Lawmakers vow to fight missile cuts

Congress actually did some smart things in the military spending bill; one of them was to cut spending on the massive redirection of tax dollars to military contractors for no good reason known as SDI. No good deed goes unpunished, and Alabama lawmakers (Huntsville's missile programs took a big hit from the cuts) are vowing to fight.

[Senator/Traitor/Rich Guy Richard] Shelby said the cuts were disappointing because investment in defense programs is needed to support homeland security and the war on terrorism.

Because, as everyone knows, terrorists are likely to strike at the USA with their extensive intercontinental missile arsenals.

Coke invading big dairy business

They're going after Yoo-Hoo with a chocolate drink, to go with Vanilla Coke. Traditionally, strawberry would be next.

Church of Nativity filthy, but little damage

Lot of respect the terrorists showed Christianity's second-holiest shrine, what with the urine and garbage and food crumbs. But hey, they didn't blow anything up!

My computer's in the shop (I'm sending this from work) and I'll be mostly incommunicado this weekend. I may post a little later on today, nothing on Sunday.

Somebody really hates Adam Duritz

I assume that's the reason that last night he jumped all the way into the lead in my poll, after being in fifth or sixth most of the time.

South Korean dog meat dealers cancel World Cup plans

Like many, if not most, people of Euro-American background, I have a visceral distaste for the idea of eating dogs. But that's just an emotional reaction. Is there a rational reason to oppose the practice -- not that a rational reason is always needed -- or are condemnations by people who eat beef or pork on a regular basis hypocritical?

Using dogs as a source of meat is an inefficient use of energy. To some degree, that's true of most animals -- my understanding is that about ninety percent of calories are lost in the conversion from vegetable to animal -- but it's particularly true of dogs, which are of course carnivores. I don't know how dogs raised for meat are fed today, but I think originally they foraged for scraps. I wouldn't say this is necessarily immoral, though.

My opinion is that the relationship between dogs and humans is a special one. Dogs were the first domesticated animal, and have always been a partner animal in a way only the horse might match. I think it's a violation of the partnership to eat dogs. But that's not really a rational reason, is it?

My Speech to the Graduates by Woody Allen

More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Yes, it's graduation time! And I get to participate in the ceremony. Well, I have to, under penalty of being fired. And I have to wear academic robes, which I hate. The worst part is that the college uses black robes, which are bad for two reasons. One is that they soak up the heat, which is pretty oppressive already in mid-May in Alabama, even at 10 AM. Second, I have relatively fair skin and I look really pale in black. My description last year was that I looked like a "snowball sitting on a Franklin stove," and frankly I felt like I was melting.

House Passes Defense Spending Bill (washingtonpost.com)

Hey, guess what? There's money for the "Crusader" system in the budget! You know, the artillery weapon the Pentagon doesn't want and Rumsfeld tried to kill earlier this week? Said noted one defense expert (in that running the triple option takes a QB who can read the defense):

"If we intend to have the best ground forces possible for force protection and future fire support, the answer is Crusader," said one of those lawmakers, Rep. J.C. Watts, R-Okla.

Except, you know, not. But it's made in Oklahoma, so OK!

Average top-paying job around? Biologist at $92,000

I like this list:

Worst working environment:
• No. 246 -- Taxi driver
• No. 247 -- NFL football player
• No. 248 -- Race car driver
• No. 249 -- Firefighter
• No. 250 -- President of the United States of America

Siege Ends at Church as Palestinians Begin to Leave (washingtonpost.com)

Cyprus, which figured, "What the heck," took the 13 exiles, but only temporarily. Now the fun of finding a permanent home begins. Funny how none of the European countries that have been so harsh with Israel of late want to take them, isn't it?

Priest accused of molesting, suspended

In Birmingham and in Decatur (northern Alabama, near Huntsville). It looks like a pretty typical pattern; priest accused of sexual misconduct, ordered to treatment, kicked upstairs.

Hi, I'm Newt Gingrich, loathsome has-been. I was married to my second wife for 19 years before our divorce in 1999, but now I'm asking the Catholic Church to give me an annulment. But hey, at least I tell her about it while she was on her sickbed after cancer surgery, like I did with my first wife.

"You know, Trudeau was right. My name does sound like a character from Dune."

Students' History Knowledge Lacking, Test Finds (washingtonpost.com)

I majored in history, but... YAWN. I'm sorry, this isn't news anymore. Heck, as far as I know they just reprinted the same article from last year. Or 1976.

Bethlehem Talks Hit New Snag, Delaying End of Israeli Siege

Mr. Hosni said there had also been an agreement for the 13 militants to keep their assault rifles.

WHAT?!?! I seriously doubt that the Israeli authorities were going to agree to that. And I'm pretty sure whatever European country (Italy and Spain, they say now) gets stuck with the gunmen isn't going to let them bring their guns on the plane.

The Sideshow

Avedon Carol (hey, my name gets reversed all the time -- the Mac is short for "McCutcheon" -- Scottish, not Irish! -- and everybody wants to make that a last name) takes issue with my brief dismissal of Robert Wright, comparing the treatment he wants of Arafat with the actual treatment of Gerry Adams. I can't disagree that there's a disconnect between American policy towards Israel and its blind eye towards IRA terrorism. There are some slight differences between the two, but it's a valid point.

I would say, however, that we've seen that Arafat won't negotiate in good faith, and that even if he would he's not in control of Hezbollah and Hamas. I honestly don't see the point in talking to him. My main argument with Wright is that his answer always seems to be to negotiate with Arafat. If he's a terrorist, they should. If he's not a terrorist, but can control terrorists, they should. If he's not a terrorist, and has no control over the terrorists, they should. If he's an implacable foe of Israel and wants to kill every Jew he can and drive the rest into the sea -- and he is -- they should negotiate with him anyway. Israel -- according to Wright, and I disagree -- didn't go far enough in previous negotations, but the PA hasn't given up anything at all. All they've done is ramp up the Intifada.

My opinion is that you don't negotiate with terrorists. Rewarding them only reinforces their resolve to commit more acts of terror. And the United States should not have pressured the UK to talk to Sinn Fein, though I understand the domestic political reasons why we did.

The Scotsman - Top Stories - Scotland to approve same-sex weddings

I could make a kilt joke here, but I will decline. Good for the Scots.

(Via Grim Amusements.)

Cardinal Law Says Pedophile Matter Was Left to Aides

In other words, he shouldn't be found guilty of aiding and abetting. He should be found guilty of simple negligence. And the Church, if it cared, shouldn't have removed him for protecting child molesters, but for incompetence. I don't see how this makes him look any better.

Single-Sex Education Gets Boost (washingtonpost.com)

Dubya wants to push single-sex public schools. It's all part of the administration plan to turn the education clock back to 1935. Next: single-race public schools!

That was facile and a little unfair, but segregation is segregation. The idea troubles me, not least because I had enough trouble talking to girls as it was without removing them completely from the scene.

Soccer riots in Rotterdam

More mindblowingly dull international sports... Rotterdam, the city where Pim Fortuyn scored his first big electoral victory, saw its soccer team win a trophy today. In an almost American fashion, the fans rioted; it's not clear if this has anything to do with Fortuyn.

Ex-New Zealand captains voice concern

Of all the dumb items... The Hindu reports that former New Zealand cricket captains say that no international cricket is going to be played in Pakistan "for some time" because of the bomb a couple of days ago. Somebody actually wrote this story.

Senate passes election-year increase in farm subsidies, sends bill to Bush

Great Moments in Link Writing

The AJC links to the story with "Democrats push through
pork-laden farm bill", which sure looks biased, doesn't it? Except it's more or less true and I agree with it. To be fair, at least thirteen Republicans voted for it, and Bush is going to sign it. It's a disgusting piece of fatty, rotten, pork.

Jeez, you take NyQuil and go into a coma for a few hours, and look what happens.

The Sarge has quit; he's still updating Beers Across America but says 'No more geopolitical crap, no more insights into the "military lifestyle".' Damn.

And Mickey Kaus has sold out -- or "rented out" -- to Slate and his blog will appear there. Hey, anyone want to get a solid 180 readers a day, I'm right here! I'll sell out to anyone, I'm not proud!

Authorities conducting searches at Nuwaubian Moors compound

This sounds like a fun group. Take their leader:

Law enforcement sources said the group's leader, Malachi York, was taken into custody outside the compound a short time earlier. Authorities were refusing to discuss the specifics. York, sometimes called Dwight York, served time in New York in the 1960s for assault, resisting arrest and possession of a dangerous weapon.

York has claimed to be from another galaxy and has said that in 2003 spaceships are going to descend from the sky and pick up a chosen 144,000 people for a rebirth.

Something I will never understand... Why do people follow crazy people?

ESPN.com: BOXING - Down for the count: Tyson's PR firm quits

If you complain about your job -- and who doesn't? -- just remember: You could be doing PR for Mike Tyson. This firm did it for five years!

Ananova - EU may get new 'bar-code' logo

I don't know. It looks more like a test signal to me.

Then I read the article and the designer says he put all the colors of all the countries on the flag. (Then why not avoid duplicates, at least?) And it hits me; it looks like a distorted image on the web, one that's been flattened or stretched out of recognition by bad coding.

"Overlawyered", my butt

Limestone County, in North Alabama, is building a new county jail on the site of a gas station. The county commission just voted to test the site for toxic waste. To protect not only inmates, but guards and other workers at the jail, not to mention construction workers? No, because otherwise somebody's going to get sick and sue. Don't worry, if the Business Council of Alabama gets its way, you won't have to worry about that anymore.

U.S. Argues For Wider Gun Rights (washingtonpost.com)

OK, the Justice Department's made itself pretty clear it doesn't have much regard for Amendments Four through Ten, and One isn't a big priority either. They haven't gotten around to Three yet, but give them time. But Two? That one they can't get enough of.

Great Moments in Headline Writing

Compare and contrast:

CNN.com - Organic produce not pesticide-free, study says - May 8, 2002

Mercury News: Pesticides less evident in organic food

Boston.com: Organic produce has pesticides, too, but far less than conventional food, study finds

I don't eat organic food: it's more expensive, and usually smaller, plus it has poop on it. But this is a nice little spread of headlines, isn't it?

Hey, guess what the Arabic News calls assholes who blow themselves and civilians up!

"Martyrdom operation kills 15 Israelis, wounded 57, Sharon cuts visit to US."

"Martyrdom operation". I can't take it anymore.

Smoking Guns By Robert Wright

What a twit.

Karachi Bus Blast Kills 14 (washingtonpost.com)

11 of them were French. I'm not advocating blowing up French people, but I find, somehow, that it doesn't concern me as much. I know it's wrong of me, but I'm being honest.

A Rebel flag flies at the home were police seized a stash of crystal meth and counterfeit bills

Oh, dear. But wait, it gets better: next to the symbol of slavery and racism flew an Egyptian flag.

Student, 21, Is Arrested in Nevada in 5-State Bombing Spree

We may have a winner of the Lindh Family Parent of the Year Award:

This afternoon, Mr. Helder's father, Cameron Helder, defended his son before reporters and urged the young man to turn himself in.

"I really want you to know that Luke is not a dangerous person," Cameron Helder said in a brief statement outside his home. "I think he's just trying to make a statement about the way our government is run. I think Luke wants people to listen to his ideas, and not enough people are hearing him and he thinks this may help."

Where to begin? Well, first, if he's trying to make a statement about the US Postal Service, then I suppose this makes sense. But I kinda doubt that he's that worked up about it.

More importantly, you make a statement by writing letters, joining protest groups, working for political candidates. Trying to blow people up is not making a statement. It's terrorism. And anyone who does it forfeits the right to be listened to.

Suicide Attack Kills More Than 15 in Israel

Honestly, how can anyone condone, or even excuse, this? I can't believe it. Attacks on military targets are one thing, but this sort of murder of civilians is completely unexcuseable.

Technology for 'dramatically better pictures and sound quality' arrives

The Huntsville Times tells us about that exciting new high-definition TV technology. Next week, they'll probably discover DVD. Or radio.

AFA: Right-wing populist Fortuyn launches new book

I do not know if the quotes here are real. I used to know a little Dutch, but have forgotten most of it, so I can't track down the original. I suppose it's possible the translations have been distorted. If not, Pim Fortuyn's hagiographers have some explaining to do...

"Moroccan boys never steal from Moroccans. Did you notice that? We can be stolen from, but not them."

"The mistake is made when we bend to the Jewish lobby. Not in the sense of compensation for theft and harm made to those directly involved or relatives , but in the sense of the general compensation which was handed out to all kinds of Jewish foundations, which can use that money, our money, for every purpose they want, even to hand it out among the poor. This action I put in the category, Once, but never again!"

[Migrants are] "a dead weight in society".

[He is promoting a] "survival of the fittest society."

That last is a real giveaway, isn't it? He may not have been a fascist (I don't see the anti-democratic stance I associate with fascism) but he surely was a social Darwinist. The American politician he most closely resembled, it would seem, would be Pat Buchanan. (The only countries he would have accepted migrants from were England, France, Denmark, and Germany. "Zulus", anyone?)

Hanssen to Avoid Death Penalty Despite U.S. Qualms (washingtonpost.com)

Why not? Oh, a plea agreement. Sheesh. If anyone should get the needle, it should be those guilty of treason.

CNN.com - Rolling Stones to announce new tour Tuesday - May 3, 2002

This is official, now; I heard the press conference at lunch. This will probably be really embarrassing, considering that Mick and Keith are both pushing sixty. (Hey, boomers! I'm 31, and not only have the Stones always been there to me, they've always been has-beens! How old does that make you feel?) But they're always technically proficient, if not inspired.

They're also releasing a two-disc greatest hits package.

Calendar Live - Will's 'Strategery'

Looks like SNL will need a new Dubya.

Uncle Bob's Diary O' Chuckles

Who isn't getting a lot of hits for "Lisa Lopes Autopsy Photos" these days?

Fametracker :: Galaxy of Fame :: Special Bad Girls Edition!

Fametracker is back after a couple weeks off, with the Galaxy of Fame, which I shamelessly rip off on a regular basis.

Israel Defense Forces

The IDF reports -- of course, nobody in Europe will believe this -- that they found a book at Yasser's Bethlehem palace entitled "Zionazism". It's what it sounds like. The author is a member of the Palestinian National Council. If you're looking for an exit for the Weasel, it appears that the book was actually the property of the head of his bodyguard.

Nixon Archives Portray Another 'War' on Terror (washingtonpost.com)

War on Terror, Nixon style! That is, he talked big but never actually did anything, and Kissinger and Haig were afraid of offending various tyrants, and nobody tried to stop the terrorists, so thirty years later we're still dealing with the same problems.

Deal Set in Bethlehem Siege (washingtonpost.com)

Except nobody actually asked the Italians if they would take the bastards who are being exiled. They're "considering" it. What, all the Palestinians' great friends in Europe and the Arab world, and nobody wants these guys? I am shocked, shocked!

USATODAY.com - U.S. warns more nations: Weapons efforts must stop

I can see Syria and Libya as members of the Axis of Evil. But Cuba? That's just silly. Yes, it's a brutal repressive dictatorship, yada yada yada, but it's a frightfully poor brutal repressive dictatorship. To me it just sounds like the usual paranoia about Cuba.

Maher Out, Kimmel In?

A late night show starring Jimmy Kimmel -- who is intermittently amusing but not in my opinion a potential star -- will either be incredibly popular among the frat-boy crowd or a huge train wreck. Potentially both.

Loudon Track to Install Soft Walls

Gosh, it only took two years to do this after two drivers died in separate accidents there.

$11 Billion Artillery System Is Dead, Officials Say

I wish. What this is is a reiteration of Rumsfeld's opposition to the "Crusader" system. That doesn't mean much. If Congress wants the Army to have an $11 billion system that can't actually be used, the Army's going to get it.

ajc.com | Sports | Judge blocks mag's fake Kournikova pics

I doubt this will actually stop anyone from looking at the pictures. They're probably all over the net by now.

OK, I've calmed down a little... "Fascist" is probably an unfair term to use to refer to Fortuyn. But the man did profess some ugly views of Muslims, and his appeal was along similar lines to Le Pen and to other non-mainstream right-wingers in Europe.

The Ole Miss Conservative has temporarily moved to the University's server. Instapundit Linkage Syndrome caused him to overwhelm his bandwidth.

The Post-Herald reveals what religion has hidden

Hey, look what you get when you type in www.post-herald.com rather than www.postherald.com (the Birmingham afternoon paper).

The Ole Miss Conservative has the definitive takedown of the Guardian Guy's visit to his home state. Are there any bloggers in Arkansas or Louisiana?

The Ugly Europeans - Jean-Marie Le Pen, Jörg Haider, and other xenophobes. By Chris Suellentrop

Old story, but I bring it up to comment on some of the tears being shed for Pim Fortuyn, the Dutch right-winger who was assassinated today. Make no mistake: if Fortuyn wasn't a fascist, he was close enough to make no difference. This is a man whose entire platform was based on opposition to immigration, who said that the Netherlands was "full", that Islam was a "backward religion", and -- best of all -- that Muslims should be kept out of the Netherlands because they would endanger the Dutch reputation for tolerance. So he was gay; belonging to one minority doesn't excuse hating another. He was the Dutch Le Pen.

But the usually sensible-enough Protein Wisdom, for example, quotes another blogger who calls Fortuyn a "neo-conservative" and not "a buffoon like Le Pen". Great, so he was a smart racist demogogue. Andrew Ian Dodge blames the assassination on "the left", generally, and claims this shows that "the left" doesn't believe in democracy. Instapundit only uses the assassination as a launching pad for another anti-gun control rant.

Fortuyn should not have been assassinated. But he's no great loss.

Dr. Weevil thinks that "Islamofascists" is unfair -- to Mussolini. I don't know about that, but I tend to think of Fascism as less of an Italian thing than as descriptive of the type of government -- unlike Nazism, which was more clearly a German phenomenon, a German brand of Fascism.

InstaPundit.Com

The good news is that I got an Instapundit link. Bad news is it's to the old site, to my Stormwatch 2002! rant of a month ago. Oh, well.

ajc.com | News | Saudis confiscate women's gowns

We aren't talking evening wear here; these were the usual abayas, but were judged to be too clingy, too revealing, or too highly decorated. Our allies!

The TV network Lifetime traditionally shows an almost continual stream of women-in-jeopardy movies; us Neanderthal male TV watchers have made a lot of jokes about it. But it's been successful, and why change what works?

LIFETIME kicks off its exciting new summer line up with the premiere of the LIFETIME Original movie, "Scared Silent," starring Penelope Ann Miller ("Carlito's Way," "The Relic," "Along Came a Spider"), Reed Diamond ("Homicide," "Judging Amy," "Three Days") and Andrew Jackson ("The Last Don II," "Earth: Final Conflict"). It's the haunting story of a determined group of women, all raped by the same police officer, who challenge the male-dominated legal system to bring their rapist to justice. "Scared Silent" premieres Monday, May 20, from 9-11 PM (ET/PT) on LIFETIME Television.

You can't make this stuff up.

CBS News | Plague Of Locusts In Afghanistan | May 6, 2002 12:33:08

"Biblical proportions" is used in the very first sentence. It's a cliche, but I can't blame them. What more is Afghanistan going to have to suffer?

USATODAY.com - 'Modern Millie' tops Tony nominees

"Mamma Mia" was nominated for Best Musical. In other words, ABBA was nominated for a Tony!

Andress enters race for state treasurer

"Twinkle Andress" is the worst/best name I've seen for a politician since Sammy Swindle was elected to the county commission.

ajc.com | News | HEART OF DIXIE LICENSE PLATE

It's a good thing that the Guardian Guy is in Mississippi now, so that anti-Alabama stories can get back into the Atlanta Journal-Constitution where they belong.

The "Heart of Dixie" slogan on the car tags changes every time, it seems. The one on the new tags is very small, about the size of a thumbprint, and printed white-on-red. It's illegible from a car, or really more than about three feet away.

I, personally, have no problem with the "Heart of Dixie" slogan, but then I'm white. I'm mostly upset that they rejected my favorite car tag slogan, "Alabama: First in the Alphabet".

Lead cleanup begins in Anniston
Danger by yard: EPA cleanup begins

Anniston must be one of the most polluted places around. This lead poisoning is on top of the massive poisoning problem caused by Monsanto. Throw in the Army's chemical weapons destruction facility, and... well, don't live in Anniston.

You're next, Arkansas!

The guy, Engel, who completely embarrassed himself with a story based on one guy he met at an Olive Garden in Birmingham, has moved west to Mississippi, where he's embarrassed himself once again. Lee Ann of Spinsters.com has the gory details.

Archbishop Lipscomb blesses Bayou La Batre's shrimp fleet

Just in case you thought the Catholic hierarchy never did anything useful.

J.Lo Tops 'Carmen' Update

This is one of the prices we have to pay for living in a free society, I guess.

Boston Cardinal Defends Decision to Back Out of Abuse Settlement

Why should anyone listen to anything this obstructor of justice has to say? I won't.

CNN.com - Buffett: Nuclear attack 'virtually a certainty' - May 6, 2002

God, I hoped we were past this phase, but I guess not. It's not bad enough we have to put up with rock stars and actors who think they're experts on everything, rich people have to be too. Warren Buffett made a lot of money in the stock market, so he gets attention for saying we're going to be attacked by terrorists with nukes.

CNN.com - Arafat yet to sign off on Bethlehem deal - May 6, 2002

He's opposed to the exile of more than six "senior terrorists". Apparently, terrorists have a seniority system. I don't know if it's simply time served, or if maybe it's by the number of kids you've convinced to blow themselves up.

The Courier Mail: Buffy's end is nigh – really [02may02]

It's been rumored for awhile, but Nicolas Brendon confirms that the next season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer will be the last; not only are the stars out of contract then, but Joss Whedon has found he can't devote the time to the series he wants.