American dream
U.S. holds on to upset Portugal 3-2 at World Cup

I would just like to take a moment here to talk smack to the Portuguese. I don't actually have anything against them, and I would much prefer the US had beaten France or Italy, but here goes:

Hey, Portugal! Guess what! We're so big and so bad, we can send over a bunch of fourth-class athletes to play a sport nobody in America really cares about -- because it is about as exciting as watching paint dry -- but is your national sport, and still kick your sorry, neutral-in-World-War-II, really-speaking-a-Spanish-dialect asses!

America woke up Wednesday to one of its greatest soccer wins.

Then hit the snooze alarm, went back to sleep, woke up again ten minutes later and checked on the baseball scores.