Treekilling update

Shrubs to supplant felled trees

The state DOT is planning to go ahead with its mass felling of trees in the medians and on the sides of roads. Nobody really knows why; the story about how these trees (which are really quite small) are hazards to cars that hit them doesn't hold water. Anyway, they're going to replace them with crape myrtle shrubs.

Or doing anything at all, really

Former Auburn players deny wrongdoing

Of course, what are they going to say? But it's not the quality of their work, it's the amount. Three hours of course credit for reading one book and writing one ten-page paper? That's not right.

No, not at Auburn!

Auburn professor alleges fake classes

I am shocked, shocked, to discover allegations that Auburn football players were taking "directed readings" courses that apparently involved no work to speak of, for which they received high grades. Such a thing seems so out of character.

No, and it is

Is petting zoo a terrorist target? 'This is absurd'

Apparently, some genius in the state government included "Old McDonald's Petting Zoo" on a list of potential terrorist targets. I don't think they're taking it too seriously.

Guess who!

Panel approves funds for UAB

Yes, it's Porkmaster Shelby!

UAB is in line to receive another $20 million installment from Congress for the next phase of its massive new research complex named for the Alabama senator who directs federal spending on science programs.

It's still a few steps from becoming law, but U.S. Sen. Richard Shelby's subcommittee approved the UAB money Tuesday along with dozens of other Alabama projects. They're part of a 2007 spending plan for commerce, justice and science related agencies - a $51.2 billion endeavor.

Why are commerce, justice, and science lumped together anyway? Why not? It's all the same to the "Shelby Interdisciplinary Biomedical Research Building".

Oh, that's just great

City earns shot at 'Idol' audition

Considering (a) the dominance of Alabamian contestants in said talent show, and (b) the insane obsession of Alabamians with said talent show, it's hardly surprising. But is depressing, and likely to be annoying.

Yay, scantily clad female athletes!

Beach comes to Hoover

Well, sort-of. Hoover's 250 miles inland. They're having a professional "Beach" Volleyball tournament at the baseball stadium. Technically it's more "Sand" volleyball, what with there being no water.

¿Quién es más diabólico?

A famous name vs. deep pockets as Wallace and Strange face off

I really haven't given the Republican Lt. Gov. race the attention it deserves. On the one side, you have George Wallace Jr., the much reduced copy of his legendarily monstrous father, who has embraced as much of that legacy as is politically feasible to do in 2006. On the other side, you have Luther Strange, who is probably a supervillain, what with his name and vast resources and partnership in objectively evil law firm Bradley Arant Rose & White and being six foot nine. So it's loads of fun. Both sides are employing the time-honored Republican tactic of claiming the other guy is secretly a liberal, but unfortunately they're both lying.

Yet another reason to hate soccer

Even I could tell that the French badly outplayed the Italians, yet they lost because it's almost impossible to score when the other team has ten guys between you and the goal and the game winds up getting decided by a stupid alternating-shot contest.