AJC.com: You pick 'em

You know, most of us, at one time or another, have dreamed of being a migrant farm worker. The long hours in the hot sun, the low wages, the life on the shady side of the law... It's everyone's fantasy. But who can afford to take the time to travel to California, or the Rio Grande Valley, and learn this wonderful, backbreaking trade?

Thankfully, there are some people who can help. "Pick your own" farms have grown up in the Atlanta area, allowing people, for a modest fee, to briefly experience the sort of life Cesar Chavez told us of. Visitors can pick their own fruit and even take it home with them.

In Florida, a Bold Alligator Is a Dead One

Florida's alligators are back from the brink, though they're still federally protected. Which creates a problem, because South Florida is heavily populated and generally, people and alligators don't mix that well. People do feed them, and alligators get used to people, and eventually someone will get hurt or killed. Trappers have to capture them, and often they're killed. It stinks, but there's no other way.

Pipeline protesters are ready to party

Somebody wanted to build a pipeline from Nashville to Talladega via Huntsville. Why? That is an excellent question. I've no idea why. There are two things in Talladega, a race track (which uses a lot of gas, but only two weeks a year) and a federal prison. Anyway, they backed down in the face of local opposition.

Indian Sees Hope as Pakistan Halts Kashmir Militants

I'm finally feeling a little optimistic. Now, let's see if the infiltrations really stop, and if Musharraf can keep control if he backs off.

Great Moments in Headline Writing

Dirty tap water stirs flood of complaints

That's barely even a pun... Atlanta water is apparently coming out brown. Yuck. I get a little red clay in mine, but you don't even notice it. But if I let any volume of water evaporate, there's a noticeable residue. I'm thinking of saving it, maybe getting a kiln.

Fear With Referrer Logs

Recherche Google: crack key office xp arabic

I feel like I should call Microsoft or the Office of Homeland Security or someone.

First Liposuction, Then Lions (washingtonpost.com)

There are some things you buy in the store brand, and some things you get the name brand. Pasta is all pretty much the same, so it's OK to buy the store brand, but the sauce is nasty; get Prego or Ragu or one of those boutique brands. All canned goods are pretty terrible, but the store brand isn't usually any worse than Del Monte. Frozen foods, on the other hand, I usually go with the name brands.

And while there are some things you might want to go out of the country to get done at a discount, I don't think discount plastic surgery is a particularly good idea.

Peres: The Arabs should forget the return back of Palestinian refugees

I should point out that this is one of the moderates. The Arabs have to know this anyway, but they continue to ask for right-of-return, and their cheerleaders in the West ignore what that would mean to Israel.

CNN.com - McCartney not letting music be - June 8, 2002

I was watching VH1 -- because I am the least hip person in the world -- and I saw a new Paul McCartney video. The first thing that struck me was that he's dyed his hair. The second was that this video, which had lots of CGI effects, must have cost a lot to make, and yet it probably won't affect his sales much at all. (The music didn't strike me much at all; it's the same stuff he's been purveying for about twenty years, a blandly unoffensive love song.) Paul has all the money he'll ever need, and it keeps coming in, but he still makes music. And he must love it, because he's not going to sell a whole lot, and the critics aren't going to say much positive about it, and when he goes on concert tours all anyone wants to hear is the old stuff. But he keeps going, and I can only think that's because he loves it. And there's nothing wrong with that at all.

I just wish the music was better.

US calls Russia a market economy

That's great. Now if we could only get one of those in Western Europe...

No Hooligans at 'Middle-Class World Cup' (washingtonpost.com)

Oh, this is just pathetic. Soccer is boring enough as it is without supressing hooligans. I mean, fan violence is basically the only interesting thing about the sport, and they stop it simply out of an opposition to meaningless mayhem?

Captain America Meets Captain Euro!

[Previously, Captain America and Captain Euro agreed to travel to the Hindu Kush to capture the notorious Osama bin Laden. It isn't going that well.]

CAPTAIN EURO: So, as you can see, only unelected bureaucrats can make the appropriate decisions regarding what businesses should be allowed to do. The voters simply aren't qualified to make those decisions, and businessmen will allow their unfettered greed to overwhelm them. Really, it's in everybody's best interests.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Damn Commie.

[They see a cave.]

AMERICA: This is where the satellite picked up the unusual activity. I better go scope it out.

EURO: Non, je dois aller et parler avec lui.

AMERICA: What? Speak English, I know you can.

EURO: Stupid American, I said I will go and talk to Osama. I am sure he will see reason if we can only speak like rational men.

AMERICA: What? Are you crazy? Osama isn't rational! He's a mass-murdering terrorist!

EURO: "Terrorist" is a judgmental word, and only shows that you are fundamentally immature. It isn't your fault, of course, but surely you must see a more sophisticated approach is necessary.

[He runs off.]

AMERICA: Wait! You...

[He follows. As he catches up with Captain Euro, he sees that two Taliban fighters are preparing to shoot. Quickly, Captain America disarms the nearest with a kick, and knocks out the other with his thrown shield.]

AMERICA: Are you crazy? You have to be careful, these hills are crawling with guerrillas.

EURO: If you had not attacked them, I am certain we could have come to an understanding. Your precipitous action has doomed any chance of dialogue with these unfortunate individuals.

AMERICA: They were trying to shoot you!

EURO: They were only doing as they were conditioned by their upbringing. It is unfair to judge them by Western standards.

AMERICA: Tell you what, you can say you're sorry later, but we've got a clear approach to the cave.

EURO: Sì, lascili vanno.

[He follows Captain America toward the cave.]

AMERICA: And speak English!

EURO: Uncultured barbarian.

[As they approach the cave, they see a bearded head peek out. It is OSAMA.]

OSAMA:

AMERICA: All right, Osama. It's time you got what's coming to you.

EURO: Let me tell you, Captain America, your cowboy attitude is not making this any easier. Diplomacy requires patience and logic, not flexing your muscles.

AMERICA: There's no time for diplomacy! He's a mass murderer and I'm here to bring him to justice.

EURO: He must be talked into surrender, so he can be tried before a court appointed by the United Nations, and then sent to be rehabilitated.

AMERICA: I'm going to knock him out, hog-tie him, and take him back to New York, where they'll stick a needle in his arm.

EURO: Truly, you do not understand international affairs.

[Osama tries to sneak off. Captain America sees him, and knocks him down.]

EURO: Filthy barbarian! There is no justification for harming a suspect! He hasn't even been convicted of anything.

[He goes to help Osama, who pulls out a knife and holds it to Captain Euro's neck.]

OSAMA: Do you want me to kill him?

AMERICA: Yeah, go ahead.

EURO: Scheiße.

French Politics Finds Little Room for Women

France actually has a law that half of a party's candidates be women, but nobody is following it.

"Women are not really represented in parliaments," said Anders B. Johnsson, secretary general of the Interparliamentary Union, speaking in a telephone interview from Switzerland. "Mostly, political parties are run by men for men."

"Mostly, women are interested in fashion, cooking, parties," Johnsson didn't add. "You know, girl stuff."

Jennifer Lopez Splits With Husband

I have no comment here. I thought of several "J-Lo has a big butt!" jokes, but I think we're all tired of those. Just move along.

Bush Urges Congress to Move Quickly on Cabinet Post

Because there's nothing you need to consider carefully about creating an entirely new department with broad but underdefined powers which will potentially impact the life of everyone in the country. It's a good thing that the Founders were so careful with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, because most of the rest of the time, we've just been making it up as we went along.

This is what I've been saying!

TAPPED:

If liberals want to be a majority in this country, they need to rediscover the foreign policy of Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman, and John F. Kennedy.

They then go on to how that foreign and military policy is hardly "conservative" or "moving to the right" ala Rich Tofel. I don't always agree with Tapped, but I'm with them 100 percent -- well, at least 95 -- this time. I've written on this before and I need to keep on it, I think.

Communist government clears way for first U.S. food and agricultural trade fair in Cuba

HAVANA - (AP) -- Now that U.S. food shipments are arriving regularly in Cuba, the communist government has agreed to let an American company arrange an exposition here this fall that could whet appetites for more U.S. fruits, grains and other foods.

Well, food, generally. Or just about anything. Expired meat, moldy bread, grease trap drippings, dog food, Korean War Surplus MREs, roadkill... I wondered why our government would allow this, then I read down and remembered to follow the money:

They include several firms that have recently sold food to Cuba, such as Archer Daniels Midland Co., of Illinois, which PWN Exhibicon says will be a sponsor.

Bingo! ADM is involved, of course. ADM is always involved. If I believed in conspiracy theories, I'd check and see if Lee Harvey Oswald had connections there.

Krispy Kreme Expands to Australia

New Zealand, too. The Southern plan for world domination via delicious pastries continues apace.

Woman sues bonding firm, claims search went too far

Does anyone have a reasonable explanation of why bonding company agents are allowed to act like ATF agents in the worst nightmares of right-wing nuts? I keep hearing these stories, but nobody ever does anything to stop them. The best anyone can come up with is a Supreme Court decision from 1872. So because bounty hunters were allowed to roam wild during Reconstruction, they can break into my house and threaten to shoot me if I don't tell them where someone is? Does this make any sense to anyone?

Gay pride parade angers Orthodox Jewish leaders

You know, Ultra-Orthodox Israelis bug me, and being upset by a Gay Pride parade in Jerusalem doesn't help. Israel -- despite its religious affiliations -- is supposed to be a secular state, and I hold those who would try to keep it from being so in roughly the same regard as those like Jerry Falwell who would make the United States a theocracy.

Belgian Dockers Protest EU Reforms

Pretty simple really. The EU wants to take dockworker jobs out of union hands and allow companies to use their own personnel. And the unions are predictably upset. I'm just tickled to see that even the Belgians don't like Brussels.

Nerdvana

The two best SF shows on TV today (I don't consider Buffy SF) have their season premieres tonight on the Sci-Fi (I hate that word) Channel. Stargate SG-1 moves over from Showtime, and Farscape follows. The latter's season finale was only about a month ago, but SFC has always treated its biggest hit strangely, yanking it off the air for weeks then making it the center of attention.

Simon To Be Sued By Ditka, Trash Bag Manufacturer

I like the Gladware, actually -- it's very convenient to have something you can use to store food that's cheaper than Tupperware and more suitable than a little bag. But those commercials drive me nuts. Lawrence leaves out the part that bugs me most, that tiny woman with the little-girl shriek of a voice.

get donkey!

Rob Humenik is cheesed at the Bush Administration's attempts to pass off recommendations of the Hart-Rudman report at their own work.

People I Never Feel Bad About Making Fun Of
Vol. II

Bill Gates
Clarence Thomas
The Saud family
Robert Mueller
Tom Ridge
Richard Shelby
David E. Kelley
Ari Fleischer
The Late George Wallace
The Late Richard Nixon

'G' names in jury pool win suspect a new trial

I bet Scalia would love this. A south Florida drug dealer won a new trial because the jury pool used in his trial was made mostly of people whose last names started in "G", because of a quirk in the selection system from what I can tell. Most "G" surnames -- in Florida, anyway -- are Latin, and the defendant is African-American. The argument is that the predominance of Latin jurors violated the right to a trial by a jury of his peers.

Pak pledged 'permanent' action to end infiltration, Armitage tells India

Of course, blowing up everything in that part of the world would pretty much put a permanent stop to anybody crossing the border, but I don't think that's what he meant. Despite what I said in the post below, I think Musharraf is trying to get out of this. I just think it might be too late, and that if he backs off now he'll be killed and replaced by someone with Islamist sympathies. We weren't doing Musharraf any favors by looking the other way back when this was getting started.

TNR Online | Silent Partner

If India and Pakistan go to war, how much of the blame will be on the heads of the Bush Administration? Quite a bit, according to Lawrence Kaplan. After years of the US backing away from Pakistan and embracing India, the Administration got in bed with Musharraf soon after 9-11, as soon as it became clear we would be fighting in Afghanistan.

And that's OK! Sometimes, you need to make compromises. But the Administration (Colin the Good Cop in particular) has been too unwilling to stand up and say that Pakistan needs to control terrorists working from within its borders. I'm not one who normally thinks that our government can just waive a magic wand and get other countries to change their policies. But this thing would never have gotten this far if Musharraf had gotten slapped on the head a few months ago. Now it may be too late for us to get him to back down... Meaning it could be too late for millions of people living in the subcontinent.

Polls Show Opposition to Peace Plan

The Saudi "Peace Plan" is a joke, but the widespread opposition to it among both Israelis and Palestinians shows just how far apart the two sides are... and (to my mind) how any diplomatic solution is bound to fail at the present time.

Blount eyes Tennessee River as water source

This is kind of interesting, and not something I've seen before in this state. Blount County is something like 100 miles away from the Tennessee, and not part of the river basin. Big projects like this are familiar from the West, but not usual in this part of the country. In a couple of decades, it might be nothing remarkable.

Ridge to Testify to Congress on Homeland Security

This will be sparkling television, I'm sure... More and more it appears Bush is seriously thinking of Ridge as a cabinet secretary, when pretty much everyone else thinks he's been a dismal failure.

Chicago Tribune: Reeled In by a Spoof, Chinese Daily Shrugs Off Its Capitol Error

The Beijing Evening News fell for the Onion story about Congress threatening to leave Washington unless it got a new Capitol with a retractable dome. The paper's International News editor had this to say:

"How do you know whether or not we checked the source before we published the story?" Yu demanded in a phone interview. "How can you prove it's not correct? Is it incorrect just because you say it is?"

Nice fact-checking system they have there.

Bush, as Terror Inquiry Swirls, Seeks Cabinet Post on Security

My impressions of the speech:

"Blah blah terra. Blah blah blah financial institutions. Blah blah blah nucular. Blah blah Harry Truman. Blah blah blah Governor Ridge."

That's about alI I remember. Sorry.

A couple of random questions... Will the Secret Service continue its duties fighting counterfeiting as part of Homeland Security? And why in the world are the FBI and CIA getting out of this?

Hilliard fights for political life against Davis

Well, I hope his political life dies... Hilliard wound up with a 3000-vote spread in a race with just about 100,000 votes cast; easy enough to do the math and come up with three percent. It probably doesn't matter; most of those voters will stay home in three weeks.

Davis is challenging Hilliard to a series of debates, and Hilliard would be nuts to accept. He's not articulate at all, and Davis is a former prosectutor and would demolish him.

Critical F.B.I. Agent Tells of Need for Reform in Bureau

I'm sorry, and this is kind of mean, but doesn't Coleen Rowley kind of look like that guy from "Lone Gunmen"?

Wonder Twins Activate Again

Warner Brothers has teamed with Gaylord Films to option the movie rights to The Wonder Twins, the superhero characters from Hanna-Barbera's 1977 Saturday-morning animated series The All-New SuperFriends Hour, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

This superhero movie thing has officially gotten out of hand.

Bush to Seek Cabinet-Level Domestic Security Office

What exactly does this mean? Will the Secretary of Homeland Security (if that's the title, and a stupid one it would be) have any more authority than the Director of Homeland Security? Or (as strikes me as more likely) will this have roughly the same impact as creating the Department of Veterans' Affairs did, and continue the diminution by expansion of the cabinet, which seems headed to becoming too large for every Secretary to fit in a room smaller than Madison Square Garden? Does being "Cabinet-Level" really mean anything anymore?

German Politician Forced Out Over Remarks Offensive to Jews

Wow, a German anti-Semite. Never seen one of those before! Syrian-born politician Jamal Karsli, already asked to leave the Green Party, has been kicked out of the Free Democrats as well. He's strictly a sacrifical lamb; the party leader was trying to protect his deputy, Jürgen Möllemann, who is just as offensive. But since most people get a little nervous when Germans start talking about "the influence of the Zionist lobby" in the media, Karsli had to go anyway.

U.S. envoy says Pakistani president assured him he wants to avoid war with India

I'm certain that this is true. Musharraf probably knows that Pakistan might not survive a war, and that he himself almost certainly won't. But on the other hand, he hasn't shown himself willing to pay the price -- a real, honest-to-God crackdown on terror -- to avoid war. That's how wars usually start, as far as I can tell. It's not that anyone really wants to fight, but they aren't willing to put a stop to the events that will lead to war. Heck, just think of Vietnam. Every single action that we took there was rational. It was only when you take a step back and look at all of them together that the insanity of the whole becomes clear.

Dee Dee Ramone Found Dead in L.A.

Oh, man. This is only 14 months after Joey died, and three after the Ramones were inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. It appears to have been an overdose.

Gosh, where else can things go to hell? Let me check... Oh, Indonesia.

Bomb on Indonesian Bus Kills Four (washingtonpost.com)

This is in a region of Indonesia where a peace agreement had been in place since December, but things have been going haywire for awhile.

Fun with Referrer Logs

Someone likes hockey even less than me.

The Nando Times: NATO considers reform to better target terrorism

I don't see how they can. All I can think of is the Canadian program of having small but elite forces that can work in concert with the American or British military, because those are the only countries in NATO who can project force any distance. If it's not that, they need to greatly increase military spending, and I don't know that that's politically possible. As it is, it's more important that we work with civilian law enforcement in Europe, because unlike European militaries, their police and intelligence services can really be a help rather than a hindrance.

Scandal hits Minute Maid Park.

SportingNews.com - Soccer : Saudi team proud after loss to Cameroon, despite early World Cup exit

Look who's already been eliminated. Soccer may be incredibly boring, but anything that humiliates the French and the Saudis must have some upside.

Insider Women With Outsider Values

Anita Hill -- who knows a little about not being listened to -- writes on Coleen Rowley. It's a little overwrought, but I think she's entitled.

F.B.I. Chief Tells Congress His Agency Needs More Resources

What's he going to say? "The FBI is an utter failure. You should probably break it up for parts." Maybe, "No, we have just the right amount of resources, it's just that we're too incompetent to figure out how to use them." The latter has the advantage of possibly being true, as well as a refreshing change, but could never happen in this dimension. The simple rule is that everyone always needs more money.

If an agency fails, it needs more resources so it won't fail again. If it succeeds, it needs more resources so it can build on its success and go on to bigger things. If it accidentally releases toxic gas that blinds half of Florida, it needs more resources so it won't blind the other half.

Hey, I'm a liberal. I'm not saying that no government agencies are short of staff or funds. I'm not saying that the FBI isn't possibly one of those agencies. But what it looks like to me is Mueller going before Congress with his hand out after the FBI's miserable failure, and using 9-11 to build his little empire. Oh, and save his job.

Update: Instapundit is on the FBI's case as well, though if you're reading this you probably already saw that.

WSJ.com - Business Focus

Viacom has passed AOL-TW to become the world's largest media company. While AOL (and Vivendi, and Disney) have been going down, Viacom has been trending up.

Your Source For All News Krispy Kreme

The Kreme's latest franchise holder: Hank Aaron. His company is called "755 Doughnut Corp."

I should point out to anyone who hasn't seen it already, but H.D. Miller's Travelling Shoes is Soccer-bashing central. His main point -- which I agree with 100 percent -- is that the only reason Europeans like soccer is that they have no concept of what's actually entertaining.

Match Report: France 0 - 0 Uruguay
France still looking for first goal

Uruguay? Anyway, France ties on the ultimate soccer score, 0-0, and they're likely to be eliminated in the first round. Life is good.

A Defiant Arafat Emerges From Compound After Israeli Attack

What are they doing? Take him down, already. What's the point of surrounding him, shooting a bodyguard, and then pulling back?

Stretching the definition of "news"

CNN.com - Flaw reported in IE browser - June 5, 2002

What he said.

Israeli Forces Surround Arafat’s Office, Witnesses Say

Time to take out the garbage.

R&B Star R. Kelly Indicted on Child Pornography

I had a stupid joke here about P-Diddy, but I've deleted it. I have a more serious point; this is not the first time I've made it but it's something I find the need to harp on.

Robert Kelly is accused of statutory rape. There is allegedly a videotape of him having sex with a "minor"; no word on what her age was. At any event, why is it the child pornography which the media finds it necessary to harp on? I am not discounting the seriousness of it. However, a sexual assault on a child is far more serious, infinitely more serious. And I am outraged that the Times finds the lesser offense more newsworthy.

End of rant.

It's a joke now, but it's inevitable

The Onion previews Cola-flavored Sprite.

Live from Palestine

Well, here's a nice stinking load of crap I haven't seen before...

Nader urges NBA to review officiating

A lot of people have been ragging on Nader for this. Ignoring that he's a consumer advocate before he's a politician, this is still an issue people care deeply about. Global warming, NAFTA? These are loser issues. Bad officiating, now, that's a winner.

Alabama's Hilliard Forced Into Runoff (washingtonpost.com)

Notice I had to go all the way to DC to get a final count; this is because al.com doesn't update during the day. Someone should probably have a talk with them... The final results were very close; Hilliard's margin over Davis was about one percent of the vote, 1150 votes. Hilliard's 45 percent overall was well short of the 50 percent plus one needed to avoid a runoff. If everyone who voted in the primary voted in the runoff, I'd be confident in a Davis victory. But in a runoff, with no gubernatorial vote, turnout will be way down and the result will depend on who gets out his supporters.

So, if the Pakistanis don't think a joint effort with the Indians will work, and if the UN isn't of any use, guess who they're talking about walking the Kashmir beat now?

You guessed it.

US-British force could be sent to defuse tensions in Kashmir

[SIGH.] It might be just a little politically messy to put American troops in the line of nuclear fire, especially when we wouldn't have control of either sides' missiles. And I don't believe 500 soldiers will make a whit of difference... If America is so awful, why do we have to straighten out everyone's messes?

After Latest Bombing, Israelis Want Arafat Stripped of Powers

The implication is that Israel was just fine and dandy with Arafat exercising control before the latest atrocity; this is obviously not true. But I don't know if it's been an official government position that Arafat's removal (to a ceremonial position, or to one in a different country or sphere of existence) was necessary... The best part of the story is the Palestinian Authority's denial that it knew of the attack in advance. This is important because normally they don't deny knowledge. The way I see it, this is a tacit admission that Arafat, or his underlings, usually do know about homicide bombings in advance, but that this one came as a surprise.

You first.

(Via The Hit King.)

USATODAY.com - Magic, Brown lead Hall parade

Magic Johnson and Larry Brown have been elected to the basketball Hall of Fame. James Worthy still hasn't, which is just inexplicable. Drazen Petrovic (elected today) is a Hall of Famer, but Worthy isn't?

Justice Department Proposes New Visa Regulations (washingtonpost.com)

The Justice Department this afternoon proposed a regulation requiring a new "special registration" of thousands of people visiting the United States from Syria, Iran, Iraq, Libya and Sudan.

Johnny-boy, are you forgetting a country? You know, one where most of the 9-11 hijackers were from, as is Osama? Rhymes with "Maudi Marabia"? Or the country where the man who actually planned the attack was from, rhymes with "You Wait"? Or the one where Zacarias Moussaoui was actually a citizen, rhymes with "France"?

News: Microsoft must find a home for Mira

This is great. Microsoft's "Mira" portable wireless flat panel display was designed for home users. But it doesn't work on the consumer version of XP! Don't these people talk to each other?

People I Never Feel Bad About Making Fun Of
Vol. I

Yasser
Antonin Scalia
Nancy Reagan
Rupert Murdoch
The French
Former Alabama Governor Fob James
Former Alabama football coach Mike DuBose
John "Johnny Justice" Ashcroft
Pat Buchanan
The Los Angeles Dodgers
John Rocker

More to come...

I've been given a full text of Salon's hatchet job on Media Whores Online. Atrios has already pretty much deconstructed it (scroll up for more on the story) but a couple of things struck me. One is that a few months ago, MWO actually passed the hat for Salon; they mounted a campaign for MWO readers to subscribe to Salon's Premium service. In exchange, Salon runs a Premium article attacking MWO. Life is funny sometimes.

The other is, and this is hardly original with me, that the MWO template is based upon numerous right-wing sites; they simply apply the methods of the Freepers on behalf of the other side. MWO is positively tame compared to the attack sites of the right; they've certainly never claimed that GW Bush is a murderer, rapist, and drug dealer, which were staples of the anti-Clintonites. (Still are. Guy's been out of office a year and a half, and they still can't let it go. Frankly, I think those people need professional help. The President shouldn't be that big a part of anyone's life except maybe the First Lady.

Laurence Simon has seen the future, and it involves the Houston Astros losing in the playoffs. Again. Also, orange juice.

washingtonpost.com: Lawsuits Accuse 4 Airlines of Bias

So let me get this straight. The security people aren't allowed to profile people, under any circumstances, to see if they might be carrying weapons. Meanwhile, the airlines have taken it upon themselves to throw people off of planes because of the level of melanin in their skins. If somebody --passenger or crew -- says they're afraid because you look like a terrorist, off you go.

ESPN.com: MLB - The interview: Malcolm Gladwell

Gladwell may know his stuff about "why change so often happens as quickly and unexpectedly as it does", but when it comes to baseball, at least as a business, he's obviously clueless. He's fallen for the bizarre bad-mouthing-the-game that is the owners' line hook, line, and sinker. He says he now "loathes" baseball because most teams can't win the World Series. He then compares this to the NBA and NFL.

As for the NFL, it's true that any franchise can win pretty quickly, but only at (to me) an unacceptable cost to the integrity of the game. It is impossible to keep a good NFL team together for more than a couple of years, and that's why anyone can win. Player movement is good for sports, but not excessive player movement. As for the NBA, I will point out that the Lakers are about to win their third-straight NBA title, and they're going to beat a New York area team to do it. Before that, the league was dominated by Chicago, and before that it was the Lakers again. Not exactly small markets.

Baseball's defending world champions are the Arizona Diamondbacks, who beat the supposedly-invulnerable Yankees. In fact, other than the Yankees, the dominant teams of the current era are all from second-tier cities: Atlanta, Cleveland, Seattle, Oakland, San Francisco. The World Series winners -- other than the Yankees -- of the nineties were based in Minneapolis, Toronto (twice), Atlanta, and Miami. The other richest teams in the majors, after the Yankees, are the Dodgers -- who haven't won a playoff series since 1988 -- and the Cubs -- who of course haven't won the pennant since 1945. The Dodgers are in first place (tied with Arizona right now) the year after they jettisoned high-priced talent; the Cubs imported talent and are eleven games out in fifth place; the only team with a worse record in the National League is the Commissioner's Own Milwaukee Brewers.

Baseball doesn't have a competitive balance problem. It has, perhaps, a Yankee problem, but blowing up the whole system (at the cost of probably another World Series and several hundred million dollars) would be foolhardy. I think sharing some of the local television revenues would be a good idea -- after all, the Yankees don't get all that money if no one will play them -- but the salary cap would be a bad idea and wouldn't really solve the problems of "small market teams". Teams like Montreal and Milwaukee already have payrolls far below any reasonable cap.

Pakistan Rejects India Proposal for Joint Patrols (washingtonpost.com)

Meanwhile, the end of the world proceeds apace... Basically, India wants the two sides to monitor the border (so it knows who to blame if militants get through?) while Pakistan wants a neutral party, probably the UN. Personally, I wouldn't trust the UN to monitor a high school cafeteria, and I don't think India will go for that. While this was going on, "armored vehicles" (Tanks? APCs? What?) were exchanging fire across the border, a first in the current conflict. There have been infantry exchanges, but not armor.

Biggest Nerd In History of Internet Found

Google Search: renaissance faire busty pictures

Suicide Bomber Kills 16 Passengers on Bus (washingtonpost.com)

A car bomb, this time, which takes me back. Moreover, it was from Islamic Jihad, which I didn't know was still in business. Obviously, a bus full of civilians is a legitimate military target, right?

Israel is making noises about going after Arafat again. This time, they need to remove him -- hopefully, by removing his head from his neck, but I'll settle for exile. Arafat probably wasn't directly responsible this time, but it matters little; he didn't or couldn't stop it. Either way, he's of no use.

American dream
U.S. holds on to upset Portugal 3-2 at World Cup

I would just like to take a moment here to talk smack to the Portuguese. I don't actually have anything against them, and I would much prefer the US had beaten France or Italy, but here goes:

Hey, Portugal! Guess what! We're so big and so bad, we can send over a bunch of fourth-class athletes to play a sport nobody in America really cares about -- because it is about as exciting as watching paint dry -- but is your national sport, and still kick your sorry, neutral-in-World-War-II, really-speaking-a-Spanish-dialect asses!

America woke up Wednesday to one of its greatest soccer wins.

Then hit the snooze alarm, went back to sleep, woke up again ten minutes later and checked on the baseball scores.

Hilliard stays ahead of Davis

No word yet, but it appears headed to a runoff. One way to look at it is that Hilliard did get the most votes, so should prevail. The other way is that Hilliard, as the incumbent, is the guy people were really voting about, and the majority didn't want him back. We'll see which way it goes. The vote will be June 25.

nbc13.com - Decision 2002

It looks like Least-Objectionable-Republican Bob Riley is going to win the nomination without a runoff. He's at over 70 percent, and even with less than a quarter of the ballots counted, he should wind up with better than 50 percent. Steve Windom, the Lieutenant Governor, was the main challenger and he is on TV conceding. He'll face the current Governor Don Siegelman in the general election, and I will probably vote for the Libertarian because I won't vote for a Republican but I kind of hope he wins. We'll see how the general election goes.

Earl Hilliard has a sizeable lead over Artur Davis, but it's early. Unfortunately, it appears Twinkle Andress won't make the runoff for Treasurer.

Punctuated Equilibrium?

Evolution doesn't normally work this fast, but I'm now a "Slithering Reptile".

Mercury News | 06/04/2002 | Counterterrorism official points finger at Kuwaiti as mastermind of Sept. 11 attacks

My first reaction: "Yeah, the Saudis probably fingered him to take the pressure off themselves." Not that it's surprising that our friends the Kuwaitis would have such a sterling representative to go with all the ones from Saudiland.

The Nando Times: Arafat offers 'worthless' security changes, Israel claims

This marks the 100,000th use of the word "worthless" in the context of Yasser Arafat. This makes it the fifth-most used word in that context, after "Violent", "Terrorist", "Bug-eyed", and, most of all, "Self-preservation".

Arafat is, of course, mostly interested in self-preservation. And that's why he has (even after this "reform") six security branches. If he only had one or two, it would be too easy for a security chief to take his place. Six seems just about right. Take a look at the FBI and CIA to see how well multiple enforcement agencies (I won't use "law" in the context of Yasser the Weasel's attempted state) work together.

The Nando Times: Estimated million fans congratulate Queen Elizabeth II during Golden Jubilee

She has fans? I mean, I'll admit that I don't get the whole concept of monarchy, which seems to boil down to "I'm better than you because of who my parents were." Then, I'm a Democrat, in all senses of the word. But fans? That seems to imply that someone actually does something. I have enough problems with the idea that people like N'Sync have fans, but at least they're performers. The Queen just sort of is.

No Comment Necessary

Barons say steroids not a factor here

Barons take `old-fashion whipping'

Auburn raises tuition by 12%

Yeah, it's a recession, but classrooms suitable for farm animals don't come cheap.

[Note for Yankees and other Foreigners: Auburn is, historically, an Ag School. Bear Bryant used to call it "That Cow College". I am only posting this to get Terry Oglesby's goat, so to speak.]

CNN.com - Pakistani, Indian leaders agree to talks in Russia - June 4, 2002

Whew. Russia really is the better choice for this, not the US (or China!). Russia is traditionally friendly with India and unfriendly to Pakistan. Since Pakistan is the party begging for peace, it's probably better than someone likely to be sympathetic to India negotiate; that way, India will less likely feel it's being abused. Musharraf, meanwhile, is looking for any way out; hopefully the Russians can provide one.

PFLP slams Palestinian cabinet for refusing to release Sa'adat

I have to cheer the decision to not release the leader of the People's Front for the Liberation of Palestine. But (a) this is yet another illustration of how Arafat's Palestine is an autocracy, not in any sense a modern state, and (b) he's only doing it so the Israelis don't go after him again. Still, anybody can get something right every so often. They call it the stopped-clock-method.

IHT: Leaders of India, Pakistan blame each other for crisis in angry statements

Apparently, my "dialogue" gave them too much credit. They're moving into "It's his fault!"/"No, it's his fault!" territory. If they were two children, their father would have turned the car around by now.

Bishops' Committee Urges Crackdown on Sexually Abusive Priests (washingtonpost.com)

American bishops, this time. I doubt that the College of Cardinals would agree with a proposal that sex abusers should be defrocked. I don't think many critics think that past misbehavior -- if it was only one (known) time -- should lead to (basically) probation, though they'd agree with the dismissal of future violators.

I think they should keep their clothes on, I don't care if they're frocks or not.

Advantages to voting Democratic in Northport, Alabama:

-- No worry about running out of ballots.

-- No worry about having to vote on any of those "downballot" local races, like United States Congress, because nobody will run for those offices as a Democrat anymore.

-- A wide variety of dirty looks from "neutral" pollworkers, who will also helpfully record your ballot for you if you're in a hurry.

-- Candidates with comical nicknames like "Choo-Choo" and "Rodeo Clown". (I am not making these nicknames up.)

I actually considered voting Republican this once, so as to vote for Bob Riley (on the "Least Objectionable Republican" principle), and for Twinkle Andress (on the "Vote for Anyone Who Sounds Like a Porn Star" principle). I decided against it because in the end, I'm not a Republican. Also, they send out a lot of junk mail to anyone who votes in their primary. Which reminds me of another advantage:

-- We don't have enough money to bury you in fourth-class mail anymore.

weather.com - Local Weather - Northport, AL (35473)

According to this, it's 95 degress (but feels like 103). According to my car thermometer, it's 100, dropping from 101. What it is, is damned hot.

Hi, I'm back.

I was going to parody the Arabic "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire", but decided I couldn't do it justice. But Lawrence Simon could. Shame he's going to hell.

One Happy Amoeba

Just checking in, and I see I got the long-desired Instapundit permalink. Ten hits from there in about an hour and a half. And I'm about to go to 20K on the hit counter. Big day. I only wish I were here to see it... See you later, hope the world doesn't blow up in the next few hours.

Nothing from me this morning; even for us one-celled organisms, real life sometimes intrudes. I should have something late this afternoon.

Choose your own U2 song title for this picture:



1) Bad
2) All I Want Is You
3) Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of
4) Desire

And so on.

(Via Get Donkey.)

UPDATE: Charles Austin has a good one: "Where the Suits Have No Shame"

CSICOP Hoax Watch

CSICOP has a page dedicated to the various mystical garbage that sprung up around 9-11. The latest update shreds L'Effroyable Imposture, the steaming pile of dung which lately stank up the French bestseller list with its claims that the Pentagon attack was a hoax.

I have a question. If you can go to jail in France for selling Nazi memorabilia, why not for this sort of lying idiocy? Instead, this guy gets rewarded with a bestseller. I'm not saying that he should go to jail -- he should not -- but that the French have a very odd attitude towards acceptable and unacceptable speech.

Arab TV's 'Millionaire' is political

One of the catchphrases is "Greetings to our steadfast people in Palestine". No, I'm not kidding. Nor am I kidding about the special "Martyr's Mothers" episode, where the women in question donated their winnings to "charities". Nor about how the show is on a Saud-owned TV station.

High Court Denies Texas Death Appeal (washingtonpost.com)

Actually, they declined to hear it, thereby sparing Lord High Executioner Nino the need to justify voting to execute a man whose lawyer slept through a trial.

Why Pakistan might turn to nukes | csmonitor.com

What it comes down to is that Pakistan might not be able to head off an Indian invasion or airstrikes without them. I don't think either side really wants to use them -- other than a few zealots -- but at the same time they haven't tried nearly hard enough to avoid a war that would likely go nuclear.

Great Moments in Obvious Puns

Chris Rock Script Takes a Crack At Marion Barry (washingtonpost.com)

Oooh, this could be good. Produced by Chris Rock, starring Jamie Foxx, and Barry is already claiming it's inaccurate and "outrageous".

I suck

That's according to N.Z. Bear, whose new objective list of bloggers (by the number of incoming links) has me as an "insignificant microbe", albeit near the top of the range. I'm like an amoeba, I suppose, as opposed to the bacteria down at the bottom. And everyone is getting an Instapundit link but me, by the way. I'd jump off the roof but it's only two stories and anyway there are workers up there who might stop me.

(The above is obviously not meant to be taken seriously, I'm not really suicidal.)

You've Got Ethnic Cleansing!

Testimony: Milosevic Got Atrocity Reports by E - Mail

Also by "post" (I'd guess they mean snail mail, this is Reuters) and fax. But especially email; they even include his address in the story, though there's a plus sign in place of the @ for some reason. That's just weird somehow. It's like having Hitler's private phone number.

You know, next time someone tries to commit genocide, they're going to have a blog. It's inevitable.

Congratulation to H. D. Miller of Travelling Shoes who has been offered a book contract. He's looking for a reputable agent; anyone out there who can help?

Not the Britney Spears Story

Just came across a book in the collection, published in 1934, entitled Music Ho!. Really. Look it up yourself. (I'd do a link to the record but I can never get those to work.)

'This Week' to go with solo Stephanopoulos

Let's just say that this won't do anything to quiet the claims of media bias. At the same time, Snuffleupagus is too ineffectual to actually help the Democrats any. Worst of both worlds.

Your Blair's Law Moment of the Day

What Price the American Empire?

Pat Buchanan asks why we hate us, and decides they hate us for the same reasons he does. This guy got over twenty percent in Republican primaries, you know.

Palestinian Court Orders Release of Top Militant Wanted by Israel

Yeah, the Palestinians are interested in peace. That's why they're releasing a known terrorist and head of a group that killed an Israeli cabinet minister.

The three-judge court said there was no evidence linking Mr. Saadat to the assassination.

You know, other than that he's the head of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (splitters!) and that the PFLP claimed responsibility for the assassination.

Teen-ager recovering from surgery after shark attack off Florida island

This is probably the biggest non-story of the day unless Liza Minelli does something. Some kid (from Birmingham, by the way) gets nipped in the foot by a three-foot long shark and the papers start pretending it's Jaws.

CIA Failed To Share Intelligence On Hijacker (washingtonpost.com)

According to a "senior administration official," and if that official isn't Ashcroft or Mueller, I'll eat my hat. It should be noted that blocking this one guy would not have made any difference. Khalid Almihdhar was not a ringleader of the attack. Better to have let him in and followed him, but then the FBI didn't know about him, did they?

Up All Night, at a Fever Pitch (washingtonpost.com)

Great Moments in Link Writing

Someone at washingtonpost.com is being a little snarky, I think:

Pitched Fight -- to Stay Awake
At Va. bar, catnaps and coffeepots keep soccer fans going at all hours.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who finds it hard to stay awake watching soccer.

Fear with referrer logs

Right there, at the top of the sheet, is this address:

acheson-a2.state.gov

Someone at the State Department is reading this? Reading more than one, since they came from Roll Your Own? Oh dear.

Islam means "peace". Fun means "Kill Jews".

Muslim children 'kill' Israelis on UK-made 'Islamic Fun' CD

Lot of people have already commented on this. But man, you can't make this sort of thing up. Can you imagine what the Eurauthorities would do if a Jew was selling a game in which the object was to kill all the Muslims you could? They'd go ballistic. But of course, that would never happen, except in the fevered dreams of the anti-Semites.

Not that it should be illegal -- or would be in a truly free country, of which it increasingly appears this is the only one.

Officials Push for Mideast Summit (washingtonpost.com)

Either they're trying to get the Israelis and Palestinians to talk, or they're climbing Mt. Sinai. Let me check... Yes, it's the former. The latter would probably do just about as much good.

Putin tries to broker talks to stave off nuclear threat

Pooty-Poot to the rescue!

Joshua Micah Marshall asks -- or rather, answers someone who asks -- why nobody makes fun of Larry King. Which is weird, because I make fun of Larry King all the time. So do a lot of people I know. I think Josh has been inside the Beltway too long.

Yahoo Faces Trial in France

Free speech? Who needs it! Not the French, who are putting Yahoo on trial for selling Nazi memorabilia. Timothy Koogle would face up to five years in prison if found guilty, not that he's going to actually serve that, I'm sure. He'll just stay out of France. The French continue to amaze. The simplest of human rights seem to mean nothing to them.

USAF Parts Turn Up on EBay

Not as bad as it sounds; the parts were marked for destruction, but somebody decided to sell them instead, I guess. They're described as "sensitive communications equipment," though; I expect they were obsolete but would be worth a lot to the right country. Iran, for example. Newsweek "pointed out that rogue nations such as Iran routinely seek replacement parts for their U.S.-manufactured military planes. "

Max Power can be streaky, and he's on fire this weekend. He's been doing a great job on the creationists all week, and he's still at it. And he demolishes a ridiculous Slate article that argues that Jose Canseco belongs in the Hall of Fame because he was better than Mark McGwire. I was going to rip it myself, but Max does everything I could and more. I think Canseco does belong in the Hall, but his best wasn't as good as McGwire's best, and his career was far less impressive. Jose is a borderline case; McGwire is a no-brainer.

Musharraf Suggests Russian Mediation

That's interesting. Soviet Russia, at least, was tight with India and unfriendly with Pakistan. While India I think is still willing to go to war, from the events of the last 24 hours (the apparent "back down" order to the terrorists, for example) it really looks like Musharraf is trying to find a way out. Hopefully it won't be too late.

Kashmir infiltrations halted, say terrorists - [2/06/2002] - Hindustantimes.com

And if you can't trust a terrorist, who can you trust?

Massachusetts Democrats Endorse O'Brien (washingtonpost.com)

Hey, does the election go to a run-off if nobody gets fifty percent? Because in a five-way race, I'd think that's pretty likely.

Reich, who did not enter the race until December and had little institutional support, has a celebrity stature that none of the others can match.

Hee, stature. Make your own short joke.

BBC News | SOUTH ASIA | Pakistan bus crash kills 40

Pakistan and India, always competing. India has a couple of massive bus accidents, and Pakistan just has to join in. Really, what is going on over there? Do they even license bus drivers?

U.S. told to get ready for another attack

Actually, al-Qaeda is being very polite here. Not only are they warning about their upcoming attack, they're even giving friendly advice: "So beware, America. Get ready. Get prepared. Put on the safety belt."

Bruce Hill notes that former New Zealand PM David "Dan Quayle Is Trying To Kill Me!" Lange is taking a vacation in India. Now. Bruce calls the possibility of Lange being vaporized "One possible upside to a nuclear war".

BBC News | SOUTH ASIA | India stands firm on Kashmir dialogue

Ah, dialogue. My favorite!

INDIA: Gimme, it's mine!

PAKISTAN: No, it's mine!

USA: What are you two fighting about?

IN: Kashmir, it's mine and Pakistan won't leave it alone!

PK: No, it's mine and India won't give it back!

US: Now, now, why can't you two share?

IN: No, it's mine! Oops!

PK: We broke it.

Fun with referrer logs

Yahoo! Search Results for busty arabs

The snake eats its own tail. I write about people searching for arab women with large breasts, and now I'm the #1 hit for "busty arabs" as two different searchers found out. And this entry will only reinforce that. I'm shameless.

Key Palestinian Security Posts Becoming Harder to Fill

Apparently, nobody wants the jobs because they're afraid they'll be seen as doing the Israelis' bidding. Well, there's always Joe Friday Abdul-Mohammed.

India-Pakistan Won't Talk at Summit (washingtonpost.com)

Well, that's just great. Honestly, India is acting like it wants a war. That's fairly sensible when you have the stronger military and have been victimized. But they have to realize what a war could mean; potentially tens of millions of casualties in a nuclear exchange, and all of Indian progress from the last couple of decades lost.