists, but what do you think?

Cobb school parents turn to cable TV to push alternative to evolution

How to make public access TV even worse? Put some creationists on it.

ajc.com | Living | Why Abba is here to stay

Abba is here to stay? That can't possibly be good.

ESPN Classic - Former Steeler Webster dies at age 50

Man, this is getting depressing. Unitas two weeks ago, Bob Hayes last week, now Mike Webster.

Alligator Bites Off Arm of Fla. Man

The director of a botanical gardens was weeding a pond, then chomp. He apparently knew that the gator was in the pond; the employees there had nicknamed it. They later shot the gator and got his arm out, but it couldn't be reattached.

Disturbing German Search Requests

Google-Suche: Salafist group for Preaching and combat pics

Arkansas town worried there will be more sightings after 4 African lions killed in woods

How's that for invasive species?

Bizarre Search Requests, Ichthypundit Department

Google Search: 2002 email address of fish deport in canada

Typical. Canada won't keep out terrorist sympathizers, but it deports helpless fish.

BBC NEWS | Health | Aspirin 'protects against Alzheimer's'

Gosh. Is there anything it doesn't do?

allAfrica.com: Zim Condemns Israel's Actions

Yes, the corrupt despot who is starving his own people so he can give land to his cronies is condemning Israel. Are we sure Zimbabwe isn't part of the Arab League?

The following is part of a blogburst, a simultaneous, cross-linked posting of many blogs on a single theme. This blogburst concerns Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its spinoff series, Angel. For a guide to other Buffy/Angel articles, go to The Buffy BlogBurst Index.

Captain Euro Goes to Sunnydale

[BUFFY has gotten word that a group of demons is attempting to raise a master demon that will destroy the world. Again. She and SPIKE are on their way to stop them. They stand at the entry of an alleyway, the end of which is the demon nest.]

SPIKE: Right, Slayer, I’ve fought these demons before. What we need to do is—

BUFFY: Go in, fight, behead, go home.

SPIKE: Sounds good.

CAPTAIN EURO: Excuse me, citoyens, may I be of assistance?

SPIKE: Nice outfit. Lose a bet?

BUFFY: Who are you?

EURO: I am Captain Euro, the incarnation of the striving towards unity of all European people!

[BUFFY and SPIKE laugh.]

BUFFY: Okay, can you go incarnate somewhere else? It’s not very safe around here right now.

EURO: Because of the demons?

BUFFY: How did you -- I mean, what are you talking about?

EURO: I know that you are the Vampire Slayer, and that you are attempting to wage war against the demons whom you believe are about to destroy the world.

SPIKE: Pretty close. Luv, is there anyone left who doesn’t know you’re the Slayer?

XANDER: Who doesn’t know you’re the Slayer?

BUFFY: Xander! Why are you here?

XANDER: I figured I’d help out. You know, backup, just in case some demon makes a run for it.

SPIKE: Yeah, you wouldn’t want them to have to go very far without a snack.

XANDER: You listen, bub, I’ve been in a lot of fights and I’ve played my part. Admittedly, my part has mostly been “Man who gets knocked on his butt”, but…

EURO: Monsieur, please, this is a place for professionals.

XANDER: Cool, a superhero!

BUFFY: You’re right, this is a place for professionals. So stay here while I --

EURO: Kill them?

BUFFY: Of course!

SPIKE: Duh!

EURO: Ah, violence. So typical of the young. Instead of discussing things rationally, you demonize your adversary and then try to destroy him.

BUFFY: Demonize? You can’t demonize them, they are demons!

EURO: See! You’ve already done it!

BUFFY: This is useless.

EURO: Precisely my point. When will you understand that dialogue is the key to solving problems? Nothing is ever accomplished through violence.

XANDER: Well, they wouldn’t be able to destroy the world. I kinda think that’s a net plus.

SPIKE: Plus, it’s fun.

EURO: Ah, typical American attitudes.

SPIKE: American?

XANDER: You watch it, buddy. No putting down the U.S. of A.

EURO: And then here come the threats. Ah, so typical.

XANDER: So this is what you do, huh? You roll into town in your tights and insult people with your nose-up-in-the-air attitude? I need any insulting done, I can get it at home, I don’t need your contribution.

SPIKE: And I’ll insult him.

XANDER: Right, Spike can insult me. Lord knows, that’s the only way he ever gets to hurt anyone anymore.

SPIKE: Mate, don’t push your luck.

XANDER: Or what, you’ll have a headache at me? Bring it on, blondie.

EURO: And is this not also so typical of Americans, you can’t even have a simple conversation among yourselves without resorting to threats.

SPIKE: You call me an American again, and I’ll rip your head off even if it makes my head explode.

EURO: English, then. You’re basically the same, unable to see anything from anyone else’s perspective.

SPIKE: You’re about to cross the line, mate.

EURO: Why can’t you be more like your brethren the Irish, who are peaceful members of the world community?

SPIKE : Irish? That does it.

[SPIKE punches EURO in the face. Both fall to the ground holding their heads.]

XANDER: You know, I really like it when he hits people and his chip goes off, Buff. [He looks around.] Buff? Buffy?

[BUFFY approaches from the demons’ nest, brushing off her hands.]

BUFFY: You know, this is getting to be almost too easy.

SPIKE: Ow! Slayer, you went in without me?

BUFFY: You boys seemed to be having fun out here, I figured I’d go take care of business. I miss anything?

XANDER: Well, Spike hit the superhero guy.

BUFFY: Why?

EURO: Because he’s immature and can’t take constructive criticism!

XANDER: No, that’s me. The superhero guy said that Spike was an American, then said he should be more Irish and that did it.

BUFFY: Oh. An Angel thing.

SPIKE: It was not an Angel thing! Ow!

EURO: Mademoiselle, am I correct in thinking that you have slain the beings from the end of the alley?

BUFFY: Correct! No need to thank me, all in a day’s work for the Slayer.

EURO: Thank you! Hardly! You have just caused the deaths of those poor folk without even speaking to them first and giving them a chance to mend their ways.

BUFFY: Actually, I did speak to them first. It was a pretty good line, too, I --

EURO: Did you try to negotiate? Give them a chance to surrender?

BUFFY: Come on! They were trying to destroy the world!

EURO: Certainly, that’s what they all say. So instead of negotiating, you just attacked them.

BUFFY: Actually, they attacked me first. So I grabbed the first guy by his left nose and threw him into the second guy, and --

EURO: But they only attacked because you provoked them, correct?

BUFFY: Well, maybe. I noticed a pile of human bones in the back, maybe those people provoked them too.

EURO: Can you prove that the persons in question were actually killed by those you attacked?

BUFFY: I probably could, but what’s the point?

EURO: Is that all you can say? Instead of attempting to discuss your differences rationally, and solve them non-violently, you unilaterally took it upon yourself to destroy them. Americans!

[BUFFY picks up EURO and throws him into a dumpster.]

XANDER: You know, I don’t think he was a real superhero.

BUFFY: Really? What was your first clue?

XANDER: Well, his only power was being super-annoying, and anybody can do that.

BUFFY: You’re telling me? Speaking of which, are you coming, Spike?

SPIKE: Ow! Yeah, give me a minute!

EURO: Merde, somebody threw away some perfectly good recyclable cans! And newspapers! Is that a refrigerator? I can’t believe the Americans allow this sort of thing.

[BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER is copyright 2002 Twentieth Century Fox. CAPTAIN EURO isn’t.]

Kiryat Gat man is first West Nile fatality in Israel

Well, thank God they don't have anything going on there that might distract them from fighting it.

Background/ Sharon and Arafat: star-crossed nemeses?

Or possibly, the New New Odd Couple.

Bush administration asks appeals court to strike Oregon assisted-suicide law

Of course. Remind me again: doesn't the GOP platform come out in favor of states rights? Oh, right, that only counts when the states want to do something like make it hard to get an abortion or kick everyone off welfare or set criminals on fire.

Epilepsy drug helps prevent migraines

And helps you lose weight. Of course, there's the nausea, fatigue, and nervousness, but that's a small price to pay. Believe me, if you've never had a migraine.

Actor Nick Nolte Checks Into Drug Treatment Clinic

I certainly didn't see that coming, did you?

allAfrica.com: Commonwealth to Review Zimbabwe's Suspension

Because, as we all know, Mugabe's changed his ways. I mean, there's been so much progress there.

Arab League Calls on UN to Halt Israel Siege of Arafat HQ

Ha! That's a good one! What's the UN going to do, vote on another resolution? That'll show them! ("This is a very special resolution. It is the 5000th UN resolution against Israel!")

Okay, let's get this straight. The UN is a joke. The General Assembly has less power than a middle-school student council. And the US owns a Security Council veto. Appealing to the UN is pointless. Call Washington, and hope you get put through to someone important.

State congressmen pull in higher-ed dollars

Ah, delicious pork!

Alabama ranks third, behind much larger Florida and California, in the amount of money distributed to universities by Congressmen without normal review. Third!

Last year, U.S. Rep. Sonny Callahan, R-Mobile, predicted that Alabama would not suffer when Congress and the president attempted to reign in federal spending.

"Somebody might get hurt, but it's not going to be Alabama," Callahan said then. "We might narrow the size of the overall pie, but Alabama will just take a bigger slice."

Yes, we're basically mugging the rest of the country for education funds! We're a rogue state! There's an enormous new building going up across town at the University of Alabama. Guess who it's named after? Senator Richard Shelby! You paid for that! The entire state of Alabama is on welfare! The largest employer in Birmingham is the University of Alabama at Birmingham. The largest employer here is Tuscaloosa is the University of Alabama. I'm not sure what the largest employer in Huntsville is, but the city's main industry is federally-funded aerospace.

And we're still desperately poor. Gosh, I guess the GOP is right about welfare breeding poverty.

And crime. Give me your wallet, I'm setting up a scholarship fund.

Ananova - US Embassy house was target of Jakarta explosion - police chief

The biggest thing we have on our side is that our enemies are completely incompetent.

From the Ichthypundit

'Virgin births' puzzle shark experts

Yes, in Minneapolis, the Shark Messiahs have been born.

Weed crop abundant on Lake Erie shores

Dude!

From the Ichthypundit

Robot fish to meet myth

An engineer wants to build a robot fish to investigate a "fireball phenomenon" in the Mekong River. Oh, why not?

Guardian Unlimited | World Latest | Kofi Annan Calls for Reform at U.N.

Deck chairs. Titanic.

Davis OKs stem cell research / California is first state to encourage studies

I'm sure all of Davis' blogosphere critics will be quick to complement him for this. Right.

Anyway, good for Davis, good for California. Oh, and bad for the Bush Administration, but that's nothing new. Congressional Republicans are trying to pass laws that would criminalize the sort of research California is backing, but I don't think they'll pass.

Google News has a new look. I dunno. It looks nice, but I liked the old super-simple format.

Earthquake Shakes Central England

That's not normal, is it?

CNN.com - Saudi Arabia says Saudis detained will face Islamic law - Sep. 21, 2002

If I were convinced that they would actually be punished and not given fabulous prizes, I'd say "dandy". Hey, even Islamic extremists can have a good idea now and then. Anyway, watch the Bushites hand the Guantanamo prisoners over to their masters. We're allies, after all!

Google Search: Tom Philpot Military UpDate

Who the heck is Tom Philpot?

From the Ichthypundit

JS Online: Anglers warned not to spread white perch into Winnebago

Today's invasive species is the white perch! Some bozo caught a white perch on one side of a dam on the Fox River, then threw it "back" -- on the other side... I also learn that there are 140 invasive species in Lake Michigan. That seems like a lot to me.

From the Ichthypundit

State fish may receive endangered listing

"May". The golden trout, California's state fish, "may" get a federal endangered species listing. Fish & Wildlife is thinking about it. Considering the Bush Administration's feelings on the Endangered Species Act, I wouldn't bet on it.

Anyway, the golden trout isn't actually a species. It's a subspecies of (fittingly enough) rainbow trout. Its biggest problem at the present isn't anything people are doing but hybridization with other trout. If that's the case, and if humans aren't responsible, should we interfere in that? I mean, extinction is still a natural process even if a lot of extinctions aren't.

From the Ichthypundit

Mystery virus kills fish

There's a virus in a lake in Australia that's killing the fish. A Mystery Virus, yet! They don't know what it is and they don't have any way of stopping it, so they're going to let it run its course. No worries!

This story, for some reason, has a strict 1:1 sentence to paragraph ratio. Why is each sentence its own paragraph? No idea. But it's almost poetic.

Fish and Game wants help reducing moose incidents

Apparently there's been a big upswing in moose incidents recently. Let's all get out there and reduce them.

Well, this is in Alaska, apparently. I don't think I have any readers in Alaska. Anyway, if you are in Alaska, take down your volleyball nets and hammocks when you're not using them. Seriously. That's what the Department of Fish and Game is asking.

Yahoo! News - I'm Not Prince Harry's Dad, Says Princess Di Lover

I don't actually care. I'm only posting this to point out that both Yahoo and Google file this under "Entertainment". So they've got a firm grip on what the British monarchy is all about.

CNN.com - Bomb kills at least 15 in northern India - Sep. 22, 2002

This is really unusual, because it's not a big terrorist area. I can only assume that the separatists are moving out of Kashmir to attack targets in the rest of India, but Uttar Pradesh doesn't border Kashmir. It does border Delhi, an obvious target.

washingtonpost.com: Schroeder Wins Second Term

Beautiful.

Let's pull out. See how their economy does when they have to spend money on their own defense. Schoeder's made it clear that he doesn't like us, let's make sure he knows the feeling is mutual.

Magen David to start vaccinating employees for smallpox on Monday

Seems pretty sensible. Any Iraqi attack on Israel -- any effective one, anyway -- would certainly be biological or chemical. And Magen David Adom is the first line of defense against that. It's getting close, folks.

Arafat: I'll rein in militants, if siege ends

In other words, "Please don't kill me!" So much for being a willing martyr, huh? Maybe the baby wipes are to clean up after the Israelis make him soil himself.

Heston puzzles GOP, backs Siegelman

I'm sorry, but the conclusion is pretty obvious -- Charlton Heston has completely lost his mind. He was brought to Alabama to campaign and fundraise for the Republican party. And he did. Then he endorsed Democratic governor Don Siegelman's re-election campaign. Oops!

Isidore sits, grows while Coast waits

TV Meteorologists thrilled to think that maybe it will just brush the Yucatan, move into the northern Gulf, and smash Galveston and New Orleans!

Really Disturbing Search Requests

Google Search: military manual Killing with bare hands

Disturbing German Search Requests

Google-Suche: "longest tongue"

What's more, I'm only the 401st hit on this! Somebody went through 41 pages to get here!

Alex Frantz, the Public Nuisance, has his first thoughts on Joss Whedon's Firefly. I'm pretty much in line with him. A lot of mainstream critics hated it; I think they had trouble getting around the idea of an SF/Western cross. It made me wonder if they'd ever heard Gene Roddenberry's original Star Trek pitch: "Wagon Train to the stars."

Speaking of Whedon, Meryl has the Buffy Blogburst running on Tuesday. I'm proud to say my contribution will be particularly long and pointless.

Detroit takes on Alabama

I'd like to thank the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality. Sure, it's only supposed to look after the environment in Michigan. But they've generously given up that task to take on the thankless role of monitoring Alabama's air quality. Yes, Alabama is 1000 miles away from Michigan, but they just care that much about air quality that they filed comments with the Alabama Department of Environmental Management to try and block the construction of a Hyundai plant near Montgomery, a Hyundai plant that Michigan had previously, selflessly, tried to take upon its own overburdened air.

Hey, I'm an environmentalist. But I'm also a realist. Alabama is a poor state and we need jobs. I hope that ADEM will for once do its job and make sure that the Hyundai plant stays within the rules. And if it doesn't, that the EPA will make it. But the biggest difference here isn't that the emission standards are any different than they are in Michigan. It's that the EPA won't let Michigan grant permits on its own, probably because they're busy trying to keep auto plants from being built in other states.

Reuters Wire | 09/22/2002 | U.S. Senators Warn of Possible 'Arab-Israeli' War

As opposed to the sunshine and flowers and dancing in the streets hand in hand that have so far typified the relationship, I guess. Let's see...

Israel and Syria are already essentially at war in Lebanon; as soon as Yasser and Hamas are finished off Israel is going to look north, count on it. Non-Arab Iran is also messing around there. Iraq and Saudi Arabia, among others, are propping up the Palestinians financially. All the Arab states have pledged brotherhood with Yasser's merry gang of thugs.

So how would this war we're supposedly going to provoke by fighting Iraq differ from what's already happening?

washingtonpost.com: War Plans Target Hussein Power Base

I'm sure they do. That's pretty much the point, isn't it? But I'm also sure that the "battle plans" that are being leaked out are purposefully incomplete and misleading. There are things in there that just aren't true, and we've certainly got some surprises for them. This looks like a leak with a purpose.

Iraq rejects any new U.N. orders / Move seen as attempt to head off U.S. push for tough inspections

So much for Iraq backing down. The inspections regime won't work without full access (probably won't work anyway, but we'll let that slide) and now the UN has a choice. They can allow the US to take enforcement of the UN's resolutions into its own hands, or it can allow allow Iraq to flaunt it.

Either way, it's screwed. The UN has been exposed as powerless. It can't stop the US if the US wants to invade, but that's nothing new. But now it finds it can't even bully Iraq.

Mercury News | 09/22/2002 | 5 Palestinians killed in day of protests as Israel pounds Arafat's compound

That's what the Palestinians say, anyway. One of them (according to Israeli sources, which are far more reliable in my mind) was a 13-year-old boy whose firebomb went off prematurely. I'm sure to the Palestinians that's a peaceful protest.

And, of course, the Euros are fussing about Israel going after Yasser again. No comment necessary, since we've already been through this. Apparently with the new TV season starting the physical world is going into repeats.