Wow, racist Germans

German army in new racism row - CNN.com

What are the odds?

The instructor tells the soldier, "You are in the Bronx. A black van is stopping in front of you. Three African-Americans are getting out and they are insulting your mother in the worst ways ... Act."

The soldier fires his machine gun several times and yells an obscenity several times in English. The instructor then tells the soldier to curse even louder.

I mean, he's no Don Imus, but at some point you'd think that people would at least learn not to do this stuff on camera. You'd think.

Serial arsonists

Church arsonists given 2-year state sentences

So after the Three Duhmigos get out of federal prison, they get to go straight to state prison for two years. Maybe they could take notes, tell us which is worse. And there's still the three other counties they haven't been prosecuted in yet, plus the thirteen years probation after they get out.

You suck, Rudy

Giuliani seeks votes in Alabama

He isn't really. The original version of this story, I believe, had the headline that he was seeking "votes, money", and considering Alabama's status as the safest of safe GOP states in presidential campaigns, and its primary date in the shadow of the big states, he's mostly after the latter.

Giuliani was asked the price of milk question and was off by a factor of 200. Way off. He thinks a gallon costs about a $1.50. When was the last time he went shopping?

Maybe they can room with Scrushy

3 church arsonists get 7-8 years

What continues to impress is the sheer stupidity of the arsonists, one of whom admitted that:

the three decided to break into a church and set fire to plastic flowers after not having much luck spotlighting deer.

Well, that's a normal reaction, isn't it? I know that if I fail in my efforts to kill a defenseless animal for fun, I usually go out and set fire to something, don't you?

We can't have people with tattoos in the Army!

Uncle Sam wants you, tattoos and all

Apparently, the Alabama National Guard used to red-flag people with prominent tattoos and get them reviewed by officers to see if they were acceptable. Because God knows nobody in the military has a tattoo. Anyway, what with Iraq this policy has been shelved.

School's out forever

No closing list until tests over

The Birmingham Board of Education -- which is kind of like the Birmingham City Council if the City Council were completely inept -- won't vote on what schools will close (they're being forced to close some because the state thinks that the current ones aren't overcrowded enough) until after testing, because schools are now run for the expressed purpose of having standardized tests. That's all they're for. Anyway, apparently last time they closed schools, students got all depressed and did worse on their tests. But after the testing is over, who cares if the students are depressed? We have tests to prepare.

National. Televised. Bingo.

Variety.com - ABC hastens call on 'Bingo Night'

America, I was able to handle "The Bachelor". And "Joe Millionaire". And "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader." (Answer: evidently not.) But if you take this show to your bosom, we are through.