Friday, March 30, 2007

Lock him up!

Breaking News from The Birmingham News: Prosecutors say Scrushy might be flight risk

The Scrush apparently violated his bail agreement by taking a yacht from Palm Beach to Miami. Which I have to admit seems like the way to go when it comes to violating bail. The government had agreed to allow him to take a family vacation to Disney World, which most felons don't get to do. Anyway, the prosecutor wants him put under house arrest with electronic monitoring (i.e. ankle bracelet). Yay!

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I do the puns around here

Town wants clear water

Lead sentence of an article about a town that wants a new water system:

"STEELE - Steele's waters may run deep, but they haven't been very clear."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HILARIOUS! WHAT GENIUS!

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Let go already

Drought grips north Alabama

It's getting pretty bad -- only an inch of rain in Birmingham in March, when normally you'd get over five inches. The effect it's having on most people is that we're constantly sneezing. Apparently, plants let out more pollen during a drought, and there's no rain to get rid of it. I don't normally have pollen allergies (my problems are with manmade pollutants) but I've been sneezing more than normal.

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

I don't think you are.

Dobson: Thompson must express faith - CNN.com

Breaking: James Dobson is an asshole. I know, big surprise.

Dobson said, 'I don't think he's a Christian.'

A Thompson spokesman quickly contested Dobson's statement, saying 'Thompson is indeed a Christian. He was baptized into the Church of Christ.'

But a declaration of Thompson's religion will not be enough for Dobson, who is viewed as being widely influential with evangelical Christians, a key Republican voting bloc.

'We were pleased to learn from his spokesperson that Sen. Thompson professes to be a believer,' said Nima Reza, a Dobson spokeswoman. 'Thompson hasn't clearly communicated his religious faith, and many evangelical Christians might find this a barrier to supporting him.'

I've posted this before, but Dobson seems to be unfamiliar with the Gospels, so here it is again, Matthew, 6:3-6:

But when you give to the needy*, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Of course, this is only Jesus, not James Dobson talking here.

*Yeah, right. Verses 3-4 don't apply to Republicans.

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We can't have people with tattoos in the Army!

Uncle Sam wants you, tattoos and all

Apparently, the Alabama National Guard used to red-flag people with prominent tattoos and get them reviewed by officers to see if they were acceptable. Because God knows nobody in the military has a tattoo. Anyway, what with Iraq this policy has been shelved.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Yeah, that was fun

Traffic light software caused rush-hour delays

Tuscaloosa DOT says they don't know what caused the stoplights to get out of sequence. I have a guess -- it was a Daylight Savings Time issue. At any rate, that's when they went bad.

This should be good

IRS seeks Jeffco checks aiding nonprofit group

So we have this nonprofit agency, "Computer Help for Kids", which the IRS is investigating. It was founded by an all-star group: Crazy Larry Langford, Richard Scrushy, and former Birmingham City Councilman and Jefferson County Commissioner John Katopodis. The nonprofit refurbishes used computers and donates them to needy children, which seems like a good thing. However, there seem to be some issues in CHK's books, which are all tangled up with another foundation founded by Katopodis and with the Holy Family Catholic school's foundation, headed by Langford's wife. Langford and Scrushy... Even if there's nothing here, I have to cover this.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Nerdvana

HBO, BBC discover 'Einstein' project

1. It's a TV movie about Einstein and his theory of relativity.
2. Einstein will be played by Anthony "Gollum" Serkis.
3. Arthur Eddington will be played by David "Doctor Who" Tennant.

I am so geeked out by this I might even spring for HBO.

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The comedy stylings of police Cmdr. Chris Tennant

Police: Man swiped 1,500 women's undies - CNN.com

So this perp stole 93 pounds of underwear from apartment complex laundry rooms. Cmdr. Tennant really enjoys his job:

"He said he had a problem," Tennant said...

"We were kind of concerned about how to match up bras and panties with victims," Tennant said. "Based on the unique descriptions from a couple of women, we can tie him to those thefts."

The underwear will be held as evidence until the case is resolved, after which their disposition is uncertain, Tennant said.

"Would you really want them back?" he asked. "I would say not."

Well, probably not, no. But I'm really curious about these "unique descriptions".

Why did she start wearing one?

Woman stopped wearing girdle of live crocodiles - CNN.com

So apparently a woman tried to cross the border between Egypt and Gaza -- only one of the most heavily guarded and inspected crossings in the world -- with three live crocodiles strapped to her waist. I suppose it's not the most dangerous thing that someone in that part of the world has had strapped to their body, but it's still pretty scary.

(h/t Meryl.)

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That does seem shady

Residents fight sale of old City Hall site

Apparently, the city of Homewood sold its old City Hall to a developer for $1.1 million even though the site was valued at $2 million, and the city attorney says that that's okay because they don't have to follow the state law about selling to the highest bidder. Generally, when a government agency -- or anyone -- sells property for less than the going rate, there is some nefarious reason.

My car is greenish-yellow

There's how much pollen?

Which is weird, because the registration says it's black.

Anyway, there's a whole lot of pollen. Nobody knows how much for sure, because there's no pollen monitor in Birmingham.

Monday, March 26, 2007

I wish it were so

Daily Kos: AL-Sen: Introducing Ron Sparks
Swing State Project's James L takes a look at Alabama Agriculture and Industry Commissioner and veteran Ron Sparks, otherwise known as the guy that can take out Sen. Jeff Sessions in a tough Southern state.
Sessions is beneath contempt. And I wish Sparks could beat him. I just don't see it. Alabama's not just a tough Southern state, it's now probably the most conservative and most Republican (in statewide elections) of the South.

The peculation of David Stockman

Ex-Collins & Aikman cheif [sic] charged with fraud - Mar. 26, 2007

I saw the link "Ex-Reagan budget chief charged" and said to myself, "Oh, please let it be David Stockman!" and it was! I hope he shares a cell with Scrushy.

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In which I plant tomatoes in my car

1. Seeds need what to sprout? Heat and moisture, right?
2. So where is a better place to plant tomato seeds than in a watered pot which I keep in my car, since my car is going to be 100 degrees at noon thanks to the heat and the sun?

This is crazy, right?

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School's out forever

No closing list until tests over

The Birmingham Board of Education -- which is kind of like the Birmingham City Council if the City Council were completely inept -- won't vote on what schools will close (they're being forced to close some because the state thinks that the current ones aren't overcrowded enough) until after testing, because schools are now run for the expressed purpose of having standardized tests. That's all they're for. Anyway, apparently last time they closed schools, students got all depressed and did worse on their tests. But after the testing is over, who cares if the students are depressed? We have tests to prepare.

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And yet, nobody noticed

Northern Irish power deal marks 'new era' - CNN.com

You would think that a power-sharing deal between the Unionists and Sinn Fein would be all over the news. But it doesn't seem to be. I guess we've moved on. Bigger and better terrorism elsewhere.

That will come in handy

Alabamians beat nation in Biblical knowledge

Thanks to our advantage over the heathen hordes in Biblical knowledge, Alabama will be competitive in the fast-growing Bible Trivia industry.

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The grass fights back

1999 Jasper bomb case still open

Jeez, somebody put a bomb in a lawnmower? That's pretty hard-core.