Advantages to voting Democratic in Northport, Alabama:

-- No worry about running out of ballots.

-- No worry about having to vote on any of those "downballot" local races, like United States Congress, because nobody will run for those offices as a Democrat anymore.

-- A wide variety of dirty looks from "neutral" pollworkers, who will also helpfully record your ballot for you if you're in a hurry.

-- Candidates with comical nicknames like "Choo-Choo" and "Rodeo Clown". (I am not making these nicknames up.)

I actually considered voting Republican this once, so as to vote for Bob Riley (on the "Least Objectionable Republican" principle), and for Twinkle Andress (on the "Vote for Anyone Who Sounds Like a Porn Star" principle). I decided against it because in the end, I'm not a Republican. Also, they send out a lot of junk mail to anyone who votes in their primary. Which reminds me of another advantage:

-- We don't have enough money to bury you in fourth-class mail anymore.